Live Life and Feel Love with Ambient Awareness

Ambient Awareness is a massage modality, philosophy, and guide to create, enforce, and maintain effective personal boundaries.  The terms used are symbolic gestures to encourage the practitioner to explore how they interpret reality, to achieve harmony, and live a rewarding life.  In massage we can only give what we have.  If all we possess is bitterness it is all we can offer.  We must invest in hope, happiness, and peace if we seek to instill the same in others.

How old must you be to celebrate the divine light of life. When in your existence will you muster the might to make the most of your moments. When will you witness the wonder of every sensational second. When will you see that you have everything you need to become the person of your dreams?

In the world of massage, we need to be surrounded by love, life, and delightful things. Sometimes we need a shoulder to lean on, a place to rediscover peace, and ease our weary woes. Many facilities boil and burn like battery acid, they eat away at our insides until our spirit weakens and our smiles slip away. This isn’t ok. As a massage therapist you should love helping people every day. You should feel your spirit rise into the sky as you fly toward the heavens above. Every moment at your spa should feel like you are wearing a perfectly fitted glove made of love.

Your leaders should inspire you. Their presence should lighten your load and encourage you to float. You should be working for a clinic because you adore the team, enjoy the tranquility, and feel free. As massage therapists we must ‘want’ to stay because it is our perfect place of peace, the career of our dreams, and the team that helps us feel complete.

At Jennifer Brand we offer these delightful things, but you don’t have to be a part of our team to feel welcome. You can join us as a professional peer. We will teach you things for free because it is what our professionals need. We will mentor you when your heart feels too weak to beat and rebuild your spirit so you may once again fly high into the sky.

We love massage and the wellness professionals who give their heart to help others. If you are an LMT who needs guidance, positive vibes, or some time to simply talk, feel free to reach out.

Ambient Awareness

Ambient Awareness is the application of our personal boundaries and introspective discoveries.  It guides us through our interactions with others and determines our quality of touch.  It is a passive application of energy, or intent, that harnesses our personal power, encourages us to focus inwardly, and guides us to live with love.

Recycling Energy In Life

In massage we can only give what we have.  If we live a life of bitterness will constantly encourage others to feel bad.  Clearly, we cannot flip a switch and turn off our sadness like a lamp, but we can transform how we witness and interpret reality.  As massage therapists we feel the energy of our clients and they feel ours through transference and countertransference.  It is our responsibility to manage the energy we give and transform what we receive.  If you have ever performed a massage on someone who is angry, or hateful you know how difficult it can be to remain focused on giving loving intent.  Managing this energy is challenging and it never gets easier.  Life never gets easier; we simply develop the tools to navigate our challenges more effectively.

Recycling the energy of our massages is another tool we can use to overcome our obstacles.  In massage school we talk a lot about transference and countertransference, but very time is used on managing it.  There is good reason for this, it is a complex concept that is easy to describe in generalities, but nearly impossible to flesh out in the abstract. 

What is Recycling Energy?  To sum up this philosophy it is the act of listening, being present, internalizing, processing, and filtering the actions, statements, and vibes of others through the filter of love.  It is a lifestyle alteration that must be practiced throughout every moment of the day.  If we do not recycle the energy of our daily social interactions, we will not have the ability to implement it in our massages.  It is a skill that requires active participation.  We have to live it, if we are a tourist, we will never truly understand the experience of living in this state of mind.  Recycling Energy is the application of HOW we apply our boundaries with others.

Throughout this book we will talk a lot about personal boundaries.  They are essential in any massage practice, and our lives.  Incomplete mantras and self-help books talk a big game about creating personal boundaries, but they fail to guide you through their process.  They say, “Just do this, and it will work.”

Recycling Energy is a personal exploration, we have to get to know ourselves if we want to recycle the energy of others.  Take yourself out on a date, grab a coffee, read a book, sit under a tree, and take some time to get to know yourself.  Even though we live in a self-obsessive society few people have a relationship with themselves.  You must first learn how to recycle the energy within yourself before you can accept others with love and honesty.

Application

“Every massage must be written within our mind’s eye and explored in the second”

An amazing massage is captivating, it is a fairy tale, and a beautiful ballad.  It is a magical adventure set within a dreamland paradise.  Every second should be supercharged with good intent, love, and kindness.  It must be vibrant, fun, and energizing.  We must be present, aware, and invested in every moment of the massage.   

All of these words are great in the abstract, but how do we apply them?  The simplest answer is summed up through the application of creativity, humility, and empathy.  Every massage must be written within our mind’s eye and explored in the second.  It is a masterfully crafted painting, a captivating story, and the greatest sculpture ever made.  If we are to achieve the greatest degree of touch quality we must feed into our imagination, explore our creativity, and cultivate our artistic ability.

Our Spirit Palace

Our spirit lives inside a palace of our own design, we built it from the sticks and branches that fell from the tree of life.  Inside we have furniture made from its leaves, acorns, and pine needles.  It is a warm and cozy place and when we feel alone, we invite others to share our home.  Sometimes these guests stay beyond their welcome, they bring in their things and our home begins to stink.  Some make changes, break down walls and even burn it to the ground.  This happens to all of us at one point or another, especially when someone breaks our boundaries. 

We must have walls around our palace to protect our home from those who might hurt us.  Towers must be erected to see far and wide, soldiers must be conscripted to defend our borders and we must be willing to fight. 

When someone violates our haven, we tend to barricade ourselves within our palace walls.  We want to lock the gate and sleep away the day.  This is a slippery slope and terrible way to cope.  No matter how many people hurt us, we cannot let go of the good.  We have to continue investing in the potential of people.  This is hard, especially when empathy has failed us, but there are better ways to live life than in a prison of our own design.

“Would you like to have healthier relationships, a more peaceful existence, and a higher quality of life? Well look no further, all the answers you need are right here!”

We’ve come accustomed to hearing this claim from life coaches, MLMs and late-night TV.  Every one of them want to sell us the secret to a better life, unfortunately they too have no clue.

Instead of spending money on tips and tricks, invest in yourself.  Search inwardly to see how you hurt to prevent others from hurting you.  Use this knowledge to establish and enforce your personal boundaries and achieve the life you’ve always wanted.

Our personal boundaries are our palace walls.  When we have healthy boundaries it improves our relationships, protects against predators, and allows us to safely practice massage.

Establishing our Personal & Professional Boundaries 

It happens on the snowiest day of our life, at a time when the road is slick and covered in ice.  It is a moment when we are moving at an unsafe speed and we lose control, time slows, and we are granted the divine insight that if we tap our breaks, we can steer the slide and avoid crashing into an embankment.  It is a moment when our mind unlocks, and our third eye is no longer blind.  In this second, we can actually see our reality and are given the opportunity to make our lives what we want it to be.  We can build walls around our palace, and towers far and wide, we can even recruit soldiers who are willing to fight. 

Experiencing a long-lasting friendship can be incredible.  It feels great having someone in our corner, especially when we’re confident they’ll be there forever.  It can be a beautiful experience to fall in love and explore life with someone.

Sometimes it is not so wonderful. Some people don’t want to be a part of the construction crew and build something new.  They are content with jumping the wall and doing as they please.  Others are life-long friends who we accidentally cast a blind eye toward, by allowing them to do something we would never tolerate with new friends.

Professional relationships are even trickier.  As massage therapists we encounter all sorts of circumstances that are challenging to navigate. 

In every moment is an opportunity to learn something new. Every day is a class that teaches us a tool because life is a school. But the courses are crazy, and the teachers are mute, the quizzes are cryptic, and we aren’t given any clues. It is a strange program that is messy and amazing, and equally filled with facts and untruths. We are career students pursuing an education in the field of existence, and the only way to graduate with honors is by living with love and offering the goodness of truth.

Relationship Bridges

The key to all relationships is to build bridges from one person’s palace walls to yours.  You can invite them into your palace as a guest, but they can’t stay.  Each time you meet they must cross the bridge and obey the road signs.  If they break the rules their entry is denied. 

Every relationship bridge has different rules.  The rules your significant other follows are much different than those you’ve set with your mother, father, or friend.  In your personal life these boundaries are more difficult to define, but in the professional world they are clear cut laws.          

Every bridge requires upkeep and understanding and must be built from a foundation of empathy and respect.  Everyone in the world is an island and these bridges connect us.  The stronger we build and upkeep them the less likely they are to crumble or burn.

In relationships we must maintain a vigilant eye on all the moving parts.  Our primary focus should be our palace, because the most important relationship we have is with ourselves.  Are we doing everything we can to live the highest quality of life, are we chasing our dreams, are we living our purpose, and are we taking care of our body? 

We must know our wants and desires.  Think about the existence you want to live and build boundaries to prevent others from pulling the carpet out from under your feet.

A vigilant eye will help us thrive, but other times we have to use it to simply survive.  In the path of life, we sometimes encounter people who escape definition, they seem so monstrous our ability to empathize fails, and once again we feel lost.  This kind of creature swims through the waters of life like a hungry shark hunting wayward spirits.  Sometimes they sink their teeth into anyone they can bite, but most seek to eat a special kind of treat.  The worst monsters we can meet prowl the most vulnerable and desperate.  They take the bad and boil it down until their victim’s experience only a hellish frown.  They lie, cheat, steal and destroy for their own pleasure, often with little gain.  They slice and stab their victim’s skin with their razor-sharp teeth, while smiling with a sadistic grin.  These boundary breakers find their way to our lives, pick and pluck like a buzzard’s beak seeking to snip away our ability to see.

What do we do when we meet Boundary Breakers? 

We stand our ground, remain rigid and strong and never allow these monsters to infect us with their message of wrong.  It will hurt, this I know, but it is how these things must go.  If we fail to keep them away from our palace walls they will smash, poison, and consume until our haven is in ruins.

In Life Our Boundaries are not the Same for Everyone

When I was going through chemotherapy I was prohibited from hugging people.  My immune system was so weak it was too risky to touch anyone.  I had to be extremely careful about who and what I interacted with.  The chemotherapy made me feel like death, so there was no way I was going to risk my life for a hug or a handshake.

I was coupled at the time and though I was told not to touch, there was no way I would deny myself love.  Her hugs, kisses and the occasional massage were the only exceptions.

The Tale of Tello

One day I was standing in line waiting to buy a delicious liquid refreshment at Picassos my favorite coffee house.  I was chatting it up with a young man named Tello when a close friend of mine walked through the door.  Immediately my friend wanted to give me a hug, but I had to quickly refuse and inform them I can no longer hug people.

Tello took this as a challenge.  He said, “I’m going to give you a hug.”

I turned to him and with a stern voice commanded him not to touch me.

Strangely Tello ignored my demand and continued forward to embrace me.  I was filled with a cocktail of anger and fear, my survival mechanism kicked in and I yelled. “If you try to hug me I am going to knock you to the floor!”  I meant it.  Though I hurt all over there was no way I was going to let him touch me without consequence.

His eyes locked with mine and his urgency slowed to a halt.

“If you ever try to touch me without permission, I will hurt you.” I warned Tello.

Thank goodness he saw the seriousness of my threat and restrained himself. 

In a loving relationship our boundaries can be a gentle hand, encouraging words, even a stern look.  We can secure our walls without weaponizing them.  In most situations we don’t have to aggressively enforce our boundaries like I did with Tello.

In all situations we need to slow the world down with a little empathy.  We need to take a moment to imagine what their intent was when they crossed your boundary.  Were they trying to hurt and take advantage of you or was this a misunderstanding?  Whatever the answer is we must make it clear to them they crossed the line.

Sometimes there are firm rules in life we must follow 

In the instance of Tello I could not let him touch me.  In the professional world, especially in massage there are firm laws as well.  Touching is one of them.  A client should never touch you during a massage.  Though this is a firm rule, it doesn’t always require the same firmness I used with Tello.  Sometimes the client’s hand falls off the table and it touches you because they were asleep, in these instances they are benign, but when they willfully reach out to touch you in a way that is inappropriate you must enforce your boundaries. 

Empathy is essential when establishing and enforcing our boundaries

When we use the word empathy, we are referring to intellectual empathy.  What does that mean?

“Understanding the need to imaginatively put oneself in the place of others to genuinely understand them… It correlates with the ability to accurately reconstruct the viewpoints and reasoning of others and to reason from premises, assumptions, and ideas other than our own. This trait also requires that we remember occasions when we were wrong, despite an intense conviction that we were right, and consider that we might be similarly deceived in a case at hand.” (Paul, Richard, and A. J. A. Binker. Critical Thinking: What Every Person Needs to Survive in a Rapidly Changing World. Foundation for Critical Thinking, 2012.)

A challenging but useful exercise is to imagine yourself as someone else 

Let your eyes find someone nearby, look at their shoes.  Imagine what it would feel to be wearing those right now.  How do you think they would feel?  Now think about someone you know, perhaps one who’s hurt your feelings recently.  Ignore your feelings and imagine being them.  What do you think they were feeling when they hurt you?  Why do think they were feeling this?  What are some other emotions they could have been experiencing?  Take a moment to reevaluate the circumstance, applying their feelings to each to see if your opinion of the encounter changes.  Did it change, if not, why, and in the future what can you do to prevent them from breaking the boundary that hurt your feelings?

We are going to do an exercise, first I want you to write down the premise they were acting from when the event occurred.  Next, what assumptions might they have been operating from and finally what do you think their thoughts, opinions and plans were?

Intellectual empathy is an effective critical thinking tool 

When implemented correctly it serves as a valuable resource to establish and enforce personal boundaries. It also helps us identify the walls of others. With this information we improve our ability to treat others fairly while encouraging them to do the same.

Ernest the Life Coach

Sitting beside my friend Ernest we chatted the lazy morning away.  We were in old town Saint Charles enjoying a delicious coffee.  Little birds scurried along begging for breadcrumbs, and golden rays slipped through the fluffy cloud blankets, creating kaleidoscope lightshows in the street.

Beside me was Ernest, he had a lean build halfway between a runner and a weekend warrior.  His intensely bored eyes stared into the distance.  He was tense and taut as a bow. “What did you think about the book I suggested?” He asked.

Watching the steam rise from my cup of coffee I placed my hand over the delightful heat of the freshly brewed deliciousness.  Raising my eyes to his. “Oh yeah, the Mind over Matter, You Are the Placebo book?  It was boring with very little substance.”

Crossing his arms, Ernest’s face reddened as his brow furrowed.

I took a deep breath and continued speaking. “It was like four-hundred pages of pseudoscience garbage.  I get what the intent of the book is, but it’s the kind of message that can lead seriously ill people astray.”

Ernest shifted in his seat, his body movements sharpened, and began to speak.  “I can’t f***ing stand people like you.  How can you just discount and dismiss what you read?”  His words boiled with anger.

My eyebrow raised, I assumed he took my review as a criticism of him.  I was kind of weirded out by his reaction.  To ease the discomfort of the scene I raised the mug to my lips and took a sip; it was my favorite, highlander grog.  Thankfully it had cooled enough for me to enjoy its exquisite flavor.

I looked at him, then back at the birds and the dark river in the distance.  It took a few minutes of silence for his agitation to subside.  As the air cleared his grimace lowered and his arms uncrossed.

“You know I could’ve charged you when we first met?” He said with a stern face. “But I value our time too much, so I didn’t…” Slowly he twisted his face into a half smile.  “…and I know you need our meetings.”

I shrugged and took a sip of my coffee. “I wouldn’t have hired you, so it wouldn’t have mattered.”

His half smile curled into a full fake smile.

Watching his reaction, I continued. “I’m sorry… I don’t pay for advice, or for people to be my friend.”  I said holding my hands on the sides of my warm mug.

A few moments passed.  Ernest stretched out his leg and sat back in his chair.  The pallor of his face started to redden again as he pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes. “So, what’s up, how are things?”

“Eh, pretty rough, recovering from chemotherapy has been slow and hard.”

He stared off into space then back at me. “You know, the only reason you haven’t recovered is because you choose to stay sick, right?”

“Excuse me?” I could feel a warm anger in my stomach.

“You’re choosing to be sick.  As soon as you want to get better you will.”  He paused for a moment. “That’s what Joe Dispenza is talking about right?  This is all mind over matter.”

“That’s not how it works, that’s not how chemotherapy or cancer works.” I was getting angry, but I was doing my best to remain calm.

“That is how it works; if you tell your cells what to do they heal.  If you choose to be sick, you stay sick. You have chosen to stay sick.  Right?  It is your decision; all of this is your decision. You’ve chosen to stay sick, just like you chose to get cancer.” His tone grated on my soul, like being stabbed by the splintered uneven edge of a broken spear.

My blood began to boil.  How could he believe this garbage?  No one chooses to get cancer; no one wants to be sick.

He continued to explain. “I only get sick when I want to.  I’ve been telling my wife and daughter this a long time. To prove it I told my wife I was choosing to get sick, and I got sick.  She used to have headaches all the time, now I’ve taught her how to choose not to have them, she doesn’t get them anymore.  My daughter doesn’t listen though; she’s stuck like you and won’t accept she is in control of her health.”  Ernest’s smile and eyes became wide for a moment before continuing. “You are the placebo, if you want it hard enough, you can have anything you want.” He paused for a moment and looked at his phone. “I have an appointment, give me a hug brother, I’ll see you next week.”

I don’t like to see bridges burned, but I do like see boundaries enforced. To have a relationship with someone we must build a bridge from our palace to theirs.  It requires upkeep and understanding built from a foundation of empathy and respect.  That day he was in the business of setting fires. There are certain things we don’t burn, just like there are certain things we don’t say.  It felt like he was in the mood to set my palace on fire, so I turned him toward the bridge.  He started by melting and discarding all his understanding, then set flame to empathy, and at the very end, once the bridge began to crumble my respect for him was gone.  I could have stopped the conversation, told him how offensive his statements were, but why put out a flame when the arsonist is just going to set it ablaze again?

What is this book he was referring to?  It’s called: You are the Placebo, by Joe Dispenza, he shared how he willed his vertebrae to regenerate after being crushed.  Was there any evidence?  His followers claim things like x-rays and documentation aren’t needed to prove their prophet’s powers.

How did he heal his bones?  Dispenza claims it happened because he chose to become the placebo.  In his words “The key is making your inner thoughts more real than the outer environment, because then the brain won’t know the difference between the two and will change to look as if the event has taken place. If you’re able to do this successfully enough times, you’ll transform your body and begin to signal new genes in new ways, producing epigenetic changes—just as though the imagined future event were real. And then you can walk right into that new reality and become the placebo.” http://www.youaretheplacebo.com/book-synopsis/

I have no clue what that meant, and I am sure he didn’t either.  This is a common trait of followers and practitioners of pseudo-medicine; they love stringing together long unintelligible sentences.

Can we use the placebo effect to heal our body?  Harriet Hall, MD wrote: “Placebos are widely misunderstood. They don’t have any objective healing powers.  Placebos have never been shown to change the course of any kind of illness; they have only been shown to temporarily improve subjective complaints like pain and nausea.” https://web.randi.org/swift/ask-the-skeptdoc-pancreas-miracle-and-dispenzas-thought-healing

Many life coaches and gurus speak about systems and methods to achieve a prosperous life.  Don’t feel bad when they don’t work for you, most likely they don’t work at all.  These people make a living by pretending to be your friend and selling you advice.  If a trained psychologist or psychiatrist can’t heal you, how can this self-appointed life coach?

Hiring someone specialized in your field or need may be helpful or entertaining, but it is important to evaluate their qualifications.  Sometimes life coaches and guides can be great.  For example, in business a consultant can provide an outside eye to see problems you are unaware of; a style coach might be able to assist you in creating a brand, to find a partner or to have confidence; a mentor in the massage industry can help you see the light when you feel surrounded by darkness; and a health coach may help you live your highest quality of life.

Unfortunately, there are far more snakes than there are saints.  The serpents claim to have insight or abilities that are simply untrue, these are charlatans selling snake oil.  They have no genuine interest in helping you, their primary motivation is to take your money.  Others may believe they have the capacity to transform your life, but most will do more harm than good.  Setting effective personal boundaries will help you find the sliver of coaches who are qualified, capable, and interested in helping you achieving your goals.

Surround yourself with the Feather you want to be

Life coaches and gurus often say you should surround yourself with wealthy and successful people. They teach their clients to ride tailcoats and manufacture friendships.  Hanging out with wealthy people will not make you wealthy, unless of course they give you, their money.  Instead of paying people to be your friend, riding tailcoats, or using others, just try to get to know people and make friends.  Look for people with common interests, goals and values then take some time to share ideas. 

Fake people suck, and everyone knows it, the more artificial you are the more awful you become. 

Surround yourself with the feather you want to be.  This means spending time with good-willed, loving people who live with peace in their heart. The right people are the ones who encourage us to achieve our dreams and to live with purpose.  They are passionate, confident and want to leave the world better than how they found it.

The Monsters of the Night

Watch out for the monsters lurking in the shadows.  Be wary of those who whisper secret remedies able to cure your maladies.  Remember good intentions spoken by sweet people can be poison.  They may wish love, health, and happiness, but if they have been bitten by the snake and poisoned with its oil, they will harm you.

Charlatans love the sick and vulnerable.  This is most evident with people suffering the horrible hell of cancer and other terrible maladies.  These poor souls are often targeted by MLMs, charlatans and con artists.  Sometimes massage therapists fall into this category as well and spread unproven and often dangerous ideas that negatively influence the outcome of others. 

If you had a serious illness, would you want to be bombarded with expensive, unproven methods claiming to cure or control your disease? When faced with the cold hard truth you want what works.  Whatever you choose, make sure it works for you.

Sometimes we meet monsters of spirit and word.  These abusers are thieves plotting to steal what we need. They feed us spoonful’s of lies to veil their taking as giving. Their agenda is to weaken our walls with the goal to gain access to our soul.

Ordinarily life is hard. When we get sick or injured it gets even more difficult. There are people in the world like Ernest the life coach who teach people their pain is their fault. They instruct us that our anger is the reason we are ill and if we wanted to heal, we would.  These ideas are the monsters I speak of.  Ernest meant well with what he was saying.  I believe he genuinely believed he was helping me, but he lacked the humility and wisdom to explore his own ideas.   

Anger and heart break are healthy feelings. They help us cope with change and trauma. Without exploring anger, we would never be able to grieve anyone or anything we’ve lost.

Not all monstrous ideas are as formulaic as the ones he was trying to sell.

When I was going through chemotherapy, I was told I shouldn’t be angry, sad, or fearful. I needed to express my feelings but there was nowhere to place them. Every time I tried someone would tell me I was wrong for feeling these negative emotions.

In my last month of treatment, I attended a group meeting at the Cancer Support Community. It was everything I needed. I was surrounded by so many insightful, loving, and enduring souls. They were the first to give me permission to feel what I felt. As a result, the emotional acid of my heart stopped burning my insides, and my hurt began to pour out. Over time the hurt healed, and I relearned to live.

It’s hard to give yourself permission to feel when we have people like Ernest and others spitting ignorance into our eyes.  It blinds our sight and steals our ability to see.  The labyrinth is impossible to escape when we believe we should never explore or express our anger, or when we are told our only emotions are love and fear. Having an Ernest in our life is like trying to create a campfire as someone continually dowses our flame with dirt.

In Life Everything has a Price

Every choice we make has a price, from the softest simplest decision to actions of incredible magnitude.  In my cancer journey the prices were inflated, no matter what we do, we will feel a great amount of agony.  Although we can’t escape the anguish, we can influence how much pain we are willing to pay to live.  If you have never faced the big decisions of life and death, treatment, or no treatment these concepts are truly impossible to understand.  You may be able to fantasize about what you would or wouldn’t do, but that’s all they are, fantasies.  I hope you never have to face the cold air of cancer to discover what you would do.

Let’s dial it back a notch and imagine a simpler, easier place.  Imagine laying on your comfortable bed, as you stretch and sprawl out you hear a soft pop.  Now there is some slack in the fitted sheet beneath you because it has come loose from the corner.  You lay there for a moment, you could get up and remake the bed and sure it might make the experience more comfortable, but you are going to lose the comfort you currently have.  If it is a chilly morning you are guaranteed to experience the cold air outside your comfortable cocoon.  In a lot of ways this is how cancer is, it sucks that the bed is slowly unraveling, however if you try and fix it, you are guaranteed to lose something you currently have.

