What is the answer? True or False? “If you do not have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all…”
If True, avoid clinging to the pain, anger, bitterness, resentment, hatred, and negative emotions, because these feelings may sew an unfortunate pocket into your soul. Holding our tongue may keep the peace, but its effects may fester and influence how we speak and treat others. The consequence of remaining silent may cause our negative feelings to cling to parts of our past, and consequently hamper our future. However refraining to speak can create a quiet moment and open a space for thought, allowing something wonderful to take its place.
If False, when we choose to say something that is “not nice“, it should be done wisely, in correct moments, and when others are capable of learning. We must hold a space for them to absorb our thoughts and feelings by giving them an opportunity to explore our words with reason. By choosing to speak, we are letting our honesty be witnessed for what it is in the moment. When we do choose to speak we must filter our actions through a lens of love, honesty, and patience.
I feel the answer is found within our moral guide and when we read this instruction manual it often reveals a murky answer. It tells us that life is fluid and dynamic, that no two situations are the same, and so we must feel and think through each situation. If we choose to refrain from speaking, we will never be heard. If we always express our “not nice” feelings we might close the door and shrink the space of others. Just as we judge ourselves, it is the same in return, sometimes our feelings tell us others should resist speaking, or they should simply say whatever is on their chest.
Instead of looking for the best answer for each moment, find how each answer will better serve everyone involved, and which will bring greater LOVE.
Allowing ourselves the space to be one with silence can be a beautiful time to reflect, to dig deeper for answers, and ultimately seek understanding of our life path and direction.
Allowing ourselves the space to be heard may hurt others, and even hearing hurtful words from others can be beautiful blessings. It grants us the opportunity to go deeper into our actions, to question what lead us to this point, and where we are being guided.
Whatever answer we choose leads us to ask the same questions,
- What is its purpose?
- How will we respond?
Meagan Buchanan, Eternity in a Box
