What is cross chatter? Cross chatter is the act of talking to another therapist’s client in a couple’s massage. It is a form of Wong that disrupts the atmosphere of the massage, increases tensions between staff, and reduces the overall experience for clientele. As a massage therapist we must refrain from cross chatter throughout a session.
What are some instances when cross chatter is acceptable?
- If the client is in danger
- The other therapist is doing, or saying something that is unethical, dangerous or poorly represents the spa.
Sometimes massage therapists get bored and want to talk, this happens, but as professionals we must possess the ability to read the room. Does the client want to talk, and more specifically do they want to talk to you? Just because the other therapist is having an interesting conversation doesn’t give you permission jump in.
Therapists often engage in cross chatter because they slip out of their professional role. Other times they enter the conversation because the subject matter pertains to something they are passionate about. Either way it is a Wong and it is selfish.
The conversation another therapist is having with their client is their conversation. Stay out of it. If they want, they will invite you in.
How will you know when they have invited you in?
They will speak to you directly. When they do this addresses them politely and professionally. Avoid slipping into the trap of assuming they want to have a long, drawn-out conversation with you. As you are speaking be disciplined, self-aware, and focused on your own client. The more a therapist engages with the experience of another therapist’s client the less connected they will be with their own.
Ultimately, they need to feel like the conversation is on their terms. They are supposed to be the center of attention and they cannot explore their expedition of pleasure if you incessantly blab at them. As service providers we are being paid to perform a service. We need to respect that; it is our job to provide them with an experience that improves their quality of life. How are we enhancing their existence if we are placing our selfish desires to speak before their wants?
Even though they have invited you shouldn’t stay long. It is great to have guests, but eventually the party must come to an end. It is our responsibility as professionals to identify when to exit a conversation. If they continue to invite us back then we can stay, but we must continue to find organic ways to draw the conversation to a close.
If the other therapist invites you in feel free to engage. However, you still need to be searching for a way out. As guests we need to possess the ability to identify when we are no longer welcome.
What is the difference between cross chatter and chit chat?
Cross chatter occurs when you talk to another therapist’s client. Chit chat is when you talk to your own. It is easier to regulate a conversation with your own client because you are in tune with the ebb and flow of the session. Cross chatter tends to disrupt the flow and pleasure of another therapist’s client because you are blind to where the other therapist may be in their session.
Chit chat can also go too far, but with self-discipline, empathy, and humility you will have the skills necessary to bow out at the right time.
Ways to communicate within a massage
There are various ways to communicate throughout a massage without speaking directly to another therapist. If in a couples massage, you believe the other therapist has spoken too much the sign we use to get them to quiet down is to raise your index finger into the air and make circular movements like a whirlwind. This hand gesture is meant to signify: “wrap it up.”