I love the warmth of my bed in the morning, feeling those soft, clean linens around my body feels fantastic.  Poking my foot into the cold air, then slowly sliding it under the warm blanket is such a magical sensation.  This comparison reminds me of the first day I started coughing up blood.  I was nestled in my bed, comfortably relaxing within my blanket burrito.  The comfort slowly slipped away as I started coughing and hacking.  Though I knew something bad was happening, I dreaded to see exactly what.  My reluctance to reach into the cold air outside my cocoon has paralleled many terrifying moments of my cancer journey.  There is peace not knowing, but it comes with a price.  Eventually a time comes when we are forced to face our misfortune and taste its terrible consequences.

When the time comes for you to consider moving from your perfect pocket of warmth, ask yourself a few questions.  What is the goal, what will you gain from this, what will it cost, and will it be worth the sacrifice?  In the journey of life, we all have a price to pay, that price isn’t in money, it is in pain.  How much pain are you willing to pay to live?

When we get up to fix the sheets it comes with a fair amount of discomfort. We must give some to get some. With cancer it is much harsher, you must give a lot to maybe get a lot. It is a gamble, the bed you make might not be the one you want to sleep in. Whatever you decide it is your choice, no one else can or should make it for you. When everything is said and done, you suffer with the consequences of your action or inaction. Whichever decision you make it comes with a hefty price, and when it comes to cancer there are no small prices to pay.

Listen to your Dreams

The dark dream was set in my home. A terrible rain roared above, like a waterfall thick droplet soaked my roof. There was so much water the house couldn’t keep up and so it began to pour into the attic and drip through the ceiling.  The floor was covered in water and my basement was flooding.  Everything was falling apart and no matter how much I worked to save my house it continued to fill.

This was a nightmare I had years ago.  My sleepy time tunes should have been terrific, instead they were terrifying.  My nighttime slumber land was wracked with terrible feels and dream sights.

I can remember feeling like no matter what I did, no matter what changes I made, the effects of the water would remain.  There were moments when I was outside my house looking in. I was both inside and outside at the same time. My outside-self watched as I fought the torrential downpour as it obliterated my home. As I watched I considered my options, I could let the rain do its thing and then reenter the home like nothing happened, or I could cut out the bad parts and treat the remaining wood with chemicals.

I was afraid of cutting it up and spraying it with chemicals, because I wasn’t sure if I could handle that stress. Could I walk away from the home? Maybe instead I could just do nothing and let nature take its course?  I knew with this kind of damage there was no way I could permanently fix it.  I didn’t want to leave my home, yet at the same time I didn’t want to continuously struggle to fix it.  It’s a daunting task, especially when it’s destined to be destroyed. My home would be uncomfortable to live in with the warped floors and wet ceilings, but that life would be better than to have it cut up and gutted.

Sometimes our dreams process our fears and thoughts.

Our dreams grant us the opportunity to explore our world in another way. It’s a time when we can see our life with the insight of our sleepy time eyes. This nightmare reflected the cold air outside of my blanket. I had just completed chemotherapy, the harm it had done was horrible and I was afraid of enduring it again.

The symbols in the dream were obvious, even within the first few minutes of waking up I knew what they represented. The water was the cancer, and my home was my body.  The dream was a conversation with myself, a dialogue between the deepest depths of my inside zones and the outer layers of my personality.  It was an internal conversation and contract I made with myself to never again endure the horror of chemotherapy.

Make the right decisions for you

It all comes down to making the right decisions for yourself. We all must decide how much we are willing to endure. At what point are you done dealing with the hell of hardship? Is there a point when you call it quits and when you reach that point, what will you do?

No matter what you decide, select your options with considerable thought.  How will you feel afterwards?  What are you giving up?  How much life do you need to have the experiences you want, and who’s wants are you following?

These are questions we must ask ourselves when facing any big decision.  I had to explore these ideas when confronting Ino, Ernest and every relationship I’ve had in my life.  If you take the time to explore them, you can increase the likelihood you make the right decisions to avoid strife.

Pseudoscience

Our industry is rife with pseudoscience and mythology.  Exploring the mystical components of our trade is wonderful, but the delightfulness ends when we begin guiding others away from their ability to advocate for themselves. 

Ernest the Life coach was not a massage therapist, but his message is a great example of how we can accidently victimize vulnerable people with misleading ideas.  Ultimately it is up to the individual to be responsible for the actions they take in life, but we can minimize the harm by fighting against the most pervasive myths of massage.

Relationship Boundaries

Our heart sometimes burns brilliantly. It hits us with a furious fire that eats away all the debris from our day. Each lick of the flame makes our heart shutter with searing pain as we are reminded, we can feel fantastic and whole.

These sensations are scary, and they make us weary of the world. How can these feelings be real when the air is so cold?

They make us pull away, as we become afraid of the fear that might visit us on future days.

All things are fleeting and every second slips through our hands like grains of sand. Everything ends, this is inevitable, but it doesn’t mean we need to fear its eventual pain. Life is an adventure, and it needs to be soaked up like a sponge.

So, when it presents you with an incredible opportunity, we need to take the plunge. We only have so many seconds, shoot for the stars by celebrating them with someone you believe is sensational.

The value of every relationship can be determined by weighing it against the feather of truth. Ancient Egyptians believed that upon death our heart was placed upon a scale. At this moment Anubis watched to witness if it was heavier than a tall ostrich plume. Those who were heavy of heart were taken by Ammit the Devourer to reside with Apep the Terrible. Here they would exist eternally in the Pits of Fire. If the feather fell, and the heart rose, Horus would take the dead man’s hand, give him eternal bread, and lead him before Osiris in the Fields of Peace.

We don’t have to wait till the end of our days to weigh our heart against the feather of truth. Nor must we place our heart into the hands of those unwilling to weigh their own heart against an ostrich plume.

Take a moment to search for the truth of those who live their life with you. Are they in harmony with moral law, do they reach out to touch order and truth?

Have you ever taken the time to determine what they want from you? Those who live with an unbalanced heart invite chaos and hurt, they are wicked and live without loving intent. They can do no wrong, and in their eyes, no one can deliver goodness for the sake of giving goodness. These people wallow in bitterness and woe.

The ancient Egyptians looked to the Goddess of Ma’at for guidance, for she was the form that was born when chaos was cast from Earth. Through her principles the pharaohs led, because they knew that if they turned from her will, the world would be filled with chaos and dread. Their divine rule was not born from their blood, but instead the wisdom of Ma’at, and her majestic words.

In this moment consider who in your life lives with the desire to exist within the divine light of life. Test their heart against the weight of a feather and see who serves and who subjugates.

Search for those who live with love and seek to fly with the grace of a dove. Ask yourself, which of your loved ones seek to help others across the sky, even though they live with pain and eternal strife.

As we play on the limbs of the Tree of Life, it is often challenging to see beyond our dancing glee. The sun burns so bright our heart fails to see the shadows on the other side of the tree. Life is fleeting, it moves quickly like grains of sand slipping through our hand, so we must be open and observant to witness every speck of beauty and woe.

Think about the people closest to you. Why are you close to them? Is it because they love you? Do they encourage you to become a better person? Do they make life feel sweet, and wonderful, and delightful in ways that are beyond little treats?

What is love? Love is more than sunshine, and lollipops. It is a power that encourages constant, and consistent metamorphosis. It makes us want to be the best person we can be, pushes us to achieve our dreams, and reach for divinity.

Being in love is a state of pure peace, it helps us feel safe, protected, and invigorated, but it must be earned.

We have to give to receive. If we desire to have anything, we must be willing sacrifice something, because if we are unwilling to risk anything, we will be left with nothing.

The pursuit of love requires vulnerability. We must be willing to accept the deepest criticism to feel the greatest peace. It is a baptism by fire, and it requires a leap of faith. We must be willing to walk on hot coals, push against the greatest winds, and weather every storm.

It is earned with pain, vulnerability, and sacrifice, and it must be maintained. Love, like hope is a delicate flower, it must be fed, nurtured, and protected. When neglected its beautiful pedals wither and fall, until it disintegrates into nothing at all. Once lost it can never be found, so we must cultivate its health to harvest its sweet nectar like a bee to eat its wonderful honey.

Sometimes the people we love do not really love us. How can we know when the golden glow they show is genuine and pure? Real love sets you free. It encourages you to dance with glee, and it guides you gently, by opening your heart to the goodness of things.

Live your life to the weight of the feather of truth. Search for moments of vulnerability, observe the hurt that others are unwilling to heal. Surround yourself with the feather of the bird you want to be, live with integrity, and slice out the disease that is dimming the glow of your soul. Live your life by holding hands with the people who lead you to achieve your destiny.

Our quest for inner harmony and personal boundaries is a challenging journey. We are creatures of community, and our existence requires socialization. Unfortunately, we have the tendency to surround ourselves with people who inadvertently encourage our demons to rise to the surface, push us toward behaviors and situations that have negative consequences. The more we indulge our dark parts, the greater our demons will boil and burn us.

Peace and harmony can only be achieved by surrounding ourselves with the feathers of the bird we want to be. We have to periodically reevaluate our relationships to ensure our peers promote the values we want to espouse. When we discover they do not meet or exceed our expectations we must slice them from our life.

We have a role in their lives as well. If we are unable to meet their expectations and needs it is our responsibility to tell them. We must stand strong for them by cutting ourselves out of their lives once we realize we cannot give them what they need, or how they need it.

Relationships are not solely about sunshine and smiles. They are hard work. Anything that has value has been earned. We must make sacrifices for the relationships we want, because if we do not, they will never be worth anything to us in a true, meaningful way.

How do we evaluate our peers, loved ones, and friends?

• We must be honest and open to criticism.
• We must cultivate relationships that are open to honesty and criticism.
• We must surround ourselves with people who encourage us to be the best person we can be.
• We must make sure that we are elevating the people around us.
• We need to surround ourselves with people who are humble, empathetic, and creative.
• We need to be surround by people who celebrate the silences of the second.
• We need to be surrounded by people who know when to push us, even when we don’t want to be pushed.
• We need to surround by people who will be there for us when we need love.
• We need to give love to them when they need it from us.
• Those close to us must show to us that they are willing to work to keep the relationship strong.
• We must work to show our friends that we are willing to keep the relationship strong.
• We need to ask ourselves what value they have in our life.
• We need to ask ourselves what value we have in their life.
• Are they asking more of us than we are willing or able to give?
• Are they giving us more than what we think they should be?
• Are they giving us less than what we think they should be?
• Are we giving them more than what we think we should be?
• Are we giving them less than what we think we should be?
• Do we feel good after we spend time with them?
• Do they connect you with people who espouse the virtues that are important to you?
• Are they moving in a positive direction with their life?
• Can you grow together?

Finding Your Anchors

Your purpose was formed from the primordial glue, and it is up to you to shape it with undeniable truth. Beneath the muck and mud of the media’s manipulations and the social experiments inflicted upon you, is a suffering soul. It is starving, suffocating, and fighting to survive.

I know how it feels to walk a lonely road, to feel alien, and alone. In our journey it is easy to lose sight of hope and our ability to cope. Often, we catch ourselves tasting the bitterness of our broken heart as we bumble along our crushed cobblestone road.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

When the storm clouds above rumble and roar they become difficult to ignore, especially when we have been waiting so long for the wind to catch our sails. The wind will come with the rain, and when it arrives, we must be ready to ride the waves.

Unfortunately, we were never taught how to be the captain of our ship, let alone how to sail the seven seas. No one has even taught us how to drop our anchor to feel safe and secure as we eat and sleep.

The world has lied to us, it has wrapped our eyes in a foolish veil. One that consistently misleads us deeper into our own personal hell. These lies let us squander our seconds, because they teach us to believe that things will simply fall into place; and when they never do our bolts begin to unscrew.

What can we do to find our anchor, how can we learn to sail, and become the captain of our own ship? How do we find the peace we need in our uncertain sea?

1. We must be ready to weather the storm when the rain begins to fall. Transforming our life is no easy task. It is painful and burdensome. It often feels like the coldest rain, and it sometimes drives us insane. It is a hard journey, but pain is the catalyst for change, because without it we will be too complacent to forge ourselves into the person we need to be. As we enter our metamorphosis our dark parts will rise to the surface of our soul, and our old demons will tempt us with their sweet suffering. Avoid setting yourself on fire by searching for your inner power, rest your head on something soft, and float peacefully through the storm as you ignore every devilish desire.
2. We must relearn how to dance and sing, because these things have been stripped from our society. How can we find harmony if we lack the ability to witness a beautiful ballad, or feel a beat? We live terrible lives because we lack rhythm, and the consequence consumes our spirit. We fix this by searching inwardly to find the obvious answers that have been obfuscated from our eyes. In the celestial melody of our existence, we need the chords of undeniable truth to play a sensational song. Without these cosmic notes we will feel alone, broken, and without direction.
3. We need to reflect on the past to determine the role we played in our own hurt, then start taking responsibility for them. You are responsible for your own agony. Minimize the horrors of your existence by altering how you speak of them. This is achieved by slicing out certain words from your sentences, eliminate terms like: toxic, trigger, and trauma from your verbiage. These are junk words that push the negative energy wheel. They instill weakness and ever-present self-victimization. You are more than your hurt, you are not your disease, or hardship. When we use these terms, they spin us down a spiral till we are too dizzy to see the good in everything.
4. Avoid surrounding yourself with people who constantly wallow in the cesspool of their own misery. Offer experience, empathy, and compassion to those you love, but do not allow yourself to be drenched in their negativity. Sadness and sorrow can be positive experiences as we heal, but once they become a lifestyle we must step away.
5. We must avoid the pathological drive to achieve absolute self-sufficiency. We all exist because two people came together to create us. The world may want us to believe that we can take on everything alone, and that this lonely road is the way to peace, harmony, and deep satisfaction. The undeniable truth is that when we walk our highway of life alone it robs us of our ability to achieve our primal needs. We were never meant to be alone. In the roots of our primordial glue is the truth that we need someone to stick to.

We hurt with such immeasurable intensity because we have refused to wipe the muck and mud from our eyes to witness the natural wonders of life.

Your soul is starving, suffocating, and fighting to survive because it is suffering. It needs another soul to feed it when it is hungry, and to water it as it withers, and fight for it when it is afraid for its life.

No matter what you believe, you cannot thrive in this life if you insist on carrying every burden, and battling every fight, while holding the lantern of life.

Sometimes our greatest threats are our best friends

Years ago, when I was recovering from chemotherapy my life-long friend Pea weasel was facing the terrible threat of homelessness. I couldn’t allow a friend to suffer when I had the tools to help, so I offered him a place to stay, and exchange he would help me keep my home tidy, but otherwise live in one of my extra rooms for free.

In the short time he lived with me I noticed my things begin to disappear. For the most part I blamed it on my weakened memory due to chemo brain, but once my pain meds started to rapidly deplete, I realized it was probably him.

I had no evidence to make those claims, so instead I purchased a safe to tuck my meds away. One day I left to get a massage and while I was away, I received a call from him informing me that our house had been robbed.

I rushed home, and when I arrived, I found police cars outside of my house, when I went inside everything was smashed. My TV was cracked, my furniture was turned over, my Xbox was missing, my computers were gone, my jewelry was stolen, and all of my valuables were absent. The police were walking around my house dusting for fingerprints and asking questions.

Pea Weasel said that the house was robbed when he walked to the gas station. He said that he was only away for about 15 minutes. The story he painted was that the burglars must have ripped out the screen on the back window, opened it and used that as an access point to enter the house and leave with my possessions.

I thought this was strange because there were several other windows that would have been a better way to enter my home.

When the police asked him if any of his stuff was stolen, he said no. When asked why, Pee Weasel said it was because he had his dog in his bedroom, and that must have scared the burglars away.

As the police were walking around my home Pea Weasel asked me if I wanted to check the attic. I was confused by his question because I was unaware that he knew how to access it. The reason is because the attic door is in a place that he typically doesn’t have access to, and most people would never know where to look to find it.

“Why would we need to look there? There is nothing in the attic and why would anyone who robbed me want to mess with it?” I asked standing next to the upstairs closet where the attic door was located. I pointed up towards the ceiling. “For someone to go up there they would need a ladder, and then take apart the closet to get into it.”

“Yeah, you are right dude. That wouldn’t make any sense.” Pea Weasel replied.

Naturally I chose to avoid the Attic.

When the police left, they said the robbers were most likely someone who knew me intimately and had the opportunity to explore my house at one time or another.

I couldn’t think of anyone who would be willing to actually enter my home to rob me.

“What about Ino or Lee?” Pea Weasel asked.

“Lee hates me, and though he is the most calculating and vindictive person I know, he would never be dumb enough to do something like this.” I replied.

“What about Ino?” He continued.

“There is no way Ino would do this. He has no beef with me, and there is no way he would ever break into my house. The guy has issues, but something like this is not his M.O.” I replied.

“I don’t know dude.” Pea Weasel gave me a look of disbelief. “I know.” I said with certainty.

“I know.” I said with certainty.

After the police left, I began inspecting my losses. My computers were stolen, my TV was smashed, my speakers were thrown about the house, my camera was missing, my Xbox was gone, all of my jewelry was nowhere to be found, and I was missing about $1,000.

I found it interesting that the computers were taken but the cords were left behind. Then I noticed my safe was missing.

“Hey, I found your safe.” I heard him say from the garage.

My spider senses tingled. He didn’t know I had a safe. The thought didn’t linger long in my mind though because if there was a safe in the house surely it had to be mine. I walked into the garage to see him standing above my safe. I moved closer so that I could assess its contents. Inside I found my car title, it was torn in half and wet, and I saw one of my gold rings. It was clear that whoever broke into my safe tore it in half and then peed on it.

Some medicine still remained inside, and a few twenties were present. I laughed and commented on how stupid the burglar was.

Pea Weasel became defensive and talked about how they must not have seen it when they cracked the safe.

I collected my stinky title, the money, and my gold ring. I cleaned them off in the bathroom as best as I could, and I walked back into the garage. As I was in the bathroom Pea Weasel started cleaning up the mess in the living room.

“Hey, did you take the medicine that was in here?” I yelled from the garage.

“No, why?” He said walking back into the garage.

“Well because it is missing.” I replied shaking my head.

“Oh, shit dude they must have snuck back into the house when we left the garage!” He looked around frantically.

A creepy chill walked up my back and I looked at him like he was an idiot. There is no way someone snuck back into the garage after we left. The garage door was still closed, and if someone opened it, we would have heard it. In addition to this the back door was locked with a deadbolt.

“That doesn’t make any sense.” I closed my eyes with a sigh.

“Yeah dude, they must have snuck back in here when we left the room”

“How? The garage door is closed, and the back door is dead-bolted.” I pointed toward the obviously impossible doorways.

“They must have picked it.”

“They? Who?” I was getting emotional, confused, how could this have happened? Clearly, I didn’t believe him.

“I don’t know dude but whoever it was must have been watching your house for a long time!”

“Who?! And for what reason?”

“Well, you run with a bunch of bad people, maybe some of your criminal friends robbed you?” His voice changed to a condescending tone.

“Criminal friends? I run with hipsters, geeks, and hippies. I don’t have any criminal friends.”

“Maybe it was Lee?” His voice settled.

“Lee would just smash my face in, he wouldn’t rob me, and then come back that same day to steal a handful of pills. He is evil, but he is not an idiot.” I shook my head and walked past him to enter the kitchen.

“Maybe it was Ino?”

“We have already gone over this. Why would Ino want to rob me? It doesn’t make any sense.” I replied.

“Well, when you play with fire you get burned!”

“What does that even mean? I don’t play with fire, what are you talking about?” I said to him as he entered the kitchen.

“Well, someone thinks you have something here. What do you have that they want?” He continued.

“Who? I don’t have anything anyone wants. I’m just a guy with cancer on disability. I don’t have anything anyone would want.”

I walked away frustrated.



Later that night after the sunset I saw him staring out the back window.

“What are you looking at?” I asked.

“I saw someone out there.” He said in a low eerie voice.

I looked outside but there was nothing to see. Most of my yard was trees and things so I found it doubtful he could see anything either.

“I’m going to check it out.”

“Ok.” I shrugged.

He put his dog on a leash and went outside with a flashlight. I watched him through the window as he walked around my backyard. Then I saw him jump the fence to run around in the park behind my house. I couldn’t see him, but I could see his flashlight dance from place to place, it was cartoonish in a way.

When he came back inside, he was in a panic. “I saw someone dude, there were a bunch of them.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know dude, but they were wearing night vision goggles and they were scoping out your house.” I listened to him as he tried to catch his breath.

“Why would they do that? Why would anyone waste their time by watching me?”

“I don’t know dude; they must think you have something. What do you have here that would make them want to watch you?”

“I don’t have anything. Why would a team of people buy a bunch of night vision goggles to scope out my house? Your story doesn’t make any sense.”

“Do you think I am lying to you?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you think I would do such a thing?”

“Because I think you robbed me.”

“I can’t believe you would say such a thing! What have I ever done to you that would suggest I would steal from you?”

“Because you have been stealing my medicine.”

“I can’t believe you would say such a thing. We have been friends for over 20 years. Where is the loyalty?” He challenged me.

“Yeah, where is the loyalty?”

He pressed his hands into his eyes then turned around dramatically. A moment later he faced me with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I would never do anything to hurt you.” He stepped close to me, and my danger awareness shot to the roof. I eyed my environment for a weapon. Then he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for the first time ever. “I love you dude; I would never do anything to hurt you.”

It was the ickiest hug I have ever received, and once he let go, he had a look on his face like he had accomplished something.

“Are we good dude?” He said with remorse.

“Yeah… sure…”

He kept talking about the ‘people’ watching the house over the next few days and our conversations became increasingly uncomfortable. I decided I was going to ask him to leave my home, so I invited a mutual friend over to witness the conversation.

Our mutual friend Joseph sat in the room with Pea Weasel and I.

“I know that you robbed me, and I would like to have my stuff back.”

“I didn’t take your things dude.”

A moment of silence filled the air as I stared at him.

“I didn’t take your things, but I did find your stuff.” He said abruptly.

“… you found the things that were stolen from me?”

“Yeah.”

“Where are they?”

“They are upstairs in the attic.”

“Ok.” I took a deep breath as rage coursed through my veins. Joseph looked at Pea Weasel as I left the room to grab my ladder from the garage before carrying it upstairs.

Once upstairs I removed all of the clothes from the closet and disassembled the rack. It was a task that took about 15 minutes to complete. I set up the ladder and poked my head inside. Fire burned inside my heart as I found all of my belongings resting on the fiberglass. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I growled.

I composed myself and went back downstairs. Sitting down across from him I felt my fury fill every word in my mind. This was a man I had known since I was a child. I loved him like blood, invited him to live in my home, and now this?

“When did you find my stuff?” I sternly asked.

“I found it last night.”

“Why didn’t you tell me last night?”

“I didn’t want you to think I stole it.”

“So instead you wanted to put me through more suffering? How did it end up in the attic?”

“The people who robbed you must have stashed it up there before they left.”

“So let me get this straight. A well-organized group of burglars with night vision goggles staked out my house for days to memorize when we weren’t home. They did all of this so they could break into my home, smash up my house, and then leave all of my valuables in the attic so they could return when my alert was on high to retrieve it?”

“I don’t know what to say dude, it is the only thing that makes sense.”

“And this well-organized group of criminals wanted to risk their Big Heist by sneaking back into my locked garage to steal a handful of Medicine?”

He remained silent.

“Does that make any sense to you?” I asked.

“I don’t know what to tell you, it’s the only thing that makes any sense.” He repeated himself.

“I will tell you what makes sense. You have been stealing my medicine and when I got tired of it I started locking it in a safe. That pissed you off, so you decided to smash it open and steal my shit and in your childish fit of rage you destroyed my house.”

He shook his head.

“Then after your rage settled you knew you needed a way out, so you made it look like someone robbed me.”

“It’s not how it happened.”

“Then tell me, please tell me how it happened.”

“It’s not how it happened.”

“Give me something, give me something I can believe. Please god give me something that I can believe.”

“I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Ok, get out. Joseph, will you help him collect his belongings. You can come back for your kayaks in the garage, but we are done.”

Joseph helped him collect his things and he took Pea Weasel on his merry way. Later when I went up to his room, I discovered it was an absolute wreck. It took so much money and time to repair the damage he caused to that space that it was like icing on the cake.

Use your Hope to Help Others Grow

Clearly his name is not Pea Weasel, but there is no gain from sharing his name. The reason I refer to him with such a silly way is because in addition to the damage he dealt to the bedroom, and the things he stole, I learned he was the poor man’s version of Howard Hughes. Within his closet were dozens of bottles filled with his own urine. I felt the name makes the most sense, and it was a great way to add levity to an otherwise lackluster life event.

Many of my friends wanted to hurt him for the terrible things he did, but I told them there is no gain from bringing him any more hurt than he has already dished out for himself. The best I believe we can hope for him, and the people like him is to pray that one day he realizes how horrible he has been and tries to atone for the hurt he has caused. We all make mistakes, and I believe everyone deserves a redemption story. He will never again walk by my side, but maybe one day he can walk with a divine light and learn how to shine goodness on the lives around him.

In life it is easy to give up on people, but it is better to see the goodness in their souls. The moment we choose to give up on the world is the second everything becomes stark and cold.

How do we continue giving love when we have been hurt so many times? Why should we open our heart when everyone we love ends up eating our spirit? I’ve been destroyed by so many people it would be easy to call it quits, to hang up my coat and call it a day.

When the world punches us in the throat it is up to us to take a deep breath and suck it up. Life was never meant to be easy; nothing is fair and when we are down someone will always be there to kick us in the gut.

Stop beating yourself up over the hardships you have faced. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to the insanity we are forced to face.

Though the events of our existence may seem meaningless there is wisdom to be learned from our experiences. You can and will rise from your ashes, you will fly high into the sky and soar among the gods. The radiant glow of your soul will inspire others who’ve had their face rubbed into the muck and mud. You will show them life is not a dud and your actions will reveal there is goodness after every great storm. Love will rain from your heart, and it will remind others there is more than hurt. They will see that there is light at the end of the night and your power will encourage them to fight.

How do we continue giving love when we have been hurt so many times?

We push because we know there is more peace than there is pain. Life has shown us that in every second is a snapshot of infinite beauty. It has revealed to us that we are happier more than we are sad. We push forward because we are powerful, amazing, and stronger than any force that may be put on our path.

Why should we open our heart when everyone we love ends up eating our spirit?

We open our heart because we know these words are lies. They are blinders placed over our eyes to keep us from living our life. Throughout our incredible journey god has granted us more gifts than we could ever acknowledge, and we have been loved by more people than those who have showered us in suffering.

We have never been utterly, and completely destroyed, so there is no reason to ever call it quits. We wear our coat because it is beautiful and bold, and it will help us feel warm when we are cold. When the world punches us in the throat, we can train to block our attackers, and instead of looking for ways to make life easier we can search for the joys in our challenges. We can create fairness, make our moments fun, and help others up when they are too weak to stand.

In the journey of life, we can create our own grand plan, we stand tall after each fall and be a nimbus light that helps others live their greatest life.

Be Fair to Others

Know when you are asking for too much, know why you are asking for too much, and avoid asking for too much by realizing which requests are reasonable. We tend to forget the wishes, wants, and needs of others. Our universe becomes the only one of consequence and we ask for more than is fair.

Know when your complaints are unreasonable, know why you are complaining, and avoid making unreasonable complaints by realizing which ones hold merit. We tend to forget the wishes, wants, and needs of others. Our Universe becomes the only one of consequence and we expect others to bend to our every whim.

Far too many people waste their equity with others when they allow their beliefs and wants to attack the creature comfort and peace of others. You, I, and everyone else are not the only characters in the fantastic story of life. People need their little pieces to find a reprieve, if their actions are not objectively harming someone consider leaving them alone.

The world is a messy, gooey finger painting without rhyme or reason. You can find some peace by painting a form that grants you some ease, but do not get angry when someone throws sparkles on their own area. It is their section; if glitter makes their eyes glimmer and glow then give them a few moments to enjoy the show. Their ostentatious artistic display may be offensive to your eye, but it does not grant you the right to demand it be taken down. If their painting annoys you so much it makes your stomach churn, ask them to turn it away when you are near.

If they attempt to bring the terrible painting into your home, close the door. If you are in a place that is not yours, put on an eye patch and ignore it.

Loneliness

Where do you see yourself? Are you standing on a cold empty street with a chilling wind at your back? Are you surrounded by souls who seem vacant and without a soul? Are you lost and wandering through a desert of desolation?

Are you super charged with a roaring energy with nowhere to race? Are there more options and paths at your toe tips that leave you in a state of not knowing where to go?

You are not alone. We all slip into this state from time to time. Everything is going to be fine. You will find your way. You will relearn to cherish every second and find your perfect place.

Soon a time will come when the world begins to make sense. You will be surrounded by people who encourage you to walk the right way, people who love you, and won’t lead you astray.

You will know peace and harmony. Your heart will be filled with hope and your life will feel like heaven on earth.

All wounds must heal, and the hurt you feel will one day fade. It is easy to feel dismayed, to fall into a deep dark sea, and get pounded by the waves of uncertainty.

These feelings are fleeting, this agony will pass. The waters will carry you through the storm, guide you away from your islands of isolation, and show you to your paradise of peace.

Anger

The greatest influence you will ever have on anyone is yourself. So, when anger begins to eat your insides give it some love. When you find yourself lashing out, wrap that whip around your waist. When the thoughts and feelings of others ruin your day reshape the way you think.

Lead with Love

All things created by God are perfect, thank goodness all things were created by God.  Within all of us lurks the Adversary, this primordial force pressures our soul to indulge harmful behavior, pridefulness, and selfishness.  Though it may seem like a curse, the Adversary is a gift from God, it grants us the greatest blessing of existence: Freewill.  We must love the Adversary, just as we love all things created by God.

Love is not a simple state of existence.  When we actively love we do not necessarily have to like it.  For example, we can love people who hurt us, and we can love someone without being in love with them.  Love is a divine harmony of empathy, humility, and creativity.

Avoid Biting off More than You Can Chew

There are essential traits a wellness provider must possess. To be excellent we must espouse the virtues of empathy, creativity, and humility, but if we want to have a long fruitful career our heart must be full and robust. We must be passionate, emotionally rich, and vibrant spirits.

Those who have ‘drive’ without passion inevitably crash and burn. A massage therapist must have fuel to feed their flame. If our lamp lacks oil, our drive will burn, and our wick will become ash. When our lamp is filled with the oil of our heart it will infuse and protect the wick. It will burn and bring brightness to the world as long as we actively feed and replenish our love for life, and our desire to guide others away from strife.

So, if you are a massage therapist with a lot of drive, step back and look into your heart. Have you taken the time to replenish you spirit, and repair your soul? Are you actively investing in yourself and the incorporeal union of your immortal essence? Do have an enthusiasm that encourages liveliness in others? Are you a beacon of hope and love? Do you wear life like a glove and share your warmth with others like our Father above? If you find yourself lacking, or your spirit is hurting, search for ways to reconnect with old days. Find times when every second seemed magical, marvelous, and sensational and share those energies with those who are near. Give good for the sake of goodness, be kind when you hurt inside, and rediscover your inner beauty.

Embrace Your Inner Silliness When Others are Watching

What do people know about me? What do they know about you? Do you think some believe you have a screw or two loose? Do they know the secret behind the glue that makes you, you? Is their finger on your pulse, can they feel your heart, and when you speak do they hear the vibrant words born from your smarty parts?

What are you known for? Do their opinions make you groan, or sometimes wish you could borrow another life on loan?

You may not know this, but you are known for many things. I am sure someone thinks you are loving and sweet, silly, and fun, and more enjoyable to spend time with than chewing a stick of bubble yum!

I am known for many things, but I try to focus my energy on manifesting marvelous days. When I am down, or feel someone else is starting to slightly drown, I throw out a raft for others to grab so we may pull ourselves from our waters of woe. It is my intent to help the world glow and to taste the sweetness of the second. I want to serve as a guide to help lead others away from their hurty days.

So, what am I known for? I have chosen to be known for slinging rhymes about my favorite oatmeal times, even though every bowl is gross, and should be thrown over a boat.

Other people know me for my desire to own a castle, so I can fill the moat with things that are not gross.

However, most know me for my propensity to talk about turkey bones and ice cream cones. They would say I sometimes like to whisper words toward the phone. Others might claim that they are unsure if I like the flavor of scones.

All in all, many might say, that if I am sitting in a room by myself, it means there is a chance no one else is sitting next to me.

If you read these fancy words you will see that I embrace everything that is silly. I do this to saturate my soul with the magic of the moment, and to reconnect with the tart parts of my heart.

It doesn’t matter how you think others see you if you are living with love. When you embrace and give goodness for the sake of goodness life becomes golden. Light will shine on your skin, and your eyes will reflect with such a vibrant glow that others will be reminded that they too can be vibrant and bold.

So, what do people know about me? They know I live with my personality on my sleeve. What do they know about you? Whatever you choose for them too.

It doesn’t matter if they think you have a screw or two loose. Who cares if they think they know the secret behind the glue that makes you, you? If they do have their finger on your pulse, then it will feel beautiful when they feel your heart, and hear the vibrant words born from your smarty parts.

We should love all of our experiences 

Everything we have survived has shaped us into the person we are today.  If we love who we are, we must accept the blessings of every hardship we have endured.  We must treat our emotions like living creatures, because they are thriving, vibrant parts of us and collectively complete our spirit.  Unlike our soul the spirit lacks rationale, and it is comprised of our demons, impulses, and desires.  Our emotional creatures tempt us to place self-gratification as our highest priority and are often unified by the Adversary.  We need our spirit to explore our humanity, to thrive, and to live our highest quality of life.  Our spirit is the absolute embodiment of feminine energy, she is wild, magical, and whimsical.  She needs a stable force to anchor her reality, to provide nourishment and safety. 

The soul needs her feminine energy to remain whole, strong, and resilient 

Her fairy wisdom allows him to connect with nature, commune with the divine, and feel the beauty of the cosmos.  She helps him hold onto his purpose, drive and reason to fight.  Our soul fuels our ability to have rational thought, to build and maintain infrastructure, and to fight for our life.  It is a force that requires a tremendous amount of energy.  Though our soul provides her nourishment he cannot feed himself.  They must feed each other like bride and groom, their union is celebrated every day in a wedding reception where they feed each other cake.  The soul absorbs his energy through the comfort, nurturing and peace she brings him.  With her energy he sacrifices himself to gruel away with hard labor to ensure she is fed, protected, and grounded in reality.  In a harmonious relationship they support each other under the umbrella of their masculine and feminine union.   

Sometimes equilibrium is lost 

The soul becomes intoxicated by the pleasures of the spirit, or he loses sight of his power and demands submission without earning it with healthy dominance.  When our spirit reigns supreme it leads us to indulge our dark parts, leading us to encourage cruelty.  When our soul rises to tyranny he extinguishes the light of life, forces order without compromise and leeches away the magic of the moment.

When this happens, we must rely on our mind to use its knowledge and life lessons to build borders, enforce boundaries, and govern our existence.  The mind must give love while disciplining its incorporeal counterparts as they were children.  Our mind is not a friend to the spirit and soul, it is their sheriff, governor, and judge.

Marriage Woes of the Spirit and Soul

There are clues you can use to determine the health and harmony of your spirit and soul. Some are based on how you feel about your goals, the flavor of food, or whether your boo-hoos can be soothed.

Our soul has goals that are important and powerful. They help us rise from our sleepy-time tunes, encourages us to put on our shoes, and scrub away the rust from our days.

When our focus enters a frenzy, it silences our spirit. This forces her to sit and spy out the window dreaming of a life of games and play.

As the soul grinds away, the spirit slowly dies under the weight of her boredom. When the hours become weeks, and months transform into years her wild essence hardens into a dust covered marble bust. She cannot dance, prance, skip, or even trip clumsily over things. This is because she is no longer free, and as a consequence the dreams that fuel our goals will burn away like spent coals.

You can feel the disharmony when the silly wiggle of your feet no longer have a pep in their step. You can hear the discord in your voice when you no longer sing songs when you speak. It can be felt when all the stories you share are ballads of bad things. It can be experienced when you no longer want to rise from your bed, when sad thoughts fill your head, and each day is saturated with dread.

What is your relationship with food? What can you learn about your mood based on your current attitude toward your favorite yummy-yums?

Our spirit loves to eat because she was designed to receive. Her wild essence needs abundance to serve as Father Owl’s muse. Her role is to create a reprieve to enchant and reawaken the soul. She is the queen of the fae, a sweet smile that guides us away from strife, and an enchantress who glimmers under the sparkle of a moon lit night. Her feminine energy is delightful and divine and to the soul her energy is more delicious than the ripest fruit on the vine.

When our spirit no longer wiggles to the wonder of the world, we can feel it when we think about food. We will know our queen is starving when her hunger becomes anger. We will know she is wasting away when abundance seems wasteful. We will know she is skin and bones when the idea of eating irritates us and makes us feel distant and cold.

The spirit is soft, bountiful, and sensational. She is the essence of experience. Her existence is the embodiment of adventure, and every new moment is an expedition of excitement.

The spirit softens the soul. She breaks his patterns and rearranges his routines. The spirit is the force that breaks the concrete that holds his feet. She is his liberator, his divine distraction, and reason to sacrifice for something significant.

The wild nature of the spirit allows the soul to enjoy controlled chaos. He cannot be the wild fae creature dancing on the limbs of life, but he can enjoy her energy by loving her as his wife.

He will give her his love, sacrifice, protection, nourishment, guidance, and adoration. She will open her wild energies to him and receive, she will take his hand as he leads, and give him the treats that he needs. This divine union softens the soul and helps soothe your boo-hoos. It is what allows you to heal, to feel, and live a delightful life.

You will identify the disharmony between your spirit and soul when your hurts stop healing. You will know there is a hole in your heart when certain pains no longer cause agony. Life will feel distant and still. You will chase pain, participate in destructive behaviors, and feel strangely insane.

The spirit is beautiful, majestic, and marvelous. She is the once and forever true love of the soul. She inspires him to achieve his goals, captivates his senses with savory tastes, and motivates him to free himself from the shackles of defeat.

Unfortunately, the mind can also be their executioners 

When the mind acts with hatred and refuses to bestow love it betrays the divine order.  It destroys our humanity and devours the liberties of others.

Our mind is the last line of defense against the Adversary.  When the mind operates with love it can develop systems to help protect its allies.  One tool it can use is to filter everything others take through good intent.  This allows us to assume others aren’t trying to hurt us.  Living this way pushes back the Adversary and allows us to see the world with clear eyes.  Another tool is to know that those who are wise and strong never have to fight for their position, because they already have it.  The mind can make sure others have the time to speak, and it can choose to listen to what they have to say.  It can assume people we interact with are unaware of the truths we believe, especially the ones we think are common sense.  This allows us to avoid impulsive characterizations of them.  The mind can choose to allow emotional wounds an opportunity to heal, by letting them scab over before we try to treat them.  It can remind us that suffering ends when we give purpose to the pain, that positivity begets positivity, and we should judge others by the merit of their character.

Our mind can allow us to take a proactive approach to preventing regret

Regret is unresolved fear, and it eats away the glue that binds our mind, spirit, and soul.  It is a subtle way for the Adversary to trick us into hating ourselves, and over time it will erode our ability to love.

As we live, interesting ideas drip into our mind.  The older we get the greater the regret storm becomes.  As we enter our twilight time regret floods our existence. The water levels press against our levies until they break, and we become the consequence of refusing to live our life in the moment.  Every fearful scene we had influence over but refused to act upon will one day haunt us.  Each memory is a grain of sand.  A single speck is enough to irritate our eyes, but a handful will blind our sight.  There is only one way to shield our eyes.  To keep our vision clear we must actively engage a proactive prevention of regret.  This requires us to resolve our fears in the second by asking our incorporeal union questions.  Do we have influence over the outcome?  Are we experiencing fear?  Why are we afraid?  Are we a slave to the fear?  If we are afraid, will we regret breaking the chains?  Will we regret acting with courage?  Is the act moral and ethical?  Will we regret being a coward if we refuse to be courageous?

In hindsight our scary scenes set us free

They show us a secret nestled within our soul, and each memory reflects who we once were.  We can enrich our afterthoughts by writing our life with sensational stories in the second.  Each decision we make allows us to author a beautiful autobiography, one without regret, suffering, and anger.

Sometimes we get lost in the moment, especially when each second is all we know

The past is an abstract idea that shackles our mind to a boulder of perpetual reflection.  The pain of the past creates a deep void, within its darkness are tentacles of the Adversary.  This alien hunger desperately needs to eat away every wholesome component of our existence.  When its slimy sucker covered limb wraps around our leg it leeches away our ability to love.  As our divine energy drains from our heart, we stare toward the temptation of the void.  Our spirit needs nourishment, she hungers and her need to feed leads us to eat weakness and worry.  Some attempt to curb this insatiable urge by listening and living by the wise words who came before.

“Live each day like it is your last.”  Living this way can be beautiful for someone rich with wisdom.  Unfortunately, in our era of self-obsession this becomes a motto for obsessive personal gratification.  Few possess the sound judgement, humility, and empathy to use these words as a medicine, and instead inject their spirit with addictive intoxicants.

“Live like it is the last week of your life.”  This gives us time to think about others in the world.  We feel less rushed, we can accomplish tasks, fulfill our obligations, and give love to others.  Life is a social journey, to celebrate every second we must spend it with people.  If we are to live like it is our last week of our life, we must be considerate to the other guests, our responsibilities, and the purpose of our existence.

Living life like it is our final week on earth means we must witness the blessing of every circumstance.  We must learn that every hurt is an opportunity to learn how to help others, and that suffering ends when we give purpose to the pain. 

Death and pain are laws of life and without them our existence would be meaningless.  The last week of our life may hurt, but every week is filled with pain, yet every week eventually ends.  Avoid the frustrations by embracing the blessings, witness the miracle of every moment and accept the gifts we have been granted.

Sometimes in our complicated seconds we forget about our strength and what it means to be wise 

When leading we must remember that the wise and the strong do not have to fight for their position, because we already know our role.  Our soul doesn’t need to fight with our spirit because they already know where they stand, and what they were made to do.  Her beautiful energy allows him to connect with the divine, and his strength keeps her safe in the world.  The mind keeps them focused and keeps them on track, but sometimes it loses it way leading the incorporeal union astray.  This causes our spirit and soul to lose sight of their purpose, to atrophy, and live-in misery.

When challenged it is easy to fall into a frenzy of feelings.  The urge to fight tempts us to stray from our footing and engage in foolishness.  In these seconds we need to pause, listen, hold our breath, think again, and decide if we need to speak.  Are the words we want to use appropriate for the message we intent to convey?  Have we considered our talking partner’s perception of reality?

As we think about our message, we must take some time to calculate the number of words needed to communicate our idea.  Will they lead to a run on sentence?  How many sentences do we need?  Can we speak without rapid speech?  Are we fighting to be right?  Do we need to have the last word?  How much are we focused on winning?  How will our listener gain from what we have to say?  How valuable is our message?  Does it have to be spoken?  When we speak what tonality do we intend to use?  What are we saying with our body language and facial expressions?

The intent of our message reverberates through our actions.  If our intent is not clean and honest from surface to center our listener will feel it.  The mind hunts for incongruencies and when it finds them it attacks and tears them apart. 

How will our listener gain from what we have to say?  This question is the most important and it requires intense scrutiny.  We must be honest with ourselves in this moment, open our soul and be willing to be vulnerable.  In this slice of time, can we fairly weigh our wants and wishes against our alleged intent, and come out even?

The strong and wise can listen, they take pauses when they speak, and give others an opportunity to share.  Every dialogue is a social contract and as leaders we must remain aware of every handshake we make.  The rules must be followed, because when they are broken the debate becomes a vie for power, instead of an exchange of ideas. The more we want to speak, the less we should.  The more passion we feel, the more we need to chill out. When we hog the ball no one else gets to play.  We should throw the ball to someone else at the moment we want to hold it most. If our idea is as important as we think it is, it can wait.  The longer we speak the less others are willing to listen. 

Sometimes we become a broken record and start repeating the same statement over and over.  Others will only tolerate this for so long, eventually their spirit will fatigue and ask their soul to shut us out.  This depletes our social equity, makes us look weak and broken.

It is our responsibility to remain aware of what we say and save repetitive statements for meaningful and impactful messages.  Repetitive techniques in massage are irritating, and they are equally annoying in conversation. 

Leading with love means remaining aware of every situation and our place within the cosmos. We must remain aware of the Adversary lurking within us, and how it corrupts our ability to lead.  By encouraging an environment of loving intent, we can allow others to enjoy the divine gifts granted by God.  We can inspire them to stand tall against their Adversary, to discover harmony within their incorporeal union and espouse the virtues of humility, empathy, and creativity.  When we lead with love, we encourage others to swim in its warm waters.

Giving our Greatest Energy

To embark on this quest, we must encourage others to open their treasure chest and experience excellence.

We do this by feeling and filling the room. Take a moment and meditate on occupying your space, feel your energy radiate and pay attention to where it gravitates. Harness your mighty glow, direct it like Cupid’s bow and encourage others to fall in love with life.

How do we feel and fill the room? We must harmonize our desire and balance each expectation. Our actions must be fair, caring and daring. We need to give more than we expect to receive and be as humble as humble-can-be. Our heart and head must work in tandem to massage the magic of the moment by encouraging others to feel marvelous.

If the energy is stagnant and dead, we must never give into the dread. Instead, our incorporeal union shall melt down the suffering of the second, by recycling it into something significant.

How do we do this? Our spirit and soul must be in love. They must wear each other’s passion like a glove, and soar through the sky like two turtle doves.

Our spirit is essential in this incredible exploration. She is the might under our wings that allow us to take flight. She is the wind behind our sails that carry us across the sea. Our spirit is the spark that ignites every candle and campfire, and when her power burns out our voice loses its ability to shout. This leads us to speak in hushed tones and often causes us to feel alone. When this happens, we must remind her to shine from time-to-time by guiding her to play. So, invigorate your spirit with amazing things, and encourage her to dance and sing.

If she is too tired to rise to the delight of her own melody, invite her to rest her head on our soul’s chest. Whisper sweet words till her eyes dim and dine on sleepy time tunes. After her sleep she will feel free and once again the spirit will have the power to fight against another dreary dream.

Our soul lives with a goal but he too can become wayward and lost. He is the device that guides the spirits light, his shape and focus is the form of her lantern and with his direction she will illuminate the night with her light.

Once our soul loses his moxie, he will no longer be able to muster the might to stand tall for his doll. With his arms weakened he will fail to have the will to fight. His legs will wobble like flimsy trees, and his hardships will make him feel battered and beaten. He will become an old relic, a simple token of old triumph, and a broken trinket.

Our soul needs the peace-granting energy of his wife. He requires her higher-power and connection to the divine. Our soul must have the ability to rest his head against her breast and listen to our spirit’s sweet song.

When our spirit and soul are mostly harmonious it invites others to join us within our spirit palace. There we can dance and play, but only for a limited stay, because only loved ones can remain for more than a day.

If you seek to feel and fill the room, you must become it. Your heart must burn with a brilliant glow and invite others to get to know your soul and cherish the radiant light of your spirit.

As we accept their energy into our heart, we must encourage them to occupy their space by guiding them toward their perfect place. We will show them how to feel and fill the room, to meditate on their sacred ways, and pay attention to where their energy radiates.

This is how we give our greatest energy. It is a beautiful quest to encourage others to open their treasure chest and experience excellence.

Remain Aware

Online mantras and snippets of wisdom are mostly worthless and misleading. They are often single slices of a greater pie, and even then, they do not account for the meal that came before.

The quest for harmony cannot be found within an incomplete quote or a single line of scripture. It must be witnessed within the totality of its message to be accurately received. Reading anything less leads to duress and disharmony. These short snippets are signs of our times, they reflect our culture of instant gratification and self-obsession.

Unfortunately, our existence and culture have more fractures that a broken mirror, so even this analysis is incomplete. Not only do we live in a culture of instant gratification and self-obsession, but we also exist in a world that increasingly attempts to eradicate the value of the individual in favor for an obsession for collectivism.

The media and the powers-to-be want to strip us of our liberties, scare us into submission, and make everyone loathe and hate each other. With the amount of marketing and money invested in breaking the bonds of our communities it is easy to see why we are starving for a little emotional levity.

We hurt so deeply that even a snippet of wisdom, even out of context can remind us that our inner and outer qualities and hardships have value. Unfortunately, both avenues are addictions of our incorporeal union. They are indulgences that push us away from peace and increase the severity of our disease.

How do we fight against those who seek to strip away our identity? What must we do to satiate our inside zones so we may live with peace and harmony?

We must search for complete ideas and critically analyze them. We must pluck out the propaganda, search for motive, and release our anger into the ether as positive energy. We do this by recycling the power of the adversary into good vibes and healing intent.

We must turn off the TV and begin ignoring those who want to strip away our identity. We must push away our quest for collectivism and embrace the unique things that ignite our fire for life.

Here is a Little Inspiration to Help you Smile

Fish sticks and jellybeans, old hats, and little snacks, but especially butterflies and old mulch go great inside a QT big gulp.

I try to live my life in silly ways, because there is too much darkness and strife in our daily lives. I am a character to many, a cartoonish thing, and ultimately, I am OK with the perceptions others tend to make.

I am a milk carton with many sides, and I have learned from people wiser than I, that my voice changes based on what I feel and think.

Sometimes I am super serious, overwhelmingly playful, and out of this world unusual. The world has granted me with the terrible blessing of being bold, sometimes seemingly cold, and ultimately odder than an old fancy hat.

My greatest curses are my most wonderful fortunes, and I always do my best to see the beauty in all things. I have known pain beyond my wildest imagination, yet I have known no greater agony than you have been forced to face.

My horrors have taught me how to help others heal themselves. Though I may be helpful I am not a healer. I simply live my life in a way that sometimes guides others to minimize their strife.

I am no better or worse off than you, I’m just another person. Ultimately, I want only the best for those I hold close, and even those I have never met.

I hope my words can serve as a sticky glue, one that will bind your life together with your own honest truth. Because at the end of the day there is only one way we can put on our shoes.

It is my hope that you will give greatness for goodness’s sake, grant yourself a few breaks, and to know you are bound to make many mistakes.

So pull that stake from your heart like a vampire in the dark. Rise from your sleep and stand tall on your old dirty feet.

Our Mind, Spirit, and Soul

What drives us, propels us forward, and keeps us afloat?

Our ability to get up in the morning, to deal with the dreary doldrums of our day, and search for hope are fueled by little bits of love, positivity, and respect we collect throughout the day. They are the scoobie snacks our mind, spirit, and soul.

Like Scooby Doo we go crazy for them. There is no maximum number of scoobie snacks we can eat. Truly, the more good-energy we receive the healthier and leaner we can be.

Knowing we need positivity isn’t enough. To harmonize ourselves deeply we must open a door to our inside zones and ask our incorporeal union why we need positivity, love, and respect? How and why do these emotional elements help us achieve harmony; and who are these incorporeal things that make me, me? What do my different parts need to remain productive, healthy, and happy?

Our incorporeal union is made up of our Spirit, Soul, and Mind. They live together in a little nest of dirt we call our body.

What is our spirit? SHE is our feminine, fiery, and magical energy. Her primordial force is the light that illuminates our life, connects us with the divine, and gives us the ability to shine. She is the gentle breeze that reminds us to breathe, our childlike whimsy, and lust for adventure. Our spirit is heavenly, but she is also hungry. Her need to eat is profound, and when she misses a few meals, our world begins to melt. If she starts to starve our life becomes doom and gloom, and darkness shrouds our eyes until we start believing our existence is one never ending night.

What is our soul? HE is our masculine might, our order, and unstoppable vigor. His primordial force is purposeful, profoundly intense, and stoic. He is the anchor to our reality, and he serves as our guide, mentor, and protector. Our soul is spectacular, but he can easily become lost in the cold, calculating prison of his own design. When this happens, life becomes boring and lifeless, and each day becomes a never-ending blur of sterile light.

Our spirit is a delightful lady who loves to eat, so when she gets her hands on a bountiful pack of scoobie snacks she is as free as can be. These little treats are the essential nutrients she needs, and when she dines on them her pleasure is a majestic sight to see. They make her dance and hum in her seat as she gleefully eats.

Once her tummy is full, she wraps her arms around our soul zones and gives us love. She glows beautifully, encourages us to be strong, and offers us the peace we need.

The longer we are denied our scoobie snacks the more our spirit starves. Her bones become brittle, and weak, and eventually she loses her ability to feel free. When this happens, our soul is denied his cheerleader’s hand. This burdens him in bad ways, enslaves him to silly thoughts, invalidates his cool, and unwinds our life in woeful ways.

The soul and spirit are equally amazing parts of our incorporeal union. They process the world through different lenses, are designed to have vastly different roles, and are effectively aliens to each other. Though they are vastly different they are the perfect union, and when they work in tandem their harmony is unstoppable. When they hold hands, their bond is eternally unbreakable.

In the wicked world we live most of us are barely surviving, because we exist in a state of perpetual isolation, loneliness, and horror. Our incorporeal inside parts are starving, neglected, and lost. We need something real, something soft, and an anchor to keep us from floating away.

When the spirit is starving and our soul is lost in his matrix of order, it is up to our mind to bind everything back together. Using duct tape, gorilla glue, and wd40, it uses everything we have learned from our philosophies, religion, positive habits, and emotional resourcefulness to make it all better.

The mind is not a great reactionary tool for emotional management. It is our governor, not a marriage counselor. It is great at creating fences to keep our emotional creatures on the farm by setting and maintaining boundaries, but it is not equipped to effectively chase down, calm, and resolve barn yard prison escapes.

Our mind is nobody’s friend, it is the last line of defense we have for emotional survival, and it is the least qualified for the job. It is the most broken, fractured, and disoriented aspect of our existence. It can be cruel, selfish, and often self-destructive. It lacks the gentle touch of the soul, and the ability to feel the moment like the spirit.

We must be proactive with our mind, and reactive with our Soul and Spirit. So take a moment, or maybe a week to think about your scoobie snacks. What do you need to feel free? What do you need to feed your inside zones, to drive you forward, and keep you afloat?

Know Your Soul

Does your power stand tall like a tower tearing through the skies? Do you live your highest and brightest version of life? Do you shower others with radiance and love? Do you wear your purpose like a glove? Do you soar through the sky like an eagle with eyes of truth. Is your aura triumphant and bold? Do you offer warmth when others are cold?

How powerful is your soul? Have you planted your feet in the earth? Can you taste the iron in your heart? Are you stalwart and strong and ready to conquer the darkness that seeps into your day? Are you wise as a tree and willing to encourage Mother Fox to dance and play?

Can you honor the divine spirit by helping her feel safe and free? Can you inspire her to swing from the branches of the tree? Can you guide her from her strife and encourage her to fully live life?

Do you listen to Father Owl when he grants the wisdom of his words. Do allow him the opportunity to instill you with courage. Are willing to accept his wing when he offers an invitation to explore your divine identity?

Who are you through-and-through? Are you true to you? Can you become more than you are? Are you ready to love your scars? Can you find purpose in the pain? Can you find your own way? Are you ready to live your best days?

The Soul Must be Anchored to Reality

The soul’s inability to anchor himself to objective reality will forever damn the spirit to float in the ether alone.

She needs the soul to watch the waters as she leaps in. The spirit must feel safe each second she swims. She needs his eyes to guide and protect her life as she plays and sings with her sisters in the stream.

Mother Fox needs Father Owl to be stalwart and strong. He must have a big heart and know how it feels to live covered with scars. He must possess a guiding light that can inspire her to heal her heart when she feels broken and split apart.

She needs him to be her nimbus light, so she may feel warmth in the cold of night. He must be grounded and anchored to the earth, but he must also know how to suddenly take flight. His talons must be sharp and fast, so he can defend her against the monsters of the night.

He must seem powerful and purposeful. He must live with abundance and be larger than life. His confidence should feel so incredible it encourages her to exist in a state of awe.

Father Owl’s wisdom should be deep and full and fantastic in fancy ways. He needs to feel free to explore his own needs, be capable of leading, and create his own destiny.

When the soul lacks these things, he appears lost and weak. When he embraces fluidity, his essence feels slippery and dreary. His essence becomes thin, soft, and squishy like a worm and it steals away his ability to stand firm.

The soul must be a powerful post for the spirit to safely anchor herself to. When he lacks form, substance, and strength he will not have the power to help her feel safe.

When the soul is unwilling to accept objective reality, his energy feels insane, unstable, and scary. When the spirit anchors herself to an essence without structure it can feel magical and full of life, but it is fated to face terrible days. The whimsy will feel incredible and great until the weeks start filling with woe when Father Owl starts refusing to lead the show.

When he says everything is an illusion how will she know he can see the predators in her way? How can she ever know if it is safe enough to play?

Mother Fox needs Father Owl to see and accept reality so she can dance and sing. We need him to protect her so we may taste our dreams. We need her to nurture his essence so our soul can guide us to our goals, and we need them both to be bold and beautiful so we may achieve harmony on our own.

Managing our Mind through Heart Break and Emotional Confusion

Why do we want what we know isn’t good for us; and why do we feel like we are fighting ourselves when we resist the urge to have it?

Sometimes our spirit wants more than we can give her. In this moment she has unrealistic expectations and desires that are unfeasible. The more she doesn’t get, the more she wants. Eventually her desire outweighs our ability to manage, and a fight breaks out within our incorporeal union.

It is the role of our soul to protect our spirit from situations and decisions that are harmful to us. Sometimes this means letting go of the things we want in favor for what we need. Ultimately when this happens the experience is terrible indeed because it makes our mind feel uncomfortable things.

Our mind is not meant to serve as our marriage counselor. It is our governor, leader, and guide. Our mind is designed to be proactive, rather than reactive, so when it is forced to face these tribulations, it often fails.

This is what happens when the mind is forced to react to heartbreak and emotional confusion.

The mind wants to create systems, it loves to analyze, and explore ideas. Without our mind our incorporeal union would be lost, and their relationship would fall apart.

The reason is because it creates boundaries and rules for us to follow. These often manifest in how we interact with the world. This can be witnessed in our personal philosophy, religion, and commitment to ethical behavior.

If we desire to have a healthy mind, we must feed it the scoobie snacks it wants to eat. The mind thrives on intellectual stimulation. It loves to learn, listen, and develop solutions. When we give it time to contemplate the universe and the world within us, it grants us the ability to establish effective personal boundaries.

Unfortunately, bad things happen when we overindulge our mind. Like the soul it can get stuck in a prison of its own design.

Unlike the soul which is a metaphysical machine designed for action, the mind can easily spiral and spin on a single idea.

When we overindulge our mind, it tends to hyper-focus so much that we never complete a project. It may even enter a state that stops us from moving forward in life.

Shyness is typically a pathology of the mind. It is spawned from over calculation and the mismanagement of perceived risk. As it’s gears spin, we get lost in the second until the opportunity to speak has passed.

An underutilized mind is dull and boring and lacks substance.

Managing healthy mind harmony is essential but especially difficult. However, the rewards are incredible and are often transformative for our spirit and soul.

When our mind is functioning correctly it creates boundaries that prevent conflict between our spirit and soul. It helps reduce our desire to want what we know is not good for us and prevents a lot of infighting. In addition to this it helps us minimize our urges, prevents us from excessively leaning on the mind for emotional matters, and facilitates healthy boundaries within us, and with others.

Our Sweet Spots, Tender Places, and Soft Spots

As we push through our perils, strife leeches away the pleasures of life. It sours our sweet spots, destroys our soft spots, and forces us to hide our tender places. As this searing loneliness slices into our spirit, she begins to beg and scream for us to find her magical melody. In this moment we must sing to her the songs of better times, reveal our vulnerability, and weave her a new tapestry, one that is soft, warm, and wonderful. We must distract her from the horrors of our hurt because she believes that the sum of our existence has solely been suffering. We must remind her that the darkness she sees is blinding her from the beauty, awe, and wonder she has witnessed. In this moment we have to unwrap her eyes so she can see the starlight guides in her life.

In this ballad we have to share stories of our sweet spots. These are marvelous memories that remind us of better times. They are sweet seconds when her heart was happy, vibrant, and bold.

We must reveal our tender places. These are areas of our personality where we feel vulnerable and capable of receiving affection, love, and positive energy.

We must invite her to join us to visit, and weave new soft spots. These are people and places that settle our soul and replenish our spirit. Sometimes we have to sing our own songs. Whenever your spirit needs a lullaby, hold her in your hands and cradle her in your arms, rock her sweetly and sing.

When my heart is hurting, I try to take myself back to better times. Moments when life sparkled with divine sensations and sweet smiles. These songs remind me that life isn’t always horrible. It tells me there are majestic memories I can call back to when I need to introduce some light to my night.

One of my favorite memories was Christmas time when my mother was alive. Every year she painstakingly addressed every intricate detail to ensure it was marvelous. She would make hundreds of delicious cookies and scrumptious pies. The Christmas tree was always delightful to see, and the house was wrapped with sparkling lights to match. She would start a fire in the wood stove to create a magical glow, and on Christmas day every gift was perfectly wrapped and infused with every ounce of her love.

My mother was the most wonderful person I have ever loved. She was honest, strong, and wise. To this day I am astounded by the power of her might and capacity for love.

Sometimes she would do things that stun me to this day. One morning when I was a boy I was getting ready for school. She had just finished an overnight shift as a nurse’s aide and had a few moments to share before I headed off to catch the bus.

She said that she was going to cut down the apple tree in the backyard. I shrugged it off and went to school. When I came home, I discovered she had accomplished what she set off to do. Using a chainsaw, a hand axe, and a hacksaw she cut and sliced that giant tree to its roots.

I remember rubbing her head and feet as a child, playing cards with her at the coffee table, and eating her delicious home-cooked meals. My mother lived and died powerfully. She was a force of nature. Her heart was unstoppable and amazing beyond words. She was my best friend, my greatest influence, and the most wonderful human I have ever met. Though I miss her dearly I treasure her for the life she lived and the lessons she taught me when she passed.

This is the beautiful ballad I’m singing to my sweet spirit tonight. My heart has been hurting in grave ways and thinking about my wonderful mother is surely saving the day. Her memory is a sweet spot in my life in an otherwise dark and dreary journey. She is a reminder that the sum of my existence has been more than suffering. Thinking about her unwraps my eyes and reminds me that I have had starlight guides in my life.

This is one of my beautiful ballads, and though it wets my eyes, it reminds me of the love I have in my life.

Our Dark Parts

Our dark parts are the black snakes (fireworks) that when lit emits smoke and spew ash. They are an intumescent substance that swells when it’s exposed to fire and heat. When our incorporeal union faces internal friction, it releases a terrible flame. This heat feeds our dark parts and emboldens our demons to grow an anchor themselves into our soul. After getting comfortable they will start seducing us with chaos and begin tempting us with devilish desires. These demons are the enemy of the mind, because as they eat our power, we begin to believe their lies.

Every dark part is a negative vortex, they are black holes that eat the light and drain away our life. They are heavy and all-consuming; and the more we feed them, the hungrier they become.

What are our dark parts?

They are scars of old wounds, but not just any injury. They are formed from the greatest violations and horrors we have endured. Each dark part is a mechanism made by our mind to cope with the hurt it cannot heal. These scars are more than stray impulses, fleeting negative feelings, and irresponsible behavior. They are terribly designed coping mechanisms that ultimately cause us to malfunction. They are deep operational protocols designed to help us navigate the complexities of our humanity, unfortunately these coping mechanisms tend to do the opposite.

How do we influence our dark parts?

It is important to realize that they can never be destroyed, they may only be managed. This is because they are more than emotions. They are programs, demons, and specters born from the horrors of our personal abyss. When we indulge the seduction of their sweet kiss its summons a candy like bliss. Unfortunately like any sugary-sweet it will eventually rot our teeth.

To influence our dark parts, we must discover how we wished them into existence, what do they do, and why do we have them? Knowledge alone is not enough to tame this beast. It requires a metamorphosis followed by consistent personal maintenance.

Each metamorphosis is aimed at a specific dark part with the intent of reprogramming our demons. If we do not have a soft spot in our life, our incorporeal union will lean on its ineffective coping mechanisms to weather the storm. This means we will fight two battles, facing a two-front war with another dark part, and its demons. A war of this nature is horrible, but sometimes we have no choice but to change.

How do we flip the switch to enter a metamorphosis?

Once our threshold for discomfort has been exceeded, we are forced to face a fork in the road. Do we continue in the same direction, or do we take an alternate route? Pain mars the path in both ways. A decision must be made, so give yourself time to consider which road to take.

Transformation is no easy task, it will be heartbreaking, and there will be unforeseen consequences. When we unscrew the panel box to our operating system a series of wires will be revealed. When we switch things around, we often do it blindly, we will make mistakes, and it will cause suffering.

If this is your first willful metamorphosis you must have a support system, or a soft space to rest your weary spirit. Turn towards the people who love you and give them the opportunity to be present when you need a reprieve or some peace.

We need them because when we activate our transformation our dark parts will rise to the surface. Old behaviors will bulge out and their magnitude will be remarkable.

These dark parts release the demons of our soul, and their only goal is to reclaim control. You will be tempted by these old behaviors because their seduction is YOUR perfect kind of sweet.

Failure will tailor terrible strife and the consequence will incur a debt with an unpayable price. So, anchor your feet and stand strong against every malicious throng. If you can hold your ground, your incorporeal union will emerge safe and sound. The transformation will be complete, and you will know greater peace.

The forest may be lush and green. It may be truly serene but not everything is happy and healthy in this scene. In this flowery forest are fights, bites and bitter cold, and whole lives are spent fighting for control. Though there are many first breaths there just as many deaths. It is a haunting place, a daunting land, a heavenly haven, and a spectacular space.

Life, like this place is simple and comforting, complicated and crazy. It is wonderful and woeful, educated, and ignorant. It is many things, but easy is not one.

What we see is not always what we get and what we do is not always true.

Sometimes we are sad swinging through the trees, even though we look happy to all who can see.

The illusions and the darkness in the forest can set you free the moment you decide to see. It is not the veil on your face that steals your sight, it is your hiding eyes that conceals the light. When you open your eye, you will see we are fighting to simply be.

We all know terror, pain, and shame. Each of us bumbling through life the same. We all have a wealth of wonderful abilities and awful weaknesses. Each of us hurting in different ways, but ultimately, we hurt the same.

When we come to the crossroads of you and me and every bird and bee look both ways before you jump and scream.

The best way to see is to have empathy and with compassion you will be set free. When you growl and yell, twist and kick all your doing is making the world sick.

Anger and hurt is an infectious disease and love is its only remedy. It is a golden, lovely light that shines so bright it encourages you to wear life like a glove, to fly like a dove and to say goodbye to the frivolous fight.

The dark parts of our soul are the scars that have gone unhealed and can never be mended. These wounds are formed when we fail to cope in the moment. They are the consequence of running from the pain in the second, and as a result we are forced to face them forever.

Terrible coping programs emerge from our dark parts. They can be addictions, obsessions, and various other unhealthy behaviors like relationships of habit. These programs feel good in the moment, but they burn our soul zones after their instant gratification has receded.

Some people say, “Time heals all wounds.” This is not true. Time alone is not enough to overcome the horrors we have been forced to face.

We must actively engage the healing process. This feels horrible, but all treatments are often terrible. If we are unwilling to reopen the wound, clean it out, and apply some medicine, it will fester, rot, and spread disease throughout our incorporeal union.

There are many ways we can fight back against our hurt. One of the best methods is to change how we speak of them, and over time it will alter how we think about them. Cut out junk words from your vocabulary that promote the personal deification of weakness, like toxic, trauma, and narcissist. Stop talking about how someone has hurt you and begin taking responsibility for what happened by saying things like, “I allowed myself to be hurt.”

We can introduce positive and creative words into our speech patterns that help invigorate our spirit. When we say or think about a word we experience it, so use terms that are empowering as often as possible.

Our dark parts thrive on negative pathos, so stop feeding it delicious treats. This will put it on a diet and naturally it’s fat will burn away until its magnitude is no longer monstrous.

Once we have a healthy dose of energy pushing our positive waterwheel, we will have the strength and endurance to enter a metamorphosis of personal healing.

Unfortunately, once these programs exist they can never truly be eliminated. They will always exist in a primordial form in a hibernation state near our dark parts. Once any negative energy is fed near our old wounds these programs may spring back into action.

These programs prevent us from coming to terms with why our dark parts exist. Effectively when we engage them, they freeze our soul zones in place. The longer we engage these programs the more time it takes to move forward. Ultimately, we will never know peace as long as we are standing still.

This is why we must be vigilant with our personal awareness and develop a relationship with our incorporeal union. When we do, we can mitigate catastrophic consequences when our heart breaks, or when we are thrown off track.

Sometimes our road feels troublesome, hurtful, and impossible. These are fleeting feelings, and you will overcome them! You are powerful, unstoppable, an unbelievably amazing. You are the freight train, and nothing will stop you on your way.

The Barrel of Stress

When stress levels elevate, we often search for coping mechanisms to minimize discomfort. We either swell the size of our barrel or scoop out the stress by hand.

Swelling the barrel often includes unhealthy habits like smoking, over-eating, and other unfortunate behaviors.

Scooping out the water may include exercise, eating right, having healthy sleeping habits and activities.

Both serve a valuable role when used in moderation.

Ultimately it is up to you to indulge your vices ethically and responsibly. Sometimes we need to break our personal rules to reconnect with our spirit and humanity.

Healthier habits must be used in moderation. Overdoing even a good thing can hurt us but abstaining from doing them minimally out of fear or slothfulness is unwise.

I think we are supposed to scoop out our stress more than we swell our barrel.

Seedless Things & Tasty Treats

The stress inside our barrel has value. The way we minimize our stress determines how valuable it is and for what it is used.

No matter how careful we try to be, our stress water will splash from our barrel as we walk on the road of existence. The water that spills is the energy we use to feed our personal tree of life.

When our stress swells our barrel, the liquid inside stagnates. This bad water is gross and diseased and when it falls to the soil near our tree it feeds us with negative energy. The negative energy absorbs into our roots. Over time it flows through our trunk and into our branches. Rather than blooming beautiful fruit we sprout spoiled and seedless things.

When we scoop out our stress the water splashes at the foot of our tree. This liquid is clean and good and full of truth. The soil is eager to eat it and feeds the roots of our tree with positive energy. Over time it flows through our trunk and into our branches. Rather than sprouting spoiled and seedless things, it bears beautiful fruit the spirit loves to eat.

When we feed into vice the bad infiltrates our life. Everything we know loses its glow and our room becomes dark and dreary. The peace of boredom ceases, and we lose the ability to enjoy each sacred reprieve. When this occurs, our barrel becomes fat and immobile like an above ground pool. The negative energy permeates our existence to such a degree we can dive in and swim around.

Misery loves company and we often invite others to join the party. Some will use our misery as a vice, dabbling here and there to sample our suffering, but others will over-indulge and drown. Our burdens are ours to bare, and no matter how much we hurt we must help others avoid our crippling snare.

Our spirit needs certain scoobie snacks to dance and prance. She needs spectacular energy to sing her beautiful songs. She cannot replenish our heart when her tummy is hungry. She needs to know she can help weave peace, feel divine love, and have the safety of the soul’s adoration.

Our spirit is a little faerie creature who lives on the branches of the tree of life. Her meals are the juicy fruit that blooms from the flowers each night.

When our soil is sick and fed with stagnant energy our tree cannot offer her the things she needs to eat. When the spirit is hungry, she cannot be the beautiful creature we need her to be. We must encourage our flowers to bloom, build her a place to be one with her truth, and brighten the day so she can see through the darkness and gloom.

The spirit like any fae creature requires community. She needs more than things to eat, and places to feel free, she needs to receive the magical seeds of the tree of life.

She will search out souls to feed her what she needs. Hidden in her heart she hopes to find Father Owl to be her pal, but if she fails to find him, she will settle with an orbiting buzzard. She will scavenge whatever scraps she can from his frail frame, and though his energy will make her feel insane it will temporarily ease her hunger pains.

Other orbiters will be drawn to the stagnant pool of stress and their duress will make life a mess. Buzzards and rats and even flies will begin to dine on your life. The pool will swell again, it will become a pond, a lake, and even an ocean until the pain can no longer be negated by the vices of life.

As our body of stress grows it invites more unfortunate emotional creatures into our life.

Mother fox will cry and feel her heart die a little each night until the soul can no longer bear the burden of her hurt.

*Pain is the catalyst for change

We will exist in a perpetual state of complacent agony until our pain exceeds our capacity for suffering.

When this happens, we either choose to change, or we increase the size of our container.

The soul is this container.

The soul protects, provides, and professes to the spirit. When she is hurting it is his role to help her. The soul is the aspect of our essence that takes definite and exacting action. Though the soul is the one who takes charge in this moment he must rely on the wisdom of Father Owl to decide the correct course of action.

Pain is the catalyst for change

Pain for the sake of pain is useless. Pain without purpose is suffering.

Some chase pain for pleasure like a Cenobite from Clive Barker’s Hellraiser. I believe this desire is born from our Dark Parts. It can be exciting and dangerously fun, but it can also feed the roots of our tree of life with stagnant and spoiled energy.

Sometimes we hurt ourselves or seek others to hurt us, because we feel disconnected from our humanity, bored to our core, or lost. Chasing pain can be incredibly destructive, especially if used as a coping mechanism when life feels empty and hollow. In the second each slice of pain may reawaken our spirit, but it often leads to more sadness and suffering.

The most effective pain is the kind that occurs naturally. Artificially creating pain to encourage change is unhealthy.

The Forge of Pain

If we exist within the fires of the forge all we will ever know is pain. If we want pain to serve as the catalyst for change, we must have the wisdom to know when and how to pull our soul from the fire and hammer it into a tool.

Suffering ends when we give purpose to the pain. Until we have given it function it will never have form.

Our suffering is like a lump of steel smoldering within the flames of a forge. It lacks function until the blacksmith pulls it from the fire and forges it into a tool.

Father Owl is our blacksmith, and we will exist in a perpetual state of complacent agony until our pain exceeds our capacity for suffering. At this moment, pain will be our catalyst for change. It is the inspiration that harnesses our wisdom to forge our pain into a tool that enriches our existence.

How do we Cultivate Harmony between our Mind and Soul?

We must explore our knowledge by questioning our experiences, education, and evidence.  As wellness professionals it is our duty to analyze, evaluate, and criticize every scrap of knowledge fed to us.  If we want to know the truth, we must have an open mind and be willing to dissect every idea.

As we unearth new truths from the box of life, we must remain wise and empathetic to those who remain in the dark.  It can be traumatic to hear skeptical statements about our beliefs, so be patient and ready to listen.  No one can change anyone’s mind, transformation occurs from within, so be helpful, loving, and genuine to others and they will listen. 

Cultivating our own harmony requires creativity, empathy, and humility.  We must actively maintain our personal boundaries while inviting others to our island.  To truly achieve harmony, we must find equilibrium within ourselves and with others.  

Harmonizing our Sadness with Love

Give your soul zones like they are going out of style.

Open yourself up to others completely, and give everything you have, even when it leads to hurty times.

Love the world when it is shivering cold, especially when you feel bitter and alone.

Sing a song about silly times and shine.

Walk with a funny wobble from time-to-time and grind the sweetness from the rind of life.

Taste the delicious bits from the things you hold sacred and slice yourself a perfect piece of the pie.

Burn your candle from both ends and quickly jump over the candle stick.  Live your life and be true to the glue that gives your heart shape.  Illuminate the night with your glowy nimbus light, because inside of you is a ‘might’ that can make any darkness bright and bold.

We all fall off our center from time to time, and when we do it’s like falling off a bar stool. Sometimes it happens when the cosmos flutters pretty sights before our eyes, hiding us from the doldrums of our day. Other times the light of life is so bright it blinds us from actually seeing the darkness of the night.

We must have our center space. It has to be a place where we can feed others and eat. We need to feel free, warm, and able receive good, wholesome energy.  When we don’t have that center space everything else fades and we are made to wade through the murky swamp of our dark parts.

When you feel this way let go, pick yourself up, set your boundaries back in place, and rewrap yourself in the peaceful blanket of your center space.

Swim in the places that grant you peace. Surround yourself with the people who help you feel loved. Open the doorway to your heart and let others see the inside places where you hurt. Live boldly and hold your hands out to be held. Give yourself fully and welcome the pain every time things don’t pan out. Tend to your wounds when they open and love them when they close; and honor your scars by living your life.

Sadness

Swim in the places that grant you peace. Surround yourself with the people who help you feel loved. Open the doorway to your heart and let others see the inside places where you hurt. Live boldly and hold your hands out to be held. Give yourself fully and welcome the pain every time things don’t pan out. Tend to your wounds when they open and love them when they close.

What is sadness? It is a wellspring of love. It is a storm of tears. We can hide inside playing checkers by our lonesome, watching the rain droplets splatter against the glass, or we can step outside to play in the rain.

Love your sadness, wear it like a glove, and soon it will teach you to fly like a dove. Your wings will spread, and your feathers will flutter, and in due time you won’t even remember sliding down the drain.

Your face will be filled with smiles, and your heart will glow. The sun will reveal itself from the clouds above, and you will remember the radiant wonder of being in love.

The Plight of a Massage Professional

As massage therapists we serve as care takers and guides. We live a life dedicated to the enrichment of others, we guide people away from their strife, and help them achieve their highest quality life. We love what we do because there is no greater joy than watching another soul feel wonderful.

What happens when our world becomes filled with woe? Who massages away our aches and pains when troubling times begin eating our days? What happens when our glow begins to fade and our passion for helping others is replaced with anger and pain?

On the outside our profession may seem easy and great, but there are many within our industry who suffer each day. Inside their spirit is a desire to achieve something significant, a powerful purpose that has been hidden behind the shackles of the chains. They are yearning to learn how to free themselves from their suffering, yet there seems to be no purpose to the pain. They go to work and massage until they hurt, others go home and cry into the night.

Maybe their plight may seem silly and meaningless to you. You might say: “What is there to cry about? If you don’t like your job just switch to something else.”

When you have found your purpose there is no greater peace you can achieve. It is a liberating force greater than any storm, and its rain droplets can feed any forest. Its energy is incredible. Discovering your purpose is like marrying the soul mate of your dreams. Having it wrenched from you is terrible beyond belief. It can break your heart and tear you apart.

Massage is more than a job; it is a calling. It is an avenue for loving souls to help make the world wonderful. When their ability to serve in a meaningful way is stolen, they become bitter, their approach becomes cold, and they live the worst parts of being an old soul.

Our road is a difficult path to walk because we were never supposed to do it alone. We are meant to have mentors and guides, to have people by our side to inspire us when our fiery light begins to fade.

As massage therapists we need each other. We must serve one another as care takers and guides. If we want to live a life dedicated to the enrichment of others, we need someone to guide us away from our strife and help us live our highest quality life. Without these reminders we will lose sight of our significance, and the satisfaction of serving others.

When your world becomes filled with woe, go to someone who knows your plight as a professional. Share your soul with them, ask them to massage away your aches and pains, and have them lead you away from your troubling times. Ask for their shoulder as you cry into the night and rediscover what it is like to live with purpose, peace, and love.

What is love? 

Love cannot be defined in the same way as sadness.  It is an action, they are words spoken, so listen, and see if through my words you can witness how I define love.

“The world tortures us in unimaginable ways.  It spins us in circles within its spider silk so it can suck out everything we hold dear.  This monster makes us fear the things that draw us near, so we pull away and allow our inner might to crumble from our internal fight.  I cannot know what you feel from day to day, or how you force yourself to see the goodness when your nerves are frayed.  All I know is that your heart often hurts, and this makes me sad.”

“I want you to explore the wonder of the world and escape the sticky mess of your misery. If I could, I would move mountains for you and raise you high into the sky.  I would show you there is love inside your soul that makes your eyes glow.  I would teach you to use this inner light to see through the darkness of the night If I could, I would introduce you to your spirit and ask her to tell you what things you should cherish.   I would ask her to hold you close and guide you with an open hand I would ask her to give you some love and hug you with every ounce of her essence.  I want you to live with harmony and feel happy I want you to know peace and explore the delightfulness of serenity.  And ultimately at the end of every day I want to set you free.”

Giving someone love doesn’t mean giving them more attention than anyone else. It means allocating the amount and the kind they need. It is an expression of truth and honesty that is free of self-obsession and compulsion. It is more than the desire to fill a lonely void. It is a complex matrix of goodness and self-preservation that illuminates the life of two lives.

If our “love” is born from the need of desperate emotional greed everyone will see and feel the fruit you offer is corrupted at the source of the tree. This will lead others to stray from the energy you are willing to give, because they will instinctively know your energy is sour and spoiled. Love must be pure and free and powered by confidence and strength if you seek to be loved in the way you need.

Hurting Hearts

When someone we love is hurting our heart compels us to help them.  We want to say things like:

“You are beautiful, amazing, and significant in ways you cannot see. There is a light within your life that has been shrouded by the darkness of the moonless night.  Your nimbus glow has been wrapped with sadness and it has clouded your ability to see the magic of every moment. I believe that once you learn to peel away the tape holding you down you will stop feeling like you are drowning.”

Our Starlight Guide Lets us Know we are Loved

We can see it by and feel it by how they treat us.  Ask yourself who is your starlight guide?

Is it an angel in the sky, a hopeful thought flying high, maybe it’s the wind against your skin?  How does this nimbus light guide you toward your inner might? Does it pull the tendrils from your soul and make all the tart things taste sweet? Does it make your heart beat, and lead you to dance with your feet? Does it wrap you in a blanket of heavenly warmth when you are cold and alone?

Your starlight guide is more than a toy elf on the shelf.  It is more than sweet nothings in your ear and musical melodies that set the mood. They are a force greater than any distraction. They are a dream of epic proportions, a powerful light in the depths of the deep darkness. They are fleeting and easy to lose, they are diamonds in the rough, and more beautiful than sparkling gold. They are our anchors, and they hold us down. Their weight keeps our ship from drifting in the sea. They give us time to swim, fish, and eat.

Our starlight guide nourishes our soul zones and help us feel at home. They give us hope and remind us to make the most of our moments, and wipe the tears from our eyes, as they remind to live our life.

Sometimes they sing us a song into our ear.

It is a beautiful ballad of joy, and it encourages us to frolic and sing with a spectacular voice. It is magical and marvelous and mystical in all the rights ways. It is our greatest friend, the one that encourages us to win, and has taught us to swim. It’s a song that invigorates our spirit and reminds us to cherish every second.

Every time we hear this song it makes our heart swell. But sometimes it slips through our hands and our day becomes dark and filled with gloom.

This beautiful ballad is the song of hope, and as long as we are willing to listen, its words will give us the will to have hope and possess the ability to cope.

Find Ways to Inspire Others with your Sadness

Speckled shadows and hushed tones, there are secrets about you we will never know. In many ways you are an enigma, a puzzle box, a mysterious soul, and when others look into your eyes they pulse and glow. When you walk, you slide through life, because you are slippery, clean, and able to overcome anything. You are powerful, magical, and delightfully bold, and when you hug others, they can feel your soul.

You are loving and loved. The spirit of the world wraps around you like a pretty glove, and when push comes to shove you live peacefully like a graceful dove. The stars in your spirit are things we should cherish because you were born from a supernatural mold. You are more valuable than gold and your heart is angelic and pure. You are passionate, purposeful, and something others adore. You are the gateway to goodness, the key we all need, and an inspiration to set ourselves free.

We need someone to hear us when we are suffering, guide us through our troubling times, and acknowledge our humanity. Few guides exist, and fewer are willing to sacrifice their time to walk us through the night. Without a hand to hold we often aimlessly wander lost and confused. We stumble through the darkness into terrible snares. There are only so many traps we can escape before our hope is stolen away and we begin to believe no one loves or cares.

When the world begins to fill you with woe, and you feel like you have no where to go it is time to take a break, discover adventure, and replenish your spirit. When you rise from your pit of despair you will take a deep breath of air, you will learn to light your own lamp. You will raise it with your hand and illuminate your camp. You will invite others under your arm and form a band. You will show others how to dance and sing and live with glee. You will become the person others need when they feel like their cries fall on deaf ears. Your wisdom and hardships will enlighten and uplift them. You will show them the way so they may avoid the same things you have faced, and there will be a new guide to help others through their troubling times.

Find Ways to Soothe and Inspire your Spirit

We are often our own butcher. We slice and dice our soul into morsels until we have lost all hope. Then we eat our own strips of flesh as we doubt our ability to shout. We shrink ourselves until we are weak and small.

Once we are no longer able to stand we hunch our shoulders and become weak. We begin to believe we can no longer be free. We trade away our liberty for creature comforts until we are fat and frail, and we wonder why we always fail.

You can reverse your steps. You can become strong and stand tall. You will become powerful and purposeful. Your reach is great indeed. You can feed your soul, become unstoppable, and transform into the spirit you need to be.

Sometimes Music Can be the Answer

Music is born from our scars and lessons learned. It is a testament of where we once were and what we are attempting to achieve. A musician is a wizard and with their wands they orchestrate powerful incantations that enchant our soul.

Each song is a story carefully crafted to touch our heart. Some may be bitter, perhaps even tart, but none are bad, because every song is a sweet treat for someone. Like flavors of gum, some of us love strawberry yum, blueberry blue, or even stale sticks that taste like glue. We all have different tongues and eardrums, and our favorites can change from day to day, moment to minute.

Every melody is magnificent, each has a beat designed to help move your feet, and feel fantastic.

Music encourages us to ride the waves of life. It inspires us to move, to laugh, and groove. When we hear a majestic melody our shoulders shift from side to side, our hips sway, and we feel alive. Music is life. It helps us let go of strife, guides us through challenging times, and inspires us to create with our mind. We can listen to music to help live with love, to embolden our bravery when we feel weak and shy, or simply dance with the divine.

It can be experienced in many ways. The same song on a CD will be heard differently on live tv, with friends at an event, or when played on vinyl. An uplifting song can irritate us in seconds when we need to feel sad. An aggressively angry melody can encourage peace in moments when we are mad.

Music is pleasurable, but it is also a tool. When we take the time to explore ourselves we will learn how to sculpt our existence with its energy. We will have the ability to set ourselves free, to become who we need to be, and live gleefully.

Sometimes Writing Can be the Answer

Tonight I dare you to sit and write. Use your mind’s eye and travel back in time. Pick a day when your heart was warm and safe. Long before the indirect darkness started tearing your heart apart. Transform your haunting song into a sweet little dream. Find your skeleton key, unlock your shackles and set yourself free. Emerge from the shadows and become a living memory.

How many words do you know? When you speak them do they make your heart glow? Do they share a slice of your spirit, do they encourage others to radiate grace? Do they manifest memories of magnificent moments?

Words are more than ink scratches on paper, they are musical notes. They play melodies encouraging hope, helping others cope, and build places for people to call home.

Words spun together are more than insignificant sentences. They are lullabies capable of leading others into a deep sleep, to discover some rest, and digest the day. They can mend broken hearts, sweeten a week that has been tart, and give others an opportunity to have a new start.

What makes you want to write?

What do you love about sharing your soul with the world? What lights the fire of your creative furnace and inspires you to put pen to paper? Writing is about emotions, it is a celebration of our existence. If you want to create beautiful stories you need to tap into the vibrant light of life, and remember why you write.

Far too often people offer swift suggestions on how to finish a manuscript. They say all you need is ‘discipline’ to find your way. I think this is the worst advice we can bestow to aspiring writers. Our spark doesn’t come from discipline, it is born from the raw energy of our soul. We put pen to paper in moments when our soul begins to glow. This might not be energy that is beautiful and bold, it may be dim and limp, we might write because we hurt or are afraid. Each word you scribble onto the page is a manifestation of something great. It is a powerful force that courses through your veins, a feeling few can explain, and when we jot these thoughts down it helps us feel sane.

If you want to become the creator you were born to be, you must learn to celebrate your creative dreams. You must savor each second and discover new ways to share your imagination. Stop hyper focusing on things, when your fuel tank is almost empty step away, do a dance, sing a song, paint a picture, or simply whisper a few rhymes.

Sometimes a little time away from the object of your affection is enough to rekindle the flame of your creative fire.

What is your relationship with words?

How do you see and treat them? As a writer they need to be your closest friends. They are your greatest love, and your eternal partner. Like a lover they should imbue you with power, help you stand against the tide of time, and explore the spectacular sensations of life.

Words are magnificent creatures. Sometimes they are pets we cherish at home, other moments they are wild animals roaming the fields of Rohan. In certain instances, they radiate a greatness that can inspire us to achieve any goal or sour our soul until we feel lost and dull. Words carry weight, they can be light as a feather, burdensome as a bull, and even tiny to the eye. They can be cumbersome, bold, awkward, and overused. Each word is a character in of itself, and when linked with others they can become a lovely stew, a sweet lemon pie, or even a slimy slop.

Every aspiring writer eventually experiences a certain stage. It is a phase of misguided obsession, a drive to fight against the energy of intent, it is a mechanical state of the mind, and the inability to see the spirit of a word. It is a time when a writer cannot read between the lines, subtext becomes meaningless, and connotations are lost.

Our love fades, and the bond we have with words begins to break. Just like in relationships we must remain aware of the health of our pairing. When our ties begin to unwind, we must open our eyes and heart. We must witness why our relationship is unraveling and take the time to heal our weary parts.

How do we know when our relationship with words no longer has a divine glow?

When our third eye of writing becomes blind, we lose sight of the wonder within each word. They lose their magnificence, and we stop cherishing them. We fence in the wild ones and place our favorites inside cages. They stop radiating greatness as they are sapped of their significance, and as a result every word becomes boring and old.

When we speak, our sentences lose flow, our messages become cold, and when others read us, they see a writer that is bitter and without hope.

When you find yourself within this hole, reach out with all you might. Wipe the muck and mud from your eyes and find ways to celebrate the wonderful days of life.

You are magical, spectacular, and can once again be bold. You can be brilliant and sweet and showcase every word in a way that sets your heart free.

You are a writer, a creator, and a designer of dreams, and soon you will make your own a reality.

Write The Words of Your Heart

You can write without the propellant, but it will drain away your joy. If creating amazing stories is your purpose it must be fed with passion. We need inspiration, cultivation, and fun. Not every project is a delightful one to do, I spend many hours a week creating professional pieces unrelated to my personal projects. But, even in those projects, I tap into the spirit of my purpose and fuel it with my passion. I find a way to make them fun. Discipline is not responsible for the content I create. It is grit, and love, and a passion for life. It is a desire to help others navigate through their strife. If you can tap into the source of your power, you won’t need to lock yourself at your desk to scribble away in dismay. The words will find you when they are ready, and it will press your pen against the paper to create amazing stories throughout the day.

Sometimes Reading is the Answer

Sometimes we need to sprinkle some inspiration into our day, perhaps add a little extra pep into our step to smile and say nice things. If you need a few rhymes to raise your spirit, give a handful of my encouraging words a read, and hopefully it will help you wash away some of your woe. You will see as you read how my positive words flow, and be reminded that life is delightful, dreamy, and magical indeed.

Soon you will begin to glow as we open your eyes to the inspiration of old times. You will reach for the sky with a flutter of your wings, and with your might you will fly high into the heavens above like a peaceful little dove. You will wear your heart on the outside and live with love as you learn that inspiration is the key to living a life that feels free. You will discover life is beautiful, majestic and powerful as can be. It is a treasure to be held, a delightfulness to be felt, and a gift everyone needs to be dealt.

So come with me and dance with glee. Grab an old book and put it in your pack, eat a snack and relearn to laugh. Raise your arms, and wiggle your feet, maybe even spend some time under your favorite tree. And with a little time, I am certain you will see that in every second is a treat.

Sometimes Seeing the Good in the Bad is the Answer

What is beautiful about a tummy ache? They often make us feel like a slug, perhaps a little bit grouchy and overall just uhg. When our stomach hurts we want to just lay there until the hurt rolls away, even if that means resting the whole day. It is a squirmy, wormy, whirlwind of yuck, especially as it spins around in our gut. Sometimes it is so dizzying and gross it makes us want to throw our food from our mouth.

So, with that said, what is so beautiful about a tummy ache? It is a sign we are alive, and though it hurts it is a sensation that can remind us of the divine. It can guide us toward good things by teaching us what to eat. It can remind us of the delightful times, by encouraging us to rhyme when we hurt.

A tummy ache isn’t always awful, it may be uncomfortable, but as with anything it can lead to better things.

Sometimes Filtering Life Through the Lens of Love is the Answer

Filter the words of others through the lens of love. Give goodness for the sake of goodness.

The venom of anger and hurt can be intoxicating. It is a fire hotter than any sun, bolder than the thickest font, and more dangerous than swimming with hungry sharks.

Our hurt thrives on misery. When threatened our fearful heart flies into a frenzy and swarms like a colony angry of bees. It encourages us to sting relentlessly until our passion pushes others away and darkens our day.

Embrace empathy and rediscover your humanity, breathe and find your humility. Take some time to rest, welcome love into your life, and digest the day by exploring your creativity.

Within the peacefulness of each passing second you will witness that you are more than your hurt. You are greater than the sum of your scars, and dark parts. You are magnificent and strong. You are incredible and tall. Your reach is immeasurably massive, and your influence is vast and powerful.

Within your soul is something significant. It is a force, a radiant essence able to heal any hurt, a wisdom richer than any dirt, and a loving purpose worth pursuing.

You can have the peace you need. You can once again feel free to dance and sing. You can raise your arms toward the sky and rediscover how to live your life.

You can begin this journey by opening your heart. Start by letting go of your strife by filtering the words of others through the lens of love and giving goodness for the sake of goodness.

The Stone Grinder of our Soul

Soon I will be done, and I will be laying in the sun. I will be chewing chewing-gum, while drinking some delicious liquid yum-yum.

On this day an old door will close and a new one will open, and another amazing adventure will begin again.

Our lives are strung together by a series of silver cords. They connect our soul zones to other islands. These intricate wrappings of spirit silk must be maintained to keep them connected. Without a little love they eventually fray and break.

The breaking of these bonds are beautiful gifts, it may not seem like it in the moment, but entropy is our friend. The end of one path leads to the inevitable start of a new journey. Sometimes we must walk through some grass, or corn, maybe a forest of flowers, but it always leads to something spectacular.

So, if you are ready to let go, allow those ropes to unwrap and listen to them snap. Step away and watch its frayed strings pull away. Take a breath and rest, because your next adventure is going to be better than any you’ve had in the past.

You too will be done, and you will be laying in the sun. You will be chewing chewing-gum, while drinking some delicious liquid yum-yum.

You’ll have new silvery cords connecting you to beautiful islands and your new open door will be delightful.

Do you have a relationship with the stone grinder of your soul? Do you know how to turn it on? When you activate it what do you do with the crushed bits, bricks, and powder it makes?

I create new things with the potential of old, I recycle the bits, bricks, and powder to pave a new road. You can too.

Be the infomercial of your soul and search for new ways to reach your goal. Take the dirt from old paths and use the clay to craft a pot for your peace.

Exploring the Stone Grinder of our Soul

What is the Stone Grinder of our soul, and what does it do?  It is the tool we use to cut our emotional ties and move forward in life.  It gives us the ability to stop hurting when we spend time with someone who doesn’t provide our spirit and soul zones the scoobie snacks they like to eat.  I have used the Stone Grinder of my soul many times through out my life to find my footing and it always comes with the expense of tremendous duress. 

• We must touch the object of our affection long enough for it to burn our hand, then let go, so that over time we retain ourselves to know nothing good with come from being exposed to the flame.
• We must be more than generous with how we approach the object of our affection and give more than we normally would.  To use our stone grinder it requires us to dangerously dive in into the murky waters of our heart.  It is essential to see that no matter what we do or say nothing will change.  Breaking a bond is best achieve through love, attention, and actions that will prevent the possibility of regret. 
• We must wear our spirit so thin in our approach that it forces us to experience several moments of immense discomfort.  Great change only occurs with incredible discomfort, we must feel the completeness of our intention.  This does two things, one it gives the relationship one final chance to fix itself, because if we are able to transform our object of affection with love, then maybe there is a chance it can become something.  If it doesn’t then we can end it without any regret of not doing enough.

Discovering Harmony and Hope

How whole is your heart? Is it rickety? Does it crackle and pop as you move and stretch? Is your heart aged, worn, and weathered? Has its color dimmed? Are its edges frayed and falling apart? Do you feel alone and lost?

Inside our heart is a little home. It has been furnished with many silly things. Sometimes it houses the greatest force of silliness we will ever know, and her name is hope.

Hope is a cute little mouse, she is fragile and fast, and she often slips between our fingers like grains of sand. She is not a pet; she is a force of nature. No leash can keep her close or prevent her from running astray. She is wild, unrelenting, and unstoppable.

We are meant to lose hope because she will always run when we stop feeding her. When she leaves we are left with only our heart. We must develop a relationship with our heart, to love our inside zones, and take care of hope’s home in her absence. We must learn to thrive even when she cannot be by our side and especially when we no longer feel alive.

How do we find hope? We must give hope to have hope. We must give our wisdom to those seeking to learn from our experiences. We must give goodness when all we know is hurt. We must give goodness when all we know is greatness. Hope is intangible and magical and cannot be held in our hand. The only way we can discover hope is by helping others with our heart.

It doesn’t matter if your heart is whole. Everyone’s heart feels rickety, they all crackle and pop as they move and stretch, and they are all aged, worn and weathered.

What matters is how you use your heart to help others, because with your gift of goodness you will find hope.

Sometimes we need the spark of life to reignite our ignition. We need a reason to turn the key and drive forward.

Our vehicle on the road of life may be insured, in good repair and ready with a full tank of gas, but if we believe we have nowhere to go, we often sit and wait until life passes us by.

Sometimes we need a special soul to remind us that life is a journey. That the best road trips are the ones without a destination. We need to be told that the pleasure of the ride is why we drive.

So, where do you see yourself? Are you standing on a cold empty street with a chilling wind at your back? Are you surrounded by souls who seem vacant and without a soul? Are you lost and wandering through a desert of desolation?

Are you super charged with a roaring energy with nowhere to race? Are there more options and paths at your toe tips that leave you in a state of not knowing where to go?

You are not alone. We all slip into this state from time to time. Everything is going to be fine. You will discover your way, relearn to cherish every second and find your perfect place.

Soon a time will come when the world begins to make sense. You will be surrounded by people who encourage you to walk the right way, people who love you, and won’t lead you astray.

You will know peace and harmony. Your heart will be filled with hope and your life will feel like heaven on earth.

All wounds must heal, and the hurt you feel will one day fade. It is easy to feel dismayed, to fall into a deep dark sea, and get pounded by the waves of uncertainty.

These feelings are fleeting, this agony will pass. The waters will carry you through the storm, guide you away from your islands of isolation, and show you to your paradise of peace.

Your Divine Spark

If you cannot see your own Divine Spark, you cannot illuminate the way to explore the Divine Spark of another.

What lights your flame in the morning?  What catalyst pushes you forward?  The answer is not God in of itself, but the gift He has given you.

Let go of the words that are trapping you in your own suffering, because the language you use in life creates a personal prison of your own making.  Break the bonds of your own self imprisonment, stop celebrating your weaknesses, embrace your strengths, and illuminate the dark with your divine spark.

Once you see this divinity a truth will be revealed to you:

“We do everything we do because we want to, even when we don’t want to.”

You are the arbiter of your own existence, you make all of the decisions, you are the one who is in control, and you are the only soul who pays the consequence when you pretend to give away control.

No one can take that from you.  Stop crying about how people have manipulated you.  Instead, start crying about how you have chosen to manipulate yourself.  Shed tears on how you have indulged your own weaknesses and chosen to give into society’s want for you to be weak.  You are more than the sum of your suffering; you are a golden star in the sky that burns so brilliantly it guides every ship at sea.  Inside your heart you already have everything you need to be at peace, to achieve your dreams, and live your purpose. 

Aren’t you tired of living by the whimsical opinions of other lost souls?  Doesn’t it get old? 

We live in a society where everyone and their dog wants to label people this ism, and that ism, or this disease or that disease.  The blame is always placed on something, or someone else before themselves.  This is the rot of our society, and if you look inwardly, you will see how it is eating away the soft spots of your day.

Light a candle and place a flame to some incense and burn away these terrible thoughts that haunt your sacred spots.  Make it your goal to get to know the goodness of your soul.  Meditate on marvelous things and claim the personal power you have always had.  Take your thoughts back, stop shaping your life by the ignorance of others by searching for your Divine Spark.

What is your Divine Spark?  Have you ever asked yourself what makes you, you?  Have you ever searched for the place where your soul always heals, or do you leave it to chance and time to heal all wounds?  Many will quickly answer this question with “my love for God”, or “God’s love toward humanity”, but this is easy, and it is an absent answer.  It lacks introspection, and it fails to use the greatest gift God has granted us.  If His love alone was enough, we would have no use for freewill. 

God wants his children to act like adults, to take time to understand his words, and live life as a free and loving soul.  His goal is the same we have for all of our children, we are made in his image, so we must search inwardly, see the light of our life, heal our own hurt, take responsibility for all of our actions, and give goodness, for goodness’s sake.

Be strong, give love and radiate the peace of a dove for the reward in this life, not for the one in the hereafter.  If we want to experience true harmony, and to exist in the presence of others without the drag of our dark parts pulling us toward terrible places, we must have the strength to be vulnerable, to reveal our tender spots, and glow with the greatest brilliance anyone will ever know.

Let go of the words that are trapping you in your suffering, break the bonds of your own self imprisonment, stop celebrating your weaknesses, embrace your strengths, and illuminate the dark with your divine spark.

Unusual humans search for a certain spark that will light their flame. No ordinary match or lighter will do. Sometimes it takes a bold blowtorch to create the conflagration they need.

How do we find this flame?  Sometimes we are granted insight into the things we have failed to see. Our society is so afraid of criticism we actively cripple our growth because we are unaware of what is holding us back.

I love pure, honest criticism, because it is the only way I can achieve the excellence of my dreams. There is no greater pleasure than watching someone overcome the fear of being truly and absolutely honest. There is no greater degree of vulnerability, and it is the most beautiful gift anyone can ever receive.

At first it hurts, but like any developing muscle, the pain is a part of the game. Turmoil, uncertainty, and sweet suffering are gifts that grant us gratitude for the things that set us free. Every lick from the whip of life builds scars on our back that help us bear the burden of future hurt.

Honesty lets us sample the Divine Light of our Heaven above. It is true, and real, and wonderful in all the right ways.

Truth is a pleasure that hurts worse than any agony because it makes us face our darkness. It sheds light on our life and forces us to see our failings. It hurts because it is real, and vulnerable, and powerful. It is the gateway to greatness, and I live for these incredible seconds when the world is more than boring doldrums, and rote reactions.

We are surrounded by so many falsehoods, so much fear, and weakness that seconds like these seem horrible. They are so much more. They are gifts from God, moments when we are touched by the divine and reminded that we are alive.

Exploring Criticism

I love to learn, especially when the ideas are deep and hold meaning. I adore being shown ideas beyond my daily snores, ones that slice through the doldrums of my day and lead me to reflect on my ways. Honesty is beautiful, magnificent, and bold. Sometimes when others analyze our soul, we tend to think the statements are cold, and they make us want to fold. These are gifts that should be cherished, especially when they are offered with love. Truly, how can we ever expect to help others find their way, if we refuse to listen to the observations others make about our day.

This is a skill every creative needs to sample, because if you intend to ever share your inner essence, you must train yourself so that criticism doesn’t feel like a snare. I know it can be scary, and strange, but when you accept it, the reflection will lead to better days. You will burn more vibrantly than you ever did before, and it will pull you away from your snores. The doldrums will fade, and you will grow stronger each day.

Many people claim to be open to criticism, they request it, but they are unwilling to hear the words when they are spoken. Listening to our flaws and faults is challenging, it requires vulnerability, humility, and empathy. These are qualities that are often absent in most of the people we meet. Though we cannot change the realities of others, we may affect our own, and over time our tales may teach them to learn from their own experiences.

Most of us are aware of our dark parks and shortcomings, but we often refuse to see them. Why is this so? It hurts too much to touch old wounds, especially when we have failed to take care of them. Though some wounds may heal on their own, many do not, and when we neglect them, they often fester and rot.

This is why we must actively engage our pain. We must explore our wounds to find the source of our agony. Through this introspection we can develop a relationship with our hardships. Over time we can learn to love them, so when we are granted the gift of loving criticism, we can accept each wise word from the razor-sharp slash of honesty’s edge.

Outside input is a wonderful gift, but only when it is offered with harmonious intent. When it is forced upon us suddenly it becomes an insult, we react quickly and recoil. It is jarring, hurtful, and many times our reactions become unpredictable.

It is our responsibility to train ourselves for criticism so we can accept its beautiful blessings. If the time is right, and our center is wrong others will witness our insecurity and they will shy away from sharing their thoughts with us.

As humans, especially in society’s age of weakness, we do everything we can to avoid pain, even when the discomfort lasts only seconds. This fear encourages a negative wheel to rotate, and when it moves it encourages more negativity. Over time it snowballs and the hardship we attempted to avoid becomes the tree we crash into.

To be open to criticism we must take the time to create a doorway that may be opened by others. Achieving this is easier said than done, because it requires homework, self-reflection, and the willingness to see our own faults and failings. An open mind requires humility, we must possess the ability to accurately assess our value, empathize with others, and creatively navigate solutions. We must have the confidence to listen, give others time to speak, and process their words.

To accept criticism, we must also have a relationship with how to give it. Sometimes we offer criticism because our ego is telling us to do so. We feel threatened, so we must insult others to protect ourselves. Sometimes we offer criticism because we lack humility and have lost sight of the gift we are attempting to give. In these moments we criticize others in ways we would never criticize ourselves. We weigh others by scales that we would never weigh ourselves by.

Accepting and granting criticism is the way to a harmonious heart. It is the path to pure peace, and wonderful intent. The more we are willing to accept critical truth into our life, the better our lives will become.

Discovering Humility

Sometimes in life we encounter horror so great it breaks our bridge to the divine. These seconds are so traumatic they render us broken and blind. In my journey I have experienced this many times, and it has granted me insight into things I wish to wash from my mind.

Within these horrors are our greatest gifts. Sometimes having our divinity sliced from our life can illuminate the realities our healthy eyes could never see. For me it was the discovery of my humility.

When I was a boy, my childhood was stolen at an early age. The evils of the world forced me to feel pain no child should ever face.

My trials of terror tossed me into in the trenches of despair, and although my spirit was tortured, I could feel the radiant light of the divine.

Unfortunately, this was about to change.

There was a definitive moment in my childhood when my bridge was shattered into bits. I was 15 and the sight I saw forever changed me. Thankfully most of these memories have been deleted by the stone grinder of my own mind, but the worst ones linger like a pointed finger placed between my eyes.

I remember riding down a lonely highway with my parents on a sweltering summer day. I remember a hospital waiting room filled with boring seats and stale decor. But the worst memory was with my brother. His face was crushed and mangled beyond repair. The smell of the room was haunting, I can still taste it to this day. There were beeps and bleeps of machines combined with a cacophony of slurping sounds and painful groans. Tears of fear and my hurting heart dripped from my eyes as I stared at my brother’s torpid body. He was wrapped in tendrils of darkness and sterile light, and this intensified the horror of the terrible night.

I should have never been allowed to see this. No child should see this. My heart hurts for the child-me who sat at his side watching his unconscious body writhe.

I don’t blame my parents, they’re humans just like you and me. It was an impossible situation and I know their hearts were in a frenzy.

Ultimately this was a horrendous time for my family, it changed all of us. A part of me died that day and it would take nearly ten years for my divine light to begin seeping back into my life.

Woe is me! I was only an observer of my brother’s horror. His life was destroyed in a single second, and he has been forced to live his entire life as a blind, fractured man. I want to cry as I write this because it hurts so much. Everything was stolen from him and that horror breaks my mind. He didn’t deserve this, no one deserves this!

I watched him crawl from nothing and slowly become something, but he wasn’t the powerful, masculine man I once knew. As a boy I couldn’t handle it and it drove me deeper into my own darkness.

I used to watch and wonder how he could find so much joy in life and be so positive. When it comes to the scales of optimism, he is the optimist supreme! If you were to ever meet him, you too would surely know that his spirit gives off the greatest glow.

My story is about pain and suffering, but it is also about introspection and insight. Losing my connection with the divine gave me the time to witness how much wonder there is to treasure in a world of woe.

It taught me that even though our lives often feel unfair and saturated with despair, hope will always be with us when we need to cope.

Ultimately it planted the seeds of humility within me, so that one day they could sprout, grow, and bloom.

Discovering Empathy

Sometimes life grants us the ability to empathize in impossible ways by paving a road with pain. When my bridge to the divine was broken it came with gifts that took me decades to receive.

One of the gifts was humility, which I mentioned earlier, but it also granted me the ability to empathize in impossible situations, and creatively navigate life.

Everything has a cost especially our greatest gifts. What price did I pay?

When our bridge to the divine is broken it causes catastrophic damage to how we navigate our day. It’s slices away the cosmic significance of our suffering and steals our ability to productively cope.

Following my brother’s car accident my existence spiraled into a hopeless nightmare of wayward loneliness. Witnessing his horrific visage and continued torment burned a new dark part into my soul. It was a wound that could not be mended, or resolved, and so it became a terrible, unhealable scar. Every time my eyes saw his horror it ravaged my heart. My pain was so great it made me want to escape, and overtime it hardened my skin until the pleasure of happiness was replaced with sadness.

I did not know this then, but we all need a place to rest, relax, and replenish. Our spirit must have a space to soften our soul. She needs pillows, sweet smells, and terrific touches to massage her husband back to full strength. Our spirit needs her husband to be strong, powerful, and unstoppable. She needs him because they are a team, and our existence is only as strong as our weakest link. She knows that if he is weak and asleep, he will not be able to protect her or feed her what she needs.

In this time of my life, I had very few soft spots to rest my little heart, and as a child this was tearing me apart.

For the next few years, I was left to my own devices. My parents were focused on helping him relearn how to live.

I learned to hide my hurt as best as I could. My family was in a constant state of emergency, and I didn’t want to trouble them with my aching heart.

I spent a lot of time by myself listening to music and writing in my room. My parents were always so tired, or busy, and so there wasn’t much left for me. I do not hold this against them, they were doing their best, and ultimately, they too needed a soft place to lay their head and rest.

Life requires a lot of empathy, and humility to navigate it effectively. We must be creative in our approach, so we can interconnect our experiences to gain the most wisdom we can from them.

My cancer story and my brother’s terrible accident has powerful interconnected elements.

When my cancer journey began it started with a bang. For the first two weeks after my pneumonectomy, I lived in unbelievable pain.

Sometimes I reflect on the horrors my loved ones faced as they watched me writhe, scream, and plead in agony. It saddens me to know how heart breaking that must have been for them. For some of my friends my surgery, and jaunt through chemotherapy has irreparably damaged our bond. Though this saddens my spirit, my soul understands.

The sights and sounds they have experienced are haunting. They can never be forgotten. These terrors can ride with us for the rest of our life, and sometimes when we see our loved one’s face it takes us back to these terrible times.

If we truly love someone, we have a deep need to help, protect, and feed them. We want to see them whole and live their greatest life. I cannot fault someone I love for trying to avoid me, if being in my presence forces them to endure strife.

These kinds of situations are often hard for many of us to articulate or understand. Hardship and hurt has far reaching injuries that are often obfuscated from our eyes. Thankfully the horrors of my past helped me understand and accept the haunting reality of my loved ones when they became distant and detached. I cannot fault them, or hold it against them, because there is no greater hurt than being harmed by the presence of someone we love.

The parallels between these two stories is that my brother’s accident crippled my soul for life. It burned a dark part into my heart that I cannot heal. Though I have since rebuilt my bridge to the divine, being in his presence still hurts my spirit and mind.

This insight grants me empathy for those who love me but feel the same.

Call me selfish and weak if you need to. I know how unfair this may sound, but in life we must find ways to plant our feet on the ground.

I try to give to him and hold his hand when I can, but it’s hard to fly too close to the sun when my wings are made of wax.

Ultimately this is the price I have paid for humility, the ability to empathize in impossible situations, and creatively navigate life.

Discovering Creativity

When we journal, we open our vortices to pour out sour and silly energy. It is a beautiful practice, and one of the most delightful exercises for our spirit.

Journaling is to our spirit as yoga is to our body. It stretches and strengthens, but it loses many of its benefits when we fail to breathe like our body needs.

Journaling is great, but the practice is often incomplete. Simply scribbling our thoughts and feels onto a piece of paper may release the burdens from our barrel, but when the rain returns it will once again be filled to the brim.

There are two steps most of us miss. These manifest as important scoobie snacks for the mind and the soul.

Our soul needs to be a part of the venting process so that he can exercise his strength and purpose for his wife. He does this by being there with her when she cries, then taking action to protect her from future hurt. In journaling he accomplishes this by recycling her tears into triumph. He takes her woe and transforms it into something wonderful. Doing this allows him to eat some scoobie snacks, and by doing so, it replenishes our soul zones as he fixes something that has been broken.

In the context of journaling this means he will gleam the goodness from her hurt, then make it into something marvelous and magical. Simply put he rewrites her hurt into something that will guide our future self and bring some light into the lives of others.

Most of my writing is accomplished using this method and it has allowed me to overcome and prevent my spirit from spiraling out of control.

The next time you journal rewrite what you have just written by turning it into an uplifting message for someone else. When you do this, you will feel a release greater than any sadness scribble you have ever written.

Then rewrite it one final time. Give your vented steam to your mind and provide it the chance to analyze the hurt and healing you have endured. With patience, and purposefulness it will serve as your governor to create roads, walls, and borders to build new boundaries.

This act will place a shield above your barrel. It will serve as a roof to drain away your recurring pain. The rain will find its way into its proper places, it will feed the plants within your garden of truth. In this place your soul will cultivate each plant so it may transform them into delicious scoobie snacks.

In the end your mind will have the time to package some of these delicious delights, so it may serve your spirit with a supper when our scoobie snacks become scarce.

Intuition of the Soul

Sometimes little slivers slip into our eyes. They slice into our sight stealing away our delights. Leaving us with a hurting heart feeling hollow and helpless. Desperately we scream to return to the memories of where we used to be.

The darkness dimming your eyes will once again be bright. You will return to the light and have vision once again. This is not the twilight, the sun will rise and you will take back your life. The splinters in each eye might hurt and burn, but you are bold and beautiful. Your soul is old and wise and you will once again rise.

Minimizing the hurt we inflict on others and ourselves

By taking time to explore how we perceive, experience, and process reality we can gain insight into how we judge. This will assist in minimizing the hurt we inflict on others and ourselves.

There are various aspects of our existence we can look at, these include our naivety, flawed perceptions, the degree of our self-deification, are we well rested, are we meditating, and the manner in which we manage the stick shift of our decision-making process.

Our incorporeal union uses our body to navigate the world. It is a vehicle, and like a car it has many gadgets and tools. If we dedicate time to learning how to drive and understand our vehicle, we will enjoy more moments throughout the road trip of life.

Naivety and Old Souls

In certain circles the term old soul is thrown around a lot. Somehow everyone and their dog is an old soul. In many instances this term is used among those who believe in reincarnation. In the context of this conversation the existence of reincarnation is irrelevant. What matters is how we define what an old soul means.

If it simply reflects how long, we have lived and the number of experiences we have endured the term becomes meaningless. I’ve met many old people who lack wisdom and common sense even though they have existed over sixty years.

Experience and hardship alone are not enough to quantify the existence of wisdom. If a blacksmith allows his steel to burn indefinitely in the fire of his forge all he has in his shop is wasted potential. If he wants to have something meaningful, he must transform his raw materials with hard work and skill to create an item of masterwork quality.

Wisdom is forged from a baptism by fire, and I believe we already know this deep in our soul. Unfortunately, we live in a society that encourages us to remain within the flames for the reward of societal accolades. If we asked our soul to step away from our spirit’s waywardness, we can give him the opportunity to heal himself. As he bandages his wounds, he will remember that suffering ends when we give purpose to the pain.

He will remove the hardship of our hurt from the burning flames and forge his steel into a tool to help him avoid foolishness and folly in the future.

Wisdom like any tool must be maintained. With his head on straight our soul will possess the power to sharpen and maintain every weapon and tool he makes. This is how an old soul is made.

What is an old soul?

An old soul is a person who is wise beyond their years. They see the world through a different lens and often fail to witness the luster and magic of the moment. They rarely marvel at existence in the manner that others experience their seconds. This is because they have been blessed with trials and tribulations that have shaped their eyes into binoculars and microscopes. This sight often steals away most of life’s light, leaving them to dwell in the doldrums of a boring night.

This doesn’t mean their life is without glee. These people simply treasure things in a way that others cannot see. Old souls are natural teachers and true leaders. They experience joy when watching others explore the toys of life. Their heart has so many scars they desperately need to watch others frolic and feel free.

This barrier is a blessing that often feels like a curse and though content with the lessons they have been loaned the price they feel is the torment of always feeling alone. Being an old soul is an alienating experience. Their boldness often leads to loneliness and when this happens it erodes their soul.

This is why spirit energy is so important to an old soul. She is filled with so much brightness her experiences allow him to reconnect with the divine and regain the purpose of his life.

How does naivety play into this discussion?

Many who believe they are old souls are actually the opposite. They lack humility, empathy, and the ability to navigate their life creatively. Their inflated ego or lack of awareness tricks them into believing they know more than they do. This leads them astray and causes them to endure unnecessary pain. Naivety plagues most of us because we lack the awareness that we know next to nothing and have limited influence over everything.

Flawed Perceptions

Flawed perceptions are the ways in which we inaccurately interpret reality. Since we experience our story in the first-person our scope of understanding is limited. As Popeye the Sailor Man would say “I am what I am and that is all that I am.” Like Popeye we can only know what we know. This incomplete understanding limits our ability to fully comprehend, and effectively navigate our circumstances and interactions.

Flawed perceptions are the sum of our experiences, internal and external boundaries, illnesses, wants, desires, regrets, and biological proclivities.

They are not inherently bad. However, I use the term “flawed” as a means to remind us that we can and will make mistakes. The word is meant to serve as an exercise of humility.

Flawed perceptions manifest in many ways. They may,

1. Belittle our confidence
2. Exaggerate our sense of self-importance
3. Infuse us with bias
4. Lure us into a life of fear
5. Trick us into believing false and inaccurate ideas6. Limit our ability to make new friends or develop romantic relationships
6. Treat others unfairly
7. Seek vengeance
8. Live with regret
9. Lead us astray or make a bad day great
10. Give us hope and a means to cope

There are a multitude of ways our false perceptions may influence us

When we invest time into learning more about our flaws we can isolate and eliminate the ones that are limiting our ability to achieve excellence and encourage harmony.

Some of our Flawed Perceptions are deeply tied to the language we use in life. We can transform how we experience the world by changing how we think and speak.

For example,

The word “trauma” I believe is overused, just like the terms toxic, and PTSD. When we reflect on the words we use and alter how and when we use them, we can slowly transform how we interpret and interact with reality.

I almost never use the word trauma, and other words like it, because when we say a word, we internalize and feel it. It’s like reliving the hardship over and over with a negative connotation. If we reframe the experience with more powerful connotations, and denotations we can more effectively learn and grow from them.

For example, getting cancer was the best thing to ever happen to me. This is more than a mind trick; this is a truth. That journey transformed me into the powerful man I am today. The hardship was a baptism by fire that allowed me to see the brilliant light of life.

My cancer journey is not a trauma, it was a blessing. It was the worst experience of my life, and the pain haunts me to this day, but it was beautiful and it has provided me with benefits beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

Another way that our Flawed Perceptions manifest is tied with how we see the future, especially if we are afraid of it.
When we search for ways to resolve our fears of the future, we often look inwardly to reflect on the horrors that have hurt us. This method is often a misleading light. Rarely do we gain anything when we wallow in our own strife.

To free ourselves from the shackles of suffering we must break the chains of self-victimization and doubt. Once these bonds are broken, we will have the strength to muster the mightiest magic of our soul. We will live with a goal and know that we are more than the sum of our suffering.

We will climb the tallest tree and as we stand atop it’s mighty trunk we will bask in the glory of the sun. We will witness the beauty of the world and relearn to live with wonder, awe, and love.

It is easy to fear the future, it is the autopilot of our life. Flip off that switch! Let go of these wayward ideas by choosing to own each day. Bad things will always happen, there is little to nothing we can do about them. Instead of cowering in the corner, stand in the center of the room and relax knowing you will never again succumb to the gloom.

Let Go of Your Flawed Perceptions

You are beautiful and unique in your own special way. Your eyes glimmer in the sparkling night under the lights of the sky. You are human, and alive. You are bright and divine.

When you feel bored and bland you don’t have draw things on your hand to seem interesting and fun. You don’t have to chew ABC gum to be seen by someone. You can wear your own shirt, and dance in your own skirt. You don’t have to be someone else to be cherished and loved. You don’t have to embrace the fad of the age to celebrate the day, because if you look closely you will see you are already great.

When you feel like the opposite of glad, perhaps like a used garbage bag, know your sadness will pass.

If you feel like the odd man out, or your feelings sound like muted shouts, know confidence will one day replace your doubt.

If your heart feels tart, or you have been struck with a dart, know you will once again fly like a lark.

We all feel, and squeal like an orange being peeled. Everyone from time to time experiences things like a sheep being sheared. It is life, there will always be strife. You may feel lonely, and there will be swaths of time when you are alone. There will be segments when you are empty and lost, sometimes so sad it drives you mad.

We all know these emotions. They are human and normal, and far from nice. When we are with them its like sitting on ice.

Is that all these feelings are? What about when I am burning from the inside as though I were breathing the fumes of a star? Is it different when you feel like you are being pulled apart? What about when the race just ended yet you never had the chance to start?

You are human through and thru. Our humanity sticks to us like glue. Though sometimes it feels like this pain is for a select few, the truth however is this meal is something we all must chew.

We are all weird, a little odd, or perhaps mildly eccentric. We all see through a lens unlike anything others have ever known, and use unusual filters when we speak. We dance to the beat of our own drum, create our own melodies, and embrace the quirks others find confusing.

Some of us are a little more unusual than others. We walk on the weird side of the bell curve. It isn’t due to some artificial truth, or a pathological box, or even because we wear virtue signaling socks. None of these things make a person weird, a bit odd or even eccentric, truth be told it is the opposite of interesting. The most unusually fascinating cats are the ones who don’t do tricks for snacks. They exist as they are, because it is WHO they are. They don’t need you to adopt a different approach to how you say this or that, they don’t need you to compliment their fanny pack, or call them a dog when they are clearly a cat. It is because they wear their personality on their sleeve, and don’t care what you might believe.

Being different is not fun. It is not pleasurable, or rewarding in any way. A life as an eccentric is daunting, dreary, and sometimes scary. Showcasing your nature in an honest way is often harrowing, and as you age it may haunt you every day. These are things no one should want to invite, they are not delights or treats.

So many strive to be an unusual light, like eccentricity is an accolade. They drink this idea like its cool aid, and assume a role like an actor in a play.

They often do this because they don’t feel right, like something important is missing in their life. They feel like the opposite of glad, like a used garbage bag. They feel like the odd man out, like their feelings are muted shouts, or maybe their heart feels tart, or stuck with a dart.

These feelings are fleeting and they rarely stay for long. They are house guests, not residents. Making yourself seem weird will not reduce the intensity of your internal reality, instead it will magnify them. They will lead you toward times that are bleak, and make you feel unseen.

Know that most people are not as unusual as they seem. Instead they are bored and bland and would do anything to seem unique, because they believe that if they were someone interesting they would discover the pleasure of feeling free. Being different is not a treasure. In many ways it is a curse, but if you find a way to love yourself, you will stray from the herd.

You will learn that your hurting heart is an experience we all feel. We all dislike aspects of our bodies, brains, and broken past. There are times when everyone feels like trash, like no one loves us, or we are lost in a life we did not choose. These are the hurts that hold us all together and they unite us like glue.

The truth is you are beautiful, delightful, and incredible. Be true to the roots of YOU.

Once you see yourself like the people who love you, you will know that your sadness will always pass, you will once again see through the dark, and relearn to fly like a lark.

You will witness your own unique beauty, see the world with your sparkling eyes, and realize you are human and alive. Bright and divine.

Rest and Meditation

There are little bits of clay that find their way into our mind. Individually they are annoying, but otherwise insignificant. However, as time lurches forward stress seeps into our day as each blob globs together into clogs. This mess infuses us with duress until our vibrant light is replaced with strife.

Instead of getting caught in the craziness of our head we can focus on releasing our dread. We can accomplish this by cultivating our peace with rest and meditation. We can break the monotony of our moments by rediscovering the sweet tooth of our youth. We can embrace being silly, jumping with glee, and spending time with people who help us feel free.

Meditation manifests in many ways. For some we can capture a moment outside ourselves with creative expression. Others require the guidance of spoken word, while the remaining number may need to simply sit still.

Sometimes I can feel the little chunks of clay inside my mind. When I do I take the time to visualize them with my third eye. Sitting silently, I envision their existence and smush them into smaller bits until they dissipate into smooth sheets of peace.

This exercise is often useful, because it takes me out of a stressful ambient second by soothing my soul. It is not a permanent fix, but nothing ever is. The only permanence that exists is the inevitable, and unavoidable permanent end. Instead of searching for things to alleviate the entirety of our suffering we must develop methods to build bridges of trust within our inside parts. When we do this it can help us celebrate the seconds of our life in momentary and meaningful ways.

What is rest?

A series of incomplete metal rings can never become a strong chain. It will hold together under stress, but fall apart at rest.

Sometimes I push against my desire to rest and take a break. When I was younger break time and days off were easier to enjoy. As an entrepreneur I am often confused by the idea.

Why in the world would anyone be confounded by the importance of time away? A lot of it comes down to the idea that “no matter where we go, there we are”. Another side to my resistance is “we are always doing something somewhere”.

So, what is the difference if I am working at the spa, meddling around at home, or chatting with someone at a coffee house?

The difference is we are doing something different. Truly it is as simple as that. It grants us the opportunity to change gears and take life down a different path. Resting breaks, the monotony of our existence, and a change-of-pace is always refreshing.

I believe there are various kinds of rest that our mind, body, spirit, and soul need to feel free.

1. Boredom rest

To fully and completely rest we must occasionally have a day where we do nothing. When I say nothing, I mean bored out of our mind unproductive.

Boredom, I believe is a key to achieve true rest. We have to explore the discomfort of existing without distraction to return to an optimized state of mind.

2. Reflection rest

Reflection in isolation grants us the ability to explore ideas within our head space. This delightful indulgence feeds our mind the scoobie snacks it needs.

Reflection rest manifests in many ways. We could simply spend time thinking about this or that. It could be writing a story, poem, or song. It could also be enjoyed with other creative endeavors such as drawing, painting, or sculpting. Anything that explores our thoughts without the distraction of other people’s ideas reflect this kind of rest.

3. Sleep rest

Sleep is essential. We need it every day and sometimes we need a weekend to lay in bed catching up on some z’s. People like to say, “you can’t catch up on your sleep”. Truly I think these people are fools, as a man who has endured days without sleep, I can tell you we can catch up on our sleepy time tunes.

4. Fun rest

We have to enjoy ourselves. Without pleasure our existence becomes meaningless.

5. Hypnotic rest

Most of the rest we receive in the modern era is Hypnotic rest. This is achieved when we numb our mind with endless cat videos, cable TV, or any other thoughtless activity. Hypnotic rest lets us shut down and think about nothing for a while. Unfortunately, since this kind of rest is so prevalent it often denies us access to our much-needed boredom rest.

6. Physical Touch rest

As mammal creatures we require touch. This could be an experience as simple as a handshake, a hug, or a massage. It helps us reconnect with our humanity and the existence of others.

7. Receptive rest

Sometimes we need to pass the reins to someone else and let go. This manifests in many ways. It could be enjoyed by receiving acts of service, indulging submissiveness, or simply letting someone else plan a date.

8. Adventure or Physical rest

There are times when we need the spark of adventure to lighten the load of our life. This type of rest encapsulates the joy we have on road trips, taking a drive, practicing Taekwondo, riding roller coasters, or even working out.

9. Productive rest

Participating in productive activities outside of our obligations can replenish us. Some people love to clean, organize, repair, and build things. Other people may enjoy activities like volunteering at a soup kitchen, running charity events, or teaching people new skills.

10. Romantic rest

Spending time with someone we are romantically involved with or interested in can relieve stress and help us escape duress. This kind of rest is often paired with many others and it typically enhances their benefit. For example, it is often easier to endure boredom besides someone we love.

11. Platonic rest

Spending time with friends is another way to replenish our inside parts. Though similar to Romantic rest the benefits are not identical. Platonic relationships are an essential ingredient of our harmony pie.

When we have quality friends it gives us a place to share our ideas, receive criticism, and guidance. Depending on the nature of the platonic relationship it is often paired with other types of rest.

The Stick Shift of Decision-Making

When I perform massage, I alternate between two states of operation: my mind and soul.
The mind is in charge of clinical reasoning and rational thought. Its focus helps encourage humility and prevent self-deification.

The soul uses his intuition to feel through the second and remain aware of the subtle and often imperceivable fluctuations throughout a massage.

The instinctual nature of the spirit is harnessed to power the experience, but she should never be used in the application of massage. The reason we should refrain from allowing her influence over the session is because she will transform the intention of the session with her primal desires.
Throughout a massage I shift back and forth between my mind and soul to help ensure I reach my client’s goals.

In our daily lives things work differently. The spirit must be granted opportunities to stretch her wings and fly into the sky. If we deny her, she will slowly die inside until our existence feels sour and without life.

Our intuition plays a significant role in our daily interactions, especially with new people. Unfortunately, if we operate solely with our intuition will make numerous mistakes. He only knows what he knows and if we fail to humble him, his knowledge becomes the only ideas that exist.

I’m not saying we should ignore our intuition, quite the contrary. We should listen to him, then question his ideas and then decide if his analysis is right.

Questioning our intuition is an exercise of our mind and spirit. The mind integrates logic and scientific analysis, while the spirit uses her instincts to determine if these thoughts are in line with nature, our wants, and connection with the divine.

Most decisions we make should involve shifting through the gears of our incorporeal union. Many of us pick a favorite incorporeal aspect and roll the dice. This often leads to a terrible life and hardships galore.

We all interact with our incorporeal union in different ways. Every marriage and government have their own handshakes and arrangements. Learn what is best for you by being true to your inside parts.

Suffering Ends When You Give Purpose to the Pain

“Take a breath, I know life can be painful, it can be strange, confusing at times. You are not alone in your pain, the strangeness or confusion. There are times when we are cut and splayed open, forced to welcome in the agony of the world. To see horrible sights and live with those horrors for rest of our life. To look for our memories in our mind’s library and find an empty space. We wait and wait, but the book is never returned.

These are all gifts. I know it is hard to believe. Sometimes I find myself asking “What is the gift in this?” When the world grants us a challenge there is always an Easter egg, a gem, a golden nugget within it.

We don’t have to know what the gift is. Sometimes the gift is not revealed in the moment. There are times we must wait for the great reveal. When we take sight of it and tear apart its beautiful wrappings to marvel at its beauty.

Our lives are magnificent, wondrous, truly awe-inspiring things. I know it can very hard, sometimes too hard. It can be horrible, but equally beautiful. Please look at the magic around you, take a breath and embrace it.” -August 2017

We are often easily twisted around in the labyrinth of life. Sometimes our compass fails to point north, and it feels like we have nowhere to go. Darkness creeps in and we slowly lose sight of the brilliant light of life.

In my darkest hours I often scramble to find the significance of my seconds. I do this because I believe that suffering ends when we give purpose to the pain. The longer we linger in the state of woe, the greater our misery becomes in the moment.

I remember the very moment I realized this. It was one of the most powerful horrors I have ever faced. It was after recovering from a chemotherapy treatment.

It was a bright sunny day, and I remember feeling the sun beat down on my bald head. I was sitting outside of Picassos sipping a delicious cup of mocha. It was a chilly afternoon and though it was cold I could feel myself burning from within. It felt like a chemical fire was crawling under my skin and my bones ached like trembling earthquakes. My blood was boiling, my eyes were dry, and my mouth felt like it was filled with acid. Every stretch of my body felt like it was being torn apart from within.

These sensations started like a gentle rain, but with each second the magnitude of the pain shuttered with cataclysmic force.

I was surrounded by friends. They were laughing and playing. Great conversations were in abundance and the vibe was great, but I was locked inside a prison of unimaginable pain. For a moment I panicked and tried to find a way to escape, but where could I run? Even if I could run there was nowhere to hide. The agony was me, the horror was my body, and there was no escape. I wanted to growl, scream, and cry. I pleaded on the inside with a horror greater than the deepest hell, but I realized there was no help. This was as it was going to be. There was nothing that could set me free, so I chose to succumb to the moment.

I chose to see the beauty in the horror, and as I allowed the agony to wash over me I began to feel a profound level of peace. The hurt did not cease, but in that second it set me free. I fell in love with life and the strife eating my body. In that moment I knew the purpose of my pain and at that second my suffering was eased.

This moment changed me. It opened the door to an assortment of amazing discoveries. Over time I realized that cancer was the greatest gift I have ever been granted. It gave me purpose, placed me on the road to achieve my dreams, and showed me how to make the most of my moments. From this incredible experience I learned that in every second is a snapshot of infinite beauty.

This wisdom is what allows me to push forward when others want to quit. It is what granted me my grit and showed me how to inspire others when their spirit wants everything to end.

Decide Your Own Purpose

My purpose requires incredible amounts of power to fuel it every second. Overcoming the challenges I have faced has forced me to pave a road that can support the heaviest load. I am who I am, this will not change. In many ways I am traditional with how I walk, and talk, and spread love, but I am unusual, and interesting, and unlike anything you will find in the mainstream. This is because I am free, I celebrate my liberty, I sing songs and sling rhymes, and ultimately live my life in a way that is unapologetically me.

I will always offer to teach and reach for heights taller than the tips of my fingers. My face will always be covered with man whiskers and live with an intensity that is hard to believe. I will always live with a singular purpose, and create things that will exist in my absence, even after my name has been forgotten.

I live to make the world better in a certain special way, and I will continue to do this until the end of my days. I will make every sacrifice in my life to make this true, because I want you to live the most rewarding life that is right for you.

I want you to know that you have a purpose. What is it? I don’t know, and it is not for me to say. It is up to you to decide what it is one day. When you find it, you will fuel it with every once of your existence, and though you may find resistance, you will find a way to overcome your hardships every day. You will fly into the sky and soar within the heavens above, you will wear your heart like a glove, and live a life of true love.

Live Like it is the Last Five Years of Your Life

What would you do if you only had five years to live? Would you throw a party every day? Would you make everything in existence about you? Would you honor your obligations? Would you give up on the future, love, and the enrichment of others? Would you leave behind a legacy, and if you did, what would it be? If at the end of those five years you were still alive, what would you do? Would you regret any of the things you did? Would have wished you treated others better, or explored a little more love? How would you look to the future? Would you live your next five years like they were the last years of your life?

Stop Recreating the Same Scenes of Suffering

While exploring one of my favorite friend’s feeds, I stumbled upon this meme. It said: “If you continue to carry the bricks from your past, you will end up building the same house.”

When I saw this, I fell in love with it, so I read it again.

“If you continue to carry the bricks from your past, you will end up building the same house.”

Though simplistic, the message is powerful and profound. It follows the same vein of many other sayings, like:

“When we hurt, we tend to hurt others.”

“When we stop caring, we also stop caring about others.”

Though similar this meme is more meaningful. It offers greater wisdom, and in the spirit of the statement it serves as a guide to actually transform your life.

When we have endured horrible heart break, we tend to carry that hurt with us. These bricks often remain even after we have escaped our scenes of pain. They follow our steps like a shadow and loom over us like dark clouds. When the rain inevitably falls, it starts as a sprinkle, transforms into a shower, and thunders into a flash flood. The running waters soak our socks, ruining our shoes, and forcing us to exist in a state of eternal boo-hoo.

When we feel this way, we are destined to recreate the same scenes of suffering. How can we make something new and beautiful if our eyes are still caked with muck and mud? The sweet anger of the past will fuel our future, we will feed others with our pain, and as a consequence they will be the same. Using the bad bricks of our old house, we will construct an identical putrid place. It may be covered with a different paint, but the floor plan and foundations are the same.

“We are what we eat.” In many ways this statement is a universal treat. If we want to stop the cycle, we must break our own. Each brick must be crushed and mourned. We must no longer be the person we were before by giving good energy galore. When we enter a room, we should be searching for ways to transform bad vibes into beautiful ones. When we feed others good energy it encourages them to do the same. Eventually with enough love they too will begin to share the vibrant light of life.

Of course, this is easier said than done.

If we want to break the chain of pain, we must slice out the anger from our actions. This means we must come to terms with the atrocities committed against us, the unreasonable hardships we have been forced to face, and the unfortunate complications of our day.

I learned long ago that the best way to make the world better is by giving goodness for the sake of goodness. If you are searching for something to free your spirit from its shackles of suffering, treat each hurt like a pet you like and love. Nurture, discipline, and mourn each mistake, every horribly unfortunate day, and the feels that lead you astray.

You Will Overcome the Ghosts of Your Past

In our darkest hour of hurt we are often visited by the ghosts of the past. Old scars open as wounds, and though our body may be broken our spirit remains strong. No matter how hard the world smashes our soul, you will always have the power to be bold. You are strong, resilient, and capable of overcoming any obstacle.

Throughout my cancer journey I experienced the blessings of many pains, some impossible to explain, but it taught me that in every second is an infinite snapshot of beauty. It showed me that life is magical, marvelous, and should be treasured and celebrated.

The Soul needs to know your Goals

What do you want to achieve? What are your dreams? At the end of your existence how do you want to be seen? These are important questions I have asked myself throughout the years.

How can we accomplish our goals if we are uncertain what they are? How can we fly through the sky and soar amongst the stars if we don’t have a plan to make it happen?

Energy alone is not enough to transcend the barriers holding your dreams at bay. I bet your ideas are great, but those are intangible today. You need to find a way to make them real. You must anchor them into the dirt. Create a plan, lay a foundation and wear your blood, sweat, and tears until everything you have worked for appears.

You can achieve your dreams. You can live with prosperity. You can discover harmony, and peace. All it takes is giving your goal everything inside your soul.

Your willingness to invest must be limitless if you want to hold inner greatness, spread happiness, and live your purpose.

Listen to your Soul when he offers Sage Advice

Life doesn’t come to you,

You have to find it.

When people say:

“Wait for the day to find you”

It is the worst advice you can take.

Advice like this is lazy, and it leads hopeful souls astray.

It keeps them isolated and lonely without a means to change.

If you want something, search for it.

Stop sitting on your hands waiting to be fed.

Pick a goal, be bolder and take the time to find the life right for you.

The Soul Heals by Taking Responsibility for its Own Actions

How far are you willing to be twisted and pulled about? Does it stop when you simply fall down, or will you take a stand to stop it?

In life we walk many bridges and tight ropes, but when someone spins us with silliness it becomes increasingly challenging to make the right decisions.

Though we may feel this way it isn’t real. When the soul is fulfilling its role no one can spin us with silliness as we tip toe over bridges or walk across tight ropes.

It should be our goal to remind our soul that we are malleable; that we can assess the value of our relationships; that we can choose when we are manipulated; and that we have control over the ambient energy we release.

Reminding the Soul

Most people like to talk about how they were influenced or manipulated by others, yet seldomly do we address how we treat the feelings of other beings. We live in the “ME” culture. Everything must be soft and gentle for our sake, so we may avoid any kind of suffering. “I deserve this”, or “I was treated unfairly” are statements we all like to make.

As admiral Akbar would say “It’s a trap!” Just like his scene in Star Wars these thoughts are traps too. When we are caught in these snares we inevitably become the prey of self-victimhood. Even worse is when we begin to celebrate our hardship and hurt as though they were points or accolades. The more we indulge and reward the deification of our hardships the more intolerable, hateful, and bitter we become.

Life is challenging, this is a truth, and it will always be this way. Our existence never gets easier. Instead of embracing our agony we can develop life-tools to navigate our journey more effectively.

What are some tools we can use to address the stress we impose on our own existence? If we want to avoid the dizziness of our own duress we should consider embarking on these thought quests.

Remove yourself from the Situation

When the actions and statements of others burn our inside bits, we should remove ourselves from the situation. Once away we can take a breath, meditate, and ponder what they said or did. This means avoiding emotional outbursts that may damage other people’s day. The hurt we feel in the moment may not be the emotions we experience later. Why set someone else’s day aflame over something we didn’t need to say? If we seek to have peace, then we must give it first by preemptively freeing others from our momentary hurt.

How do we remove ourselves from the situation? You can stand right where you are. The best way to bow out of a moment is to simply go silent. Take your spirit to a special place unrelated to the situation, show her to a fantastic forest or a magical field of your own mind, and give her a few flowers to smell.

A great tool you can use to do this is to imagine a picture frame inside your mind’s eye and insert a movie of a pleasant memory inside. Watch and indulge the positive energy of past experiences.

When I was going through chemotherapy, I often employed this technique to escape the pain. I imagined a blue picture frame encasing a film of me performing push-ups against the concrete of a hot street. My eyes admired the soft sheen of my shaved head and the strength of a young man’s youth.

If you don’t have magical memories that you can easily access, go out and make some.

Few people realize the effect we have on others, especially while we are zoomed in on ourselves. It is easy to get swept away in self-indulgence, I get caught up in it myself. Reflection and a consistent awareness of our Ambient Energy is the only way to prevent the spread of forest fires. We must actively take responsibility for our actions while listening to the sage advice of Smokey the Bear, because only you can prevent forest fires!

This doesn’t mean we should avoid every conflict or woe. Instead, we should take the time to decide which kinds of emotions we show. The last thing we want to be is Sir Robin bravely running away on his quest for the Holy Grail.

Specifically, we must address how we react and influence others with our emotions that have been fueled with negative energy.

Radiate goodness, strength, and power with confidence and you will attract the same.

We are Responsible for how we allow others to manipulate us.

God gave us free will, and with this gift was the burden of the Adversary. This is our inherent desire for darker things, impulsive behaviors, and selfishness. Its pull is what allows us to resist the divine and live our life by our own decisions. Like Sarah Connor said in The Terminator, “our fate is what we make”.

With our free will we have chosen to accept the manipulations others have imposed upon us. Once we begin to realize this it opens our treasure chest and allows us to gain access to old wisdom more valuable than gold.

With our free will we choose to accept and integrate their sweet whispers into our thoughts and actions. Effectively we have allowed ourselves to be manipulated. It was a choice, we could have resisted it, but we didn’t.

In the thick brush strokes of life most manipulations are encouraged without force. When we are threatened or coerced with violence free will is tossed out the window, because our survival imperative requires it. The threat of, or the application of bodily harm is not what I am addressing; nor am I discussing instances where we lack the ability to make sound judgments due to intoxication, medicines, injuries, or diseases. In those moments our mind is broken, and we lack the ability make reasonable decisions.

We should take the time to assess the value and return of our relationships.

Determining the value of each relationship is no easy task. Bloggers and self-help gurus often provide supposedly easy to use formulas to help determine whether our return-on-investment is healthy. The unfortunate reality is that these equations do not account for the various types of relationships we have in our life. They also tend to focus in on a narrow window of time. In relationships they’re not always even, sometimes one person is putting in more energy, but then it seesaws in the other direction. No relationship is simple, and there is not a catch all approach to managing them.

