Relationship Boