Creativity, Empathy, and Humility

THE VIRTUES OF MASSAGE

Creative expression requires the spark of imagination.  It is an energy that pushes your pen against the paper to manifest the images of your mind’s eye.  Art may be created without instruction, education, or guidance, but some require training, practice, and support.  Massage is similar.  Some may possess the natural aptitude to provide an amazing massage experience, but most need guidance. Developing great massage skills requires a solid foundation.  This foundation is built from the cornerstones of Creativity, Empathy, and Humility.

CREATIVITY

A great massage therapist must feed their creativity.  They need to participate in extracurricular activities that encourages them to think outside of the box, to build something, and see their life with new eyes.

The craft of massage alone is not enough to feed the soul of an amazing massage therapist.  We must have avenues to recharge our spirit and remind us why we give.  We must explore the pathways outside our trade to master the skills within.

A great massage is like a work of art.  Like art there are elements and principals of massage.  The elements of art are the visual tools used by an artist to create a composition.  These include line, shape, color, value, form, texture, and space.  How could these terms be reinterpreted to provide new insight into massage?  Consider thinking about the direction of each stroke, the shape of our hands, the lighting of the room, the intensity of our pressure, the contours of our client’s body, and the texture of the lotions.

Elements and Principles of Massage

LINES AND SHAPES

Lines are marks that are connected between two points.  A viewer uses the line to understand a message created by an artist.  This mark may be used to imply movement, direction, or suggest an intention.  Artists often use lines to produce texture, to imply or force their audience to see shapes.

In massage the line helps us create a story.  We must paint lines on our client’s body with our mind’s eye.  Think of it like the narrative of a story, the line is the storyline of the massage adventure.  It may be used to plot a course of action and encourage trust and comfort with your client.

A shape creates a two-dimensional plane.  It is comprised of one or more lines of various lengths.  Shapes can be defined by emotional associations when a viewer sees them.  Simplistic shapes like circles, triangles, and squares often imply a symbolic significance, while shapes with acute angles may be perceived as dangerous.  Curvilinear shapes are often interpreted as chaotic and adaptable, while rectilinear encourage stability, and dependability.

How do Lines Encourage Trust?

Sometimes people only want specific areas of their body addressed.  If we draw a line in our mind’s eye, we can create a fence to ensure we stay within the areas they want massaged.  One of the most common complaints the public makes is “I asked them to only massage X, but they massaged Z.”

As licensed professionals we must have the ability to listen, and ethically adhere to the personal boundaries set by our client, and our scope of practice.  We are guests visiting their personal palace, we need to respect their wishes by massaging the area we have been granted permission to touch.  When we give a line shape, we can create a fence that demonstrates our capacity to listen and follow instruction.  When we do this, it fosters trust.

How do Lines Encourage Comfort?

Many clients want to lay on the table and let you do your thing.  They want to feel your story and be lulled into a deep satisfying sleep.  To achieve their expectations, we must write a story for them. 

We must set the stage, ensure we are writing the genre they want to experience, use a comforting voice, and captivate their spirit.  Every scene must have significance, and each sentence should flow into the next.  The story should be easy to follow, your techniques should foreshadow twists and turns, and ultimately the end of the story should end with them in a state of peace and harmony.

If we perform each massage with the intent of telling a story, every session will feel spectacular.  When our client knows we have a story to tell, they will feel comfortable, safe, and secure.

Form

Form is the volume of height, width, and depth of a three-dimensional object.  It typically refers to physical works of art like sculptures.

In massage it may represent the shape of your hand, the client’s anatomical structures, and the tools utilized throughout a service.  Many massage therapists apply their techniques utilizing a robotic and orderly approach.  They fail to imagine how the shape of their hand may feel for the client.  The application of your techniques may be drastically altered based on how you position your hand.  Pair up with another massage therapist and explore how a specific technique feels based on how you hold your hand.  Then change the shape of your hand and compare the two.

Color

Hues, chroma, and value are used to determine the elements of color.  Hue is the primary color, value is how light or dark it is, and chroma is the intensity of the color.  Chroma is a tool used to distinguish between strong and weak colors as seen on the color wheel.

The importance of color in relation to a massage service is witnessed in areas unrelated to its application.  It is the fluff to the crunch.  Examples of color include the color of the products used in the service, the lubricant bottles, the therapist’s attire, the décor, branding colors, and the color of the light used in the treatment room.

The colors used in a spa influence how the client experience their journey.  Remain aware of the colors used to ensure the client’s environment promotes their parasympathetic nervous system and encourages them to associate your practice with ethical and professional services.

Space

Space represents the perspective and proportion in relation to shapes and objects.  Positive space is the area that has observable content, while negative space does not.

In massage positive space are the area being massaged.  Negative space are areas that will remain untouched.  Some massage therapists lack the ability to honor the personal boundaries set by the client.  This occurs when a client requests only specific areas to be addressed, but the therapist refused to accommodate the request by massaging outside of the client’s designated fences.

If a client asks to only have their arms massaged, the rest of the body must remain untouched.  Artists and massage therapists have a difficult time with negative space.  When they look at their canvas, they feel like it is incomplete if the entire surface has not been painted.  Respect the integrity of our trade or your art piece by respecting the importance of negative space.

Texture

This is used to determine the surface quality of artwork.  In art the texture can be tactile, or visual.  Tactile means its real surface, and visual is its implied texture.

Texture is important in the application of massage.  It is experienced via the consistency and smoothness of our lubricants, the softness of our hands, the sheets, and blankets.  Changing up lubricants in a session creates variety and helps the client remain actively engaged with the story we are attempting to tell.

Value

Value is determined by the perceivable darkness of tones.  It is often synonymous with luminosity and may be measures in units of electromagnetic radiation.  The difference in value is measured by contrast, this is the range from white to black.

In massage this element manifests through the application of light and its influence on the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system.  It should be our goal to set the lighting to a value that encourages a restful and sleep encouraging atmosphere. 

Mark Making and Materiality

Materiality is the materials and resources used by an artist to create their project.  Mark making is how the artist uses materiality to compose the work of art.

In massage mark making encompasses the techniques used throughout a session and materiality are the resources used to apply those techniques.

Communicating Creatively

Words are meaningful and magical. They can create and destroy, enchant hearts and minds, and weave the world into what we want it to be. Communication is pure sorcery constructed from the building blocks of words and strung together into spells. They are powerful incantations and the ultimate means of manipulating reality.

With as much as we speak it would lead us to believe that the world is populated with wizards and wordsmiths. Unfortunately, the apple falls far from the tree and many of us fail to see how we can communicate to transform the great tapestry.

If we want to become a magician of our own mind, we must study and relearn the words we once earned. Our spells should be spoken with confidence, radiate significance, and be saturated with truth.

One of the problems we face when speaking to others is the use incorrect terminology. Words have meaning, so when they are used improperly, they impair our listener’s ability to understand us.

Sometimes this is done on purpose. In many instances we do this to explore our imagination or to convey a feeling. Other times our speaker’s intent is far more nefarious or malicious.

We must prepare ourselves for these instances, because eventually someone will incorrectly use words to manipulate or confuse us. If we have a solid understanding of our language and the words inside our spell book, we will have the wit to counter spell any harmful incantations cast at us.

When I was talking to Pea Weasel after the robbery, he used various strategies to confuse and manipulate me. One of the things he did was to insert the word “loyalty” into the conversation. He needed to twist its meaning so that his lies could sidestep out of reality into the field of feelings. Fortunately, I had the wit and fortitude to counter spell his enchantment, to see through is manipulations with a healthy dose of “this isn’t going to work.”

I avoided his manipulation by taking the time to creatively explore each word used. What does loyalty mean, and what value does it have in the context of our conversation? For more context read RELATIONSHIP BOUNDARIES)

Let us research the definition of this word and any others that may influence how someone could interpret it.

• Loyalty is the quality of being loyal, or the strong feeling of support or allegiance.
• Loyal is the act of giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution.
• Allegiance is the loyalty or commitment of a subordinate to a superior, or of an individual to a group or cause.
• Support is to give assistance to enable another to function or act.
• Commitment is the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, or activity. It is also an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.
• Obligation is an act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound, and a duty or commitment.
• Duty is a moral or legal obligation; also known as responsibility.
• Responsibility is the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.