We are Malleable Creatures

We are malleable creatures, as children we were formed from clay and as we aged it hardened into stone. Like the days when we were young, we can be remade. To do this we must become a sculptor of our own mind by chiseling away the elements that fail to move and inspire our time. With introspection and willful transformation, we can shape our slab into a statue of our own design. Take a moment, think about the clay used to create the person you are today. Are you happy with what was made? What would you change? Who would you be if it could be reformed into your ultimate dream?

• Would you be the type who remained centered and grounded in what you believe?
• Would you broadcast your confidence with genuine passion and love for life?
• Would you stay true to yourself and be upfront about your values and intentions?
• Would you refrain from being emotionally reliant and outcome-driven by how others think or feel about you?
• Would you radiate authenticity and self-acceptance?
• Would you have a healthy internal dialogue?
• Would you refrain from comparing yourself with how others act and dress?
• Would you seize more opportunities and take more risks?
• Would you be more competitive?
• Would you have total faith and conviction in your beliefs, boundaries, and standards?
• Would you be more passionate, raw, and real?
• Stop allowing others to twist and pull you about. Avoid falling down by rooting your feet into the ground and stand tall and proud. Stop the onslaught of those who seek to give you a slice of suffering by reminding your soul how to live his role.

We like to blame everyone else for the hardships that make us feel insane. We cry about all the red flags we should have seen, or how we seem to fall into the same nightmarish dream. “Woe is me!” We scream and whine to anyone willing to listen. “How could I have ignored so many red flags?” We often say out loud, sometimes even to a crowd, and we blame everyone except ourselves. Our phrase of the day becomes blame, and we shame others for our bad decisions and willingness to be manipulated.

The word of the decade is narcissist, and anyone who hurts us will be diagnosed by our expertise in keyboard psychology. Surely the only option for why they did such a terrible deed was because they have a self-absorbed disease.

Unfortunately, the reality is we suffer with the delusion of inflated self-deification. Truthfully, why wouldn’t we? We live in a culture that celebrates trauma like Christmas, we see weakness as wonderful, and grant accolades to anyone who wallows in their own misery.

We don’t take responsibility for our own actions and emotions for a multitude of reasons

It requires confidence to take ownership of our behavior

Having confidence requires work, we must endure hardship to shape ourselves into something significant. Many would rather endure the agony of complacent misery than seize their seconds and become someone who radiates power and strength.

Our society celebrates and explores the vice of cowardice

As a culture we can only muster courage behind a keyboard. Few have the conviction to make eye contact when face-to-face, let alone the courage to say anything directly or of consequence to someone they are having a conversation with.

Weakness

The weakest souls of our society are numerous enough to shape our world through the disease of cancel culture. No one is free to share ideas without a threat against our prosperity or ability to feed our family.

We get stuck inside negative energy loops

The media and other electronic social influences over-inflate our perception of self-worth while dehumanizing our existence at the same time. It tricks us into believing we are owed something we have not earned. Then when we do not have it we feel sad and empty. To push against the ever-encroaching maw of our emotional void we try to fill it with as much instant gratification as we can. This terrible temptation draws us into an infinite negative energy loop.

It’s like wanting big strong muscles while being unwilling to work for them. Instead of putting in the energy to change, we inject our muscles with synthol oil, so our arms look the part, while we remain weak. We may trick ourselves momentarily into believing our new form looks fantastic, but ultimately, we are aware that it is a fabrication, and we feel worse than we ever did before. Unfortunately, once when have taken this route it is difficult to change course, and our obsession spirals out of control. At the end of the dark road our arms are destroyed, and we can no longer move.

How could we ever expect to take ownership of our actions when everything seems meaningless and random? Once the negative energy wheel begins to move it’s nearly impossible to make it stop.

We are tired

Life often seems impossible especially when we live with seemingly unlimited moving parts. We are inundated with so many details our incorporeal union simply lacks the energy to keep up. A rubber band only has so much rubber no matter how far we stretch it.

At the end of the day how do we take a stand when we feel like our rubber band is about to break?

Little reward

There are very few rewards for doing the right thing, and honest apologies mean nothing. We live in a cruel world where keyboard warriors demand others to make public decrees of guilt and remorse, yet when they do the war does not end. As a collective they whine and cry as they gather their pitchforks and torches before burning other people’s lives to the ground. Why would anyone want to rise and take a stand when we know everything will always end bad?

How do we stop blaming others for the hardships that make us feel insane? We need to change how we see red flags and analyze why they are ignored when we witness them. In life we repeat various incarnations of the same mistakes until we have collected enough wisdom to wade through our woe in a wonderful way. We will know we have reached this goal once we start saying “Well I got what I deserved, I should have paid attention to what my gut wanted me to know.”

We will have shame, but it will no longer be the blame game. Our wisdom will remind us on a regular basis that we allowed ourselves to be influenced and manipulated.

We will refrain from diagnosing everyone who has hurt us as a narcissist. Instead, our soul will remind us that we are adults who were never forced to be with them.

To get to this point we will need to explore our creativity, humility, and empathy. It will require many lonely nights of delving deeply into our souls zones to unearth our flaws and faults.

As we become the Sherlock Holmes of our own soul we will discover the clues we need to become someone new. With each shred of truth we will start seeing the proof of our self-absorbed disease. Once we start witnessing the reality of our self-deification, we can begin closing the doors of trauma celebration, weakness worship, and our desire to wallow in our own misery.

Using these clues, we can unglue our existence from the excuses for why we refuse to take responsibility for our own actions.

The Soul Encourages us to Proactively Prevent Regret

If you are afraid of pain you will never learn how to make the most of your days. You will sit and wait for your troubles to pass until the end of time. You will live your life like a ghoul. It will be an undead existence free of dreams, hope, and heavenly moments.

As you lay on your bed of eternal death you will live only with regret. You will think of all the things you could have done, should have done, but didn’t. You will cry with crippling sorrow over every second squandered. You will have wished you did something different, or simply something at all. This is a terrible hall to walk because it is endless and horrific. It is haunting, monstrous, and horrible.

Stop living like this. You no longer need to be a slave to your wayward ways. You can embrace life by loving death. You can become strong by enduring and overcoming pain. You can be powerful, persistent, and a force capable of anything.

When you are faced with an opportunity to do something amazing and you are unable to move, ask yourself why? What is stopping you in this moment? Are you afraid of what someone might say or think? These fears and hurts are fleeting. If you are unable to embark on an opportunity because it is unethical that is fair, if it is because of fear, pause, steady yourself, and find the courage to do what you want to do.

They don’t realize that a war without end is evil. Clear goals must be set, and once we achieve them the conflict needs to end.

Everyone around these spirits pays the price for the darkness of their life. They are black holes of hurt and if we spend too much time with them, we will be sucked into their suffering.

We can avoid this dark fate by being the guiding light of our own life. We can learn from the mistakes others have made by holding our lantern higher so our eyes may see. When we illuminate the night, we will know where to walk to help guide our spirit to achieve many great and meaningful things.

If our spirit needs to achieve something great, we need to feed her with love, harmony, and patience. As our spirit fights, she must remain connected to the divine, guided by a strong soul, and a healthy mind.

If we fail her, she will plant mines in the soil and helpless victims will suffer the wrath of her irresponsible acts.

We must help her hand, give the seeds, and show her that meaningful change can only be grown from the garden of love, peace, and harmony.

The Roadblocks of a Better Future

What are the speed bumps and roadblocks of building a better future? Why have we failed to change, and why do we continue to sit idle at the starting line of life?

Who am I to say whether you can, or cannot change? Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. If change were achievable for everyone, everyone would have become the person they wanted to be before they died.

Deep in my heart I have to believe we can become who we want to be. I want to inspire you to live your ultimate life, discover ways to avoid strife, and make the most of every night.

I think it is important to acknowledge our goals might be impossible. At least then when we never attempt to achieve them it was because we actively never tried. I think that is better than pretending to embark on a task we never intended to achieve.

Just because something may seem impossible doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. Man could not fly until two men did.

We all know what we must do to have the life we need. Unfortunately, we procrastinate with self-imposed roadblocks and barriers. Forever we keep our car parked and ready to roll, occasionally revving the engine, but with no intent of actually going.

I believe we must explore the reasons why we have not changed to discover what we need to do, to change.

What has prevented us in the past? What is preventing us in the present, and what will prevent us in the future?

• Fatigue
• False Perceptions
• Doubt
• Poor Time Management
• A Chaotic lifestyle
• Entropic Lifestyle
• Depression
• Societal Influences

Fatigue

When ropes of exhaustion wrap around our bones our life-force melts away like ice cream in a waffle cone. It’s an icky, sticky lethargic mess and it puts our willpower to the test. The more we give the more our spirit bends until we feel overwhelmed, twisted, and spent.

When we are tired, we can force ourselves forward, but each time we do, our wheels must overcome an obstacle. The first is a speed bump, the second is a little hill, and eventually we must traverse mountains to maintain our intensity.

When we recover, we must rest for each obstacle individually. The higher the altitude the longer the recuperation takes. Sometimes we trap ourselves in states of perpetual fatigue because we cannot rest long enough to untwist the bends of our overwhelmed and spent spirit.

When we are tired, the idea of investing additional energy into anything seems impossible. How can we give more when we feel like our fuel tank is on E?

False Perceptions

Sometimes our life is so big it makes our head spin. It is dizzying, nauseating, and once the negative thoughts start, they are challenging to stop. We begin to believe unfortunate things and get lost in the process of solving our suffering.

These false perceptions create roadblocks on our path. They prevent us from accessing the lifestyle we want by making us think we need something else to solve our problems. This locks us in an infinite cycle of procrastination.

“I would do this if only this other thing were fixed.”

“If my life was in order, I could escape this chaos.”

“If I could sleep right, I could eat right.”

“If I could eat right, I could start working out.”

“If I could find the time, I would improve my life.”

Doubt

Doubt often feels like a fire in our chest, butterflies in our belly, or even a tickle of fright behind our eyes. It weighs our feet to the floor, holds us in place, and makes us feel like we are stuck inside concrete. With doubt in our mind we will never fly, our heart will be shackled with fear, and we will exist without freedom and liberty.

“I shouldn’t do it because no matter what I do I will not succeed.” Those who live with perpetual doubt will never begin a race because they believe they cannot win.

Poor Time Management

I can’t do this because I do not have time. We fail to even start a project because we are unable to fit it into our schedule.

Chaotic Lifestyle

Rhyme and reason are absent from our existence. Regularity and routine are alien ideas and as a consequence enacting meaningful change seems impossible to maintain.

Entropic Lifestyle

Our days are saturated with dismay and decay. Every hour in our sanctuary is laced with destruction and pain. It is a place that radiates death, foul smelling things, and entropy.

Depression

Sometimes a deep boredom boils up from the depths of our heart. It is hot, somewhat slick, but sticky like gum and it jams up our emotions like a pipe’s clog. As pressure pushes against our inside zones it causes a certain pain that hobbles our legs. Once these feelings flood in, the weight of the water breaks our legs and steals our ability to chase the day. The desire to sleep overrides our passion to live deeply. We lose the brightness of the nimbus light as we watch a special sprite stop playing on the limbs of life. Then when everything seems to serve no meaning, and we have lost all hope, our dearest spirit fades into the night.

This is the feeling of depression, at least it is how I experience it. It is dull yet jagged, cold, odd, and gross. It is a never-ending dose of sadness and sorrow, it is powerful, unforgiving, and terrible. In many ways it is like being a bird who cannot move its wings or living as a fish who cannot breathe.

I believe that in the modern incarnation of our existence we shift in and out of depression faster than the phases of the moon. This rapidly changing state steals away our ability to discern objective truth and makes it hard for us to find even Blue’s clues.

Societal Influences

The influences of our environment are so pervasive we are incapable of escaping them. No matter where we look the ideas of the Adversary are forced into our eyes and ears.

The advent of the internet, cell phones, and social media has enriched our existence in many ways. It has also ripped away much of our peace, ease, and silent reflection. We live from second to moment hungering for ‘likes’ and ‘shares’. It is like an ethereal addiction and as a society we are caught inside its sticky snare.

We all know this modern lifestyle is a problem, but when something exists in every space it becomes impossible to escape. Our days effectively become the set of a never-ending play, and it seems the same whether we stay at home or visit a park on Sunday.

*We all want to accomplish meaningful change that allows us to live our best days. Unfortunately, few have discovered the clues necessary to live life in a new way and this creates a lot of pain. Much of the agony exists due to our lack of awareness. If we want to encourage a willful transformation, we must understand why we have failed in the past, so we may succeed in the present, and create our own future.

As a special exercise ask yourself why you have failed. Perhaps by asking the question you will discover how to succeed.

Change is instantaneous.

Change is instantaneous. It occurs every second. You can change your future by becoming what you need to be now. You will become who you want to be tomorrow by letting go of who you were yesterday. You will achieve this by deciding who you are in the second.

What holds us back? We restrain ourselves. I do it to myself, just as you do it to yourself. Each person is their own enemy, but they can also be their greatest ally. You can free yourself. You can unlock your shackles, stretch out your arms, and dive into life.

We already have the key; we just have to be willing to turn it to experience the liberty we need. Unfortunately freeing ourselves isn’t that simple. It requires upkeep. We must have grit, enthusiasm, and passion to ensure the magic continues to happen. The second we stop sustaining our change we will instantly revert back to who we were before.

If you can keep your momentum moving forward, there will be a few long moments that feel like a plateau. It will feel like there is nowhere else to go, but this is temporary.

I have not discovered my maximum potential and nor have you, but I will, and you will too.

You can Heal you Heart

Your heart hurts and mine does too. We can both start healing by mending it with some glue. We can heal it some more tomorrow, then the next, and one day our heart will be nearly fixed.

How do we heal our heart? We encourage it to rest, offer it affection, and some time to digest the day. When our heart is broken our spirit is also bruised, so we must address her wounds too. Her hurt is hard to heal so we will need to feed her many meals. She will sleep safely within the soul’s shelter and Father Owl will help her with wise guidance. His sage advice will console and help her feel whole.

We will love our heart like we want to be loved. We will hold it gently and encourage it to fly peacefully like a dove. When the day is bright and bold it will dance in a flowery field, and when it is threatened, we will protect it with a shield.

Our heart will always know hurt; this is the consequence of being born from the dirt. In order for us to know love we must be vulnerable enough to fly amongst the clouds. We must dare to let go of doubt and soar like Icarus beside the sun, because without risk we will never meet our one true love.

Enact Your Cascade of Change

Today is the morning you enact your cascade of change. You will breathe deeply, stretch out your wings and sing a song in the shower.

You will make breakfast and eat, even if you dislike eating morning things. You will give yourself time to dream and dance. You will allow your heart to prance and play. You will even think about your favorite thoughts throughout the day.

You are a tower of power, and nothing can stop your walk. You are great, magnificent, and marvelous in so many ways.

You are well rested because the sleep you received was all you needed. Don’t let your mind steer you away from starting a new life because you believe you are fatigued. Soon you will exercise and though it may tire you a tiny bit, it will make your skin shinny with sweat as your physical needs are finally met.

Let your false perceptions go. You already have the things you need to succeed. Today is the day you will be free from doubt as you fly beside the clouds.

You still have time. Stop trying to trick yourself. You will not convince your soul there isn’t enough time to reach your goal.

The madness and chaos of your existence will cease as you begin to discover peace. Entropy will switch to growth as abundance becomes your approach. Your depression will fade as you adopt new ways and dread drains from your days. You will be the person you have chosen to be by ignoring the demands and pressure of society.

You are powerful, purposeful, and unstoppable.

The Animals of Our Essence

They both need each other, equally, but not the same. This is the nature of the game. Each often sees only what he or she needs, and projects these expectations within their resume. What she believes is important is not what he wants. The same is true for him, what he believes is important is not what she wants. Father Owl must offer the love Mother Fox needs. Mother Fox must offer the love Father Owl needs. Failing to meet either needs makes the relationship feel lonely and empty.

Father Owl must glide through the sky, but he must also sit amongst the spirit of the trees. Mother fox must rest her weary head on the chest of the stalwart soul. They must suckle on each other’s inner energies to feel free and bold. When their bellies are fat and full Father Owl becomes rife with life and rich with vitality; and Mother Fox feels stable and safe.

When Father Owl Cannot Fall In Love

When Father Owl builds his walls toward the sky it makes Mother Fox want to cry. Her heart needs the wisdom of his soul to glow, she needs his eyes to be bold and have the confidence to be vulnerable.

She can step slowly over the speed bumps of the street, she can raise the waters high and swim over the levies at night, but she cannot climb the walls when they are tall and frightful. Only Father Owl can fly to her to turn the tide of his internal fight. He must come to her with his feathery wings so she may see him in his glorious defeat.

If he comes to her, she will see the leash that is preventing him from feeling free. She will witness the woe that he knows and if she still needs to see him glow, she will ask for the tools to serve as his nimbus light. If Father Owl grants her this gift, she will slice the leather strap that is pulling him back. She will free him from his trap, and she will have a map to move his mind. Her spirit will invigorate his confidence and push him toward powerful things, and as a result she will stand beside an incredible being.

The Defenses of Father Owl

Father Owl uses many tools to protect his soul from the woe of the world. He uses walls, speed bumps, and levies. He uses moats, and boats, archers, soldiers, and even wraps razor wire around his home.

At the entrance of his palace walls, he has a draw bridge that allows others in. This door-like device can open and close on a whim.

There are good reasons to keep your draw bridge up. Sometimes it is important to require visitors to use a boat to cross your moat. Your palace is your perfect place, it is not a shelter for wayward souls to settle.

Sometimes our drawbridge is jammed, and it can no longer lower. It sits stuck and unable to budge and slowly our inner barricades become prison walls.

When malicious monsters sense our hurt, they hunt us like sharks who smell blood. They prey on us like wolves in fine sheep furs. They swim through our moat and sneak inside. Once they reach our throne room, they fill our life with gloom. They eat our food, break our things, and steal our ability to sing.

When they leave, we vow to never be weak. We run razor wire around our walls, fill the cracks and line our palace fields with archers and soldiers galore.

It is uncomfortable to live with a heart that is sore, but once your palace has become a prison you will begin to suffer more than you have ever before.

At first you will feel bored and lonely. You will want to feed from the energy of a loving embrace, and if you do, you can unglue your fingers stuck in an iron fisted existence. If you remain within the pain the loneliness will fade. A scar will form over your unhealed wound and the injury will begin to fester.

The necrotic waste of your hurting places will eat your nerves and many of your emotions will be removed. You will lose many of the hardships caused from pain, but you will also change in ways that is impossible to anticipate.

You will no longer be you. You will become the glue and you will lose the glowy parts that make you, you.

Things can change, Father Owl can escape, but it requires the spirit of Mother Fox to free his soul.

The Pain of Father Owl

When Father Owl touches even a feather back into the world of wonder and thoughtful feels, he will experience a sensation like battery acid against his eyes. This little bird has to relearn how it feels to yearn as it welcomes back the tremendous value of emotional touch and the terror of feeling it slip away. Understanding how to fly through the sky once again has a lot to do with how the stone grinders of the soul were used to chisel away the pain of the day. Inviting the gooey emotional flow over greases his gears and often causes his mechanisms to occasionally slip. Fortunately feeling the universe again is a long play that leads to better and greater things.

The Meerkat and other Creatures

We are all supposed to have a little meerkat in our lives. A person who Mother Fox or Father Owl speaks with who understands their plight and can serve as their guide. The meerkat encourages a sense of community and belongingness without existing in their circles. This outside bond allows for a friendship without the worry of being too vulnerable or receiving a lashing from your circle’s whip.

The meerkat is an escape from your echo chamber, a place that serves as a space to hear thoughts and feelings. These are opinions many of your friends will not share, and you refuse to share with them.

The meerkat speaks with the fox and the owl, but it is the best friend to the spirit and soul. It is a force that helps you remain whole and pushes you to continue even when your world is boring and dull.

Sometimes we have many meerkats in our life, sometimes we have some, but the dreadful day occurs when we have none.

When the meerkat is not keeping an eye out throughout the day little monsters will come out to play. Eagles will swoop down and carry our life away and snakes will bite our leg. We need the meerkat to see the world, especially the eagles and snakes who seek to make a meal out of our mind.

Though the meerkat is essential there are other emotional creatures we need throughout the day.

We need a horse to stay on course especially when we feel too weak to ride. We need a mighty steed to help us feel free as we race at our own pace in life.

We need a Great Dane to feel safe, a dog-o to feel loved, and kind words to remind us that everything will be ok.

We need a fish to chill with, someone who doesn’t wish for other’s gifts. A person who can appreciate the blessings of their aquarium, respects its boundaries, and makes the most with what they have.

We need a cat who loves to chase and play, but also respects rest and aloneness. A relationship that is earned and never given but loving in their own way.

There are many emotional creatures within our heart, and many people we need in our life to feel free. We need to have them in our day because we are creatures of community.

What Happens When we Lose Our Meerkat?

What happens when you no longer have a meerkat to listen to your chirps? You have to search for a prize within your insides and hope your own guidance is enough. You have to avoid playing hide without the sleek and believe that the best choice is to find your own voice. You have to remind yourself that you like your life and can find ways to inspire yourself in the night.

Your meerkat is not a fowl like Father Owl, or a powerful spirit like Mother Fox. It is an entity who helps you ease away the weary woes of your week. They help you see when you are lost in the trees and remind you to believe.

Mother Fox and Father Owl are more important than the meerkat, because they are the king and queen of the forest. Together they keep and clean each other’s wounds and serve as each other’s glue. One fights to defend till the end while the other protects the nest. When the meerkat goes away the fox and owl must serve as a voice to hear each other’s chirps.

They guide one another to search for the prize on the inside and help each other find hope. Together they develop ways to cope, play hide and seek, and serve as a reminder to believe. Eventually they form as one voice, while still holding onto their independent choice. As owl and fox, they love their life and inspire each other in the night. Together they are free because when they are united neither will ever be lost in the trees.

We Only Know What We Know

We only know what we know. We can only give what we can give. We are all creatures of the emotional kingdom. We run out of energy, get overburdened, and do our best in situations we have never navigated.

We are a family of feelings, we are normal, no one is perfect. I have never met anyone who has all the answers. There are souls who know a lot, but even they make errors, and have gaps where they have to guess.

Sometimes when our machine runs without maintenance for too long, we begin to believe it doesn’t need upkeep. Then when it is oiled, the gears begin to slip. We are so used to being tired that when we find an energy to admire our heart begins to trip.

It hurts when we feel, especially when we have not felt for a long time. When we look to the potential for a peaceful heart it comes with hurt. Sometimes the risk for hurt is far worse than the reward of peace. This is difficult because it makes it hard to breathe. These feelings make us want to climb for the trees, to play hide and seek. Unfortunately, we just stay hidden, because there is nothing to seek when we are too hard to see.

But if we climb down from the branches and hide in a place, we can be spotted it grants us a chance to be chosen. We can realize with our own eyes that life can be bright and bold and that it is worth more than gold.

We can stop believing our wounds have healed. We can pull open our scars and see the rotten scabs tucked under our skin. We can begin to trust again; we can offer our whole heart and learn that life truly is sweet and tart.

We can realize that in our weird world there are forces outside of our control. We can see the chomping maws that bite, twist and eat until our defeat. We can see how it breaks us where we have already been broken and twist us till we are too dizzy to know where to go.

In these moments we need our owl, fox, or meerkat to chirp us back on track.

Unfortunately, they only know what they know. They can only give what they can give. They too are all creatures of the emotional kingdom. They run out of energy, get overburdened, and do their best in situations they have never navigated.

They too have a family of feelings, they may know a lot, but even they are not perfect. They are not divine, they are flesh and blood, they make errors, and have gaps where they have to guess.

They want to guide you to find the prize hidden within your insides and help you rediscover hope. They want to explore with you, they want to develop new ways to cope.

As owl and fox, they want to play hide and seek and help you believe. They want to join together as one voice while still holding onto their choice. They want you to love life and be inspired in the middle of the night. They want you to feel free and realize that as long as you are together you will never be lost in the trees.