Now we apply those definitions to the word in his sentence. What was his goals with its usage, and was it applied correctly? What was his intent when using it? In that moment I knew he was trying to use it to control me. He wanted to have influence over me in that moment so I would stop talking about the issue at hand.

Just because Pea Weasel used it to manipulate me maliciously it doesn’t mean that all people use words to alter our reality in a negative way. Many people simply use words incorrectly, this is where we must use our wisdom, humility, empathy, and creativity to effectively navigate our interactions with others.

EMPATHY

Should the sum of our existence be calculated by a small window of time or a few mistakes?  Do you believe every good deed ought to be dismissed because of a few decisions?

We all do things that lead to disaster.  No one was given an instruction manual or granted a guide, we are all bumbling through life for the first time.  Our existence is a challenging maze and the best we can hope for is a little empathy when we are doing something wrong.  Unfortunately, we are rarely offered love or empathy in these moments, especially in the age of cancel culture.  Everyone seems ready to burn another person’s life to the ground over the slightest misstep.  It doesn’t have to be this way; we can change how the world works by loving the souls around us.  As massage therapists we must avoid cancel culture at all costs.  Our spirit wants us to embrace peace, love, and harmony, because our purpose is to spread goodness, to promote health and encourage hope.  We can change the world and make it a better place by giving love even when love isn’t being offered to us.    

When we offer forgiveness, it helps ease the ferocity of vengeance; it mutes the sharp edge of judgement; and reminds us we can learn from our mistakes. 

Exploring Empathy

A great massage therapist must slice away their bias, open their soul and witness the world through someone else’s eyes.

We all possess the ability to inflict terrible suffering and bestow incredible joy.  We are a complex and magical matrix of roots constantly fed with hurt and health.  We make mistakes, spread misery, and inspire others to feel marvelous.  Our potential is vast and incredible, sometimes unbelievable.  We hurt and help people, commit to actions with uncertain fates and make decisions unaware of their effects.  Simply put, we move through life without purpose, we are unprepared and unpredictable.  This is normal, it is the nature of existence.  Like the fae creatures of story books we are enigmatic, spontaneous, and mysterious.

To understand empathy, we must close our eyes and imagine why others do what they do, we have to feel what they feel and integrate forgiveness into our heart.  With forgiveness we can witness the wonder of the world and use it as our candle to see in the darkest night.  Unfortunately, it is challenging for us to infuse our existence with the bright light of forgiveness.  It is uncomfortable at first, but as the droplets soak our clothes we learn to dance in the rain.

Pain Can Blind Us

I think it’s easy to attack without considering the consequences of our actions.  It is easy to say something is bad simply because it fails to meet our paradigm of thought.  Empathy is hard because it expects us to explore our thoughts and feelings; to develop an understanding of our ideology and find ways to bridge our world with others.  It wants us to consider the thoughts and feelings of people; and to imagine what it is like to be them, so we can treat them fairly based on their circumstance.

What good does any of this do if we don’t know how to apply it to our daily lives?  An expert isn’t born, to be proficient in a skill we must practice it.  We can sit behind old books learning about body language and tonality, but this equates to nothing if we are unwilling to explore our skills.

What is empathy?  According to the Cambridge Dictionary it is “the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation.”

How can we practice empathy, or imagine what it would be like to be in someone else’s shoes, when the situation could never conceivably happen to us?  Empathy requires imagination, you must have the ability to see something that is hidden.  In massage we do this all the time.  We target deeper muscles by visualizing these structures with our knowledge of anatomy and physiology.

HUMILITY

A great massage therapist knows they are not a messiah, a prophet, or God’s gift to humanity.  They are a human who knows how it feels to hurt and seeks to minimize the suffering of others.  Though a massage may feel magical, the therapist knows they are not a sorcerer, their hands are not the reason others heal and they respect the healing process.

Celebrating Humility

People who celebrate humility are the best leaders, they are easier to trust, and they possess an increased ability to critically think, socialize, and gain acceptance. We love being around people with humility because they are willing to listen, explore new ideas and take responsibility when they are wrong.  We tend to forgive people with humility and enjoy spending time with them. The more humility we have the less stressful life becomes.  We begin to appreciate the blessings in the world even when there is no light to be seen. People without humility are quick to make assumptions, they often feel superior to others, and overvalue their self-worth.

How do we develop our humility? 

We must start by looking inwardly to identify our strengths and weaknesses.  This is not an attempt to berate or destroy our confidence; instead, we must assess where we stand in the world.  We may be the main character in our own manuscript, but we are a foot note in most. 

Humility should never be confused with a low-self-esteem.  Those who view themselves through this lens often lack accuracy in their personal assessment.  A humble person is precise and aware of where they stand in the world and understand they are a part of a greater whole. A humble person is curious and open to learning about others and the contributions they have made.

Humble leaders do not crave credit or undermine their team to feel powerful.  They do everything they can to improve and learn from their mistakes.  A humble leader seeks to foster humility in their team by granting praise and celebrating their success.  They see failure as a natural part of the growing process.

Exploring Humility

The world is an insane place and there seems to be no end in sight. It spins us round and round, twisting our gut till we are about to throw up. With the challenge of life, you’d think we’d be more understanding, but people hurt so much they are blinded by their pain.

We get kicked over and over even after being knocked to our knees. When the assault stops we are granted a reprieve, but we must raise our fists for the next beating. With so much strife it becomes hard to fight. It’s difficult to give a pass when we feel like shattered glass.

I know how much it hurts to feel broken, but we cannot close our eyes. If we do, we lose more than magnificent beauty and infinite wonder. We lose our empathy and ability to see. We must hold onto our wisdom and continue to use empathy. The more empathetic and understanding we are, the more forgiving the world will be.

Forgiveness is not Forgetfulness

It’s important to know forgiveness is not forgetfulness.  If someone violates or hurts us, we should protect ourselves by doing what needs to be done, but it must stop there.  Vengeance is a terrible poison that eats wisdom and destroys our soul.  It feeds into the negative cycle of the world and as massage therapists we need to be a part of the solution.  If those words are not enough to guide you away from the bitterness of vengeance, I have something for you to consider.   What kind of life would you be living if the world vowed vengeance on you for every misstep, wrong and crime you committed?  It would be terrible.  The world doesn’t need you to be judge, jury, and executioner, it needs you to spread love, hope, and happiness.

I know how it feels to be in pain, it can be horrible, but making someone else hurt isn’t going to take away your pain, it only worsens it.  At the end of the day, I believe everyone can learn from their mistakes.  When I take a misstep, sometimes I stumble, and if I fall, I hope someone is rooting for me to get back up.  We all make mistakes or commit to decisions that lead to disaster.  We are not a saint, everyone has hurt someone, no one is perfect, so have faith and make the world a better place.

A Lack of Humility Manifests in Many Ways. 

Sometimes as therapists we help so many people, we start thinking we wield the gifts of God.  When I was going through chemotherapy, I met another soul who shared the same trade as you and I.  It was apparent she allowed her ability to overcome her humility.  We can learn from her mistakes by avoiding the hardships self-obsession can cause.

A Personal Story

I was sitting outside of my favorite coffee house enjoying a hot cup of Highlander Grog.  It was a reprieve from the hell I just experienced.  I spent the last two weeks in bed recovering from my last chemotherapy treatment.  The next infusion was around the corner and the thought of it filled me with dread. 

It was chilly outside, and I was bundled up more than most.  The cold air felt frigid against my hairless scalp, so I wrapped my hands around the heated cup.  It felt good even though my fingers were numb.  The day was good, the sun was out, and I was enjoying the time I had to myself.  A cool wind floated against my skin and my teeth began to chatter.  At this point I had enough of the outside air.  I began to rise when a woman stepped outside.  I smiled at her as I began collecting my things.  She walked up to me and asked if I had cancer.  I nodded my head yes.  She looked at my bald head and said, “I can help you.”

I shook my head.  “I’ve got it, I don’t really have much stuff.”   

She raised her hands like she was casting a spell then closed her eyes.  A moment later she opened them and said: “I have healed you.  Now you no longer have cancer, and you can stop your chemotherapy.”  She seemed so happy with herself.

I paused for a moment to think about what she had said.  “What?”

“I’m a massage therapist, I used Reiki to heal you.  All of your cancer is gone.  Now you no longer have to keep getting treatments.”

I blinked my eyes a few times thinking about what she just said.  “Yeah, I think I will have to pass.  I am going to keep on with them, I would very much like to continue living.”  I collected my things and went inside.

Humility is a Guide

Personal boundaries help us navigate the world by erecting walls that may guide us even when we are blind.  When we interact with others we often cannot discern where we are supposed to step or where the road ends.  Humility serves as our guide; it helps us avoid stumbling into walls or falling into traps. 

Sometimes we say and do things because we are afraid, sometimes it is because our heart is hurting so much, we need to desperately help stop the suffering of others.  I am certain this woman meant well, and she believed her divine will was enough to cure my cancerous cells.  In many ways I appreciate her generosity and desire to help me.  She believed she was a healer and her urgency to help allowed her ego to take hold of her actions.  If she had acted with humility, she would have considered the ramifications of her words.  She would have considered the results of her actions and took the time to see the world outside of her limited sphere of influence and understanding.  Her heart would have considered my reality, took it into consideration and weighed the pros and cons of her actions. 

If I chose to accept her healing as truth, maybe it would have transformed my body and helped me heal.  But, what if it didn’t?  Would she have taken responsibility for the direction of my life if I took her advice and died? 

Humility grants us the opportunity to consider the realities of others.  It reminds us that we are still human, that we can make mistakes, and are prone to great errors in judgement.  As a massage therapist it is easy to get caught up in the praise.  The transformative benefits of presence, intent and touch can feel miraculous, but it is important to remember that our hands were not forged from the divine.  We are not an angel, the Messiah, or God’s gift to mankind.  

Using Humility to Judge Others

No matter how much we know, we have something to learn. 

We are not experts in all things, we are imperfect, and make mistakes.  Humility keeps us connected to our humanity by reminding us that others aren’t here to hurt us.

“Dishonest scales are an abomination to the Lord, but an accurate weight is His delight.  When pride comes, disgrace follows, but with humility comes wisdom.” Proverbs 11:1,2

Sometimes we feel demolished by the actions of others.  We convince ourselves they are nibbling and gnawing at our soul. Within this maw of misery, we isolate ourselves in the shadows of bleakness, victimize our spirit and refuse to see the beauty in all things.  When our world is filled with darkness nothing else matters except our leafless tree, separated from its island of peace, floating about in the scary sea.  We feel alone, and lost, and the harsh ebb and flow of the waves render us weary, and we lose the ability to bestow positivity.

The world feels unfair, and we begin to overreact, we set unreasonable terms, and tear at our own flesh to hurt others.  We are the first to lay blame as our fingers point and paint an impossible image that further isolates us.  Our anger becomes hatred, and we vow vengeance.  As we continue to turn against humility, we embrace our arrogance.  We over inflate our achievements and seek to replenish our spirit with the immense pleasure of old accomplishments.  These successes satiate our soul for a second, but the hunger grows, and we need more.  Pride is a poison; it warps our sight and leads to suffering.  It begins as a subtle fire in a stack of old leaves and twigs, and as we fan the flame it roars into a conflagration that burns our forest to the ground.

Our Spirit Needs to Eat

Our spirit needs to eat, it must be given a healthy diet of hope, but when we give it a plate of pride it becomes a predator.  Our Mogwai loses its fur, and its skin hardens into scales, transforming into a gruesome gremlin.  It becomes addicted to the immense pleasure of personal accomplishment.  This drive will weigh the scales against everyone, by pushing us to punish others for seemingly insignificant slights and spreading suffering.  The pain we choose to impose on others is without purpose and they are left to burn in the forge of sorrow until we let them go. 

Everyone makes mistakes, and no one is perfect. 

Humility helps us hold ourselves to the same standard we condemn others with.  It asks us if we could have made a better decision.  This powerful force reminds us that hindsight is 20/20, that it is wrong to judge someone’s character by the sum of a few seconds, and we must always be willing to forgive.

Humility Keeps our Third Eye Open

Humility keeps our third eye open and healthy; it helps us remain wise and reminds us that pride leads to arrogance, hatred, and vengeance.  It helps us maintain harmony in our life, frees our soul and allows us to treat others fairly.  It encourages us to help the world embrace the wonder of the world and to be open to love.

“Love is patient and kind, love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant.”  Corinthians 13:4.

If we expect to make our way in the massage industry, we must live with love.  We must be humble and willing to forgive.  The moment we fail to see we are equally bumbling through this existence as everyone else, we damn ourselves to the fate of drowning in the river Styx.  We must not allow hatred, arrogance, and vengeance to eat our life, and purpose. 

Our industry is suffering because humility is absent in our personal life, career, and professional philosophy.  Walking our road is akin to the Greek afterlife.  Our life ends the moment we begin investing in the service of others.  The second we graduate from school we are sent off to another world, where we discover it is far colder than we were told.  A swampy, hellish river blocks our path, and we must have a coin to pay the ferryman to continue our quest.  The coin is the divine gift of humility.  If we have earned it in the life before, we can use it to pay Charon, and avoid a century of purgatory, or suffering through the hellish waters of the river Styx.  Do we possess the strength to be in line with the divine, or do we jump into the water and swim with pride, arrogance, and hatred?  We must make a choice.

The river Styx is the meat grinder of massage, and it is filled with every soul who has lost their way.  Only those with humility, empathy and creativity are able to pull themselves from the water, crawl through the rocky beach and gaze lovingly toward the blessed isles beyond the sea.

It doesn’t matter if you are a Christian, if you believe God revealed himself before Moses on Mount Sinai, if you worship God, or any god.  Humility reveals to us that there is a greater truth we are not capable of understanding, because we are mortal creatures in a pool of billions. We can only know so much, do some much and be responsible for so much. 

Sometimes reading scripture, and holy texts of any religion can be a jarring experience.  We often push against them because these are things we cannot see.  Perhaps we were hurt by someone who devoted themselves to the extreme of a particular ideology.  Maybe all of it seems silly, and certainly there isn’t anything to learn from someone’s writing from thousands of years ago.  These thoughts and feelings are arrogant and prideful.  We can learn from any source, no matter how silly, archaic, or ancient it may be.  We can gleam knowledge and wisdom from everyone, whether it is from a child, a dead man, or a dying addict in an alleyway. 

As massage therapists we must have our eyes open, so our third eye can see.  When we choose blindness over wisdom we will stumble into every wall and fall into every trap.

We spend so much time extinguishing our beliefs toward things we cannot see that we lose sight of their meaning.  Why do we believe?  It anchors us to our reality, grants us purpose and fuels our passion.  With belief we can achieve harmony, look inwardly, and set our spirit free.  Belief can do many things, and it is not limited to tranquility. 

It is ok to assume the beliefs of others are absurd, wrong, or even immoral.  You have the right to cast judgements towards others.  Judgement is an important component to survival, but when we allow our pride, arrogance, and vengeance to replace our humility we miss golden opportunities to learn from the wisdom of others.

We all worship something.  We don’t have to believe in God to be a good person, not all gods are good, and not all ideas are great.  Sometimes we venerate an idea above all things, and this can be wonderful.  I have known many atheists who love life, celebrate humanity, and believe every second is sacred, because we only have one to live, and when it is gone, it is gone forever.  I do not elevate myself above them, because there is peace in their words.  They have wisdom in their heart I do not have, and I want to listen to the knowledge they have to offer.

Sometimes in the absence of a formalized deity people gravitate toward the god of fear, self-obsession, and arrogance.  This god doesn’t really have a name, but it does have a religion.  The religion oddly can be found in all religions because the idea is so primal, it is our bestial nature to survive at all costs.  When we worship this god, it pushes us to place our needs before all others.  It tells us we are the most wise, skilled, and knowledgeable.  It values time over quality, and strips others of their harmony, rights, and quality of life.  Though our instincts press us to survive there is a greater meaning to our existence than enduring more years.  When we worship fear, it gums up our gears and makes reality unclear.  It steals away our sails leaving us to drift in an empty sea.  Embracing the deity of fear enslaves our spirit and infects others with suffering, by steering us toward self-obsession, arrogance, and pride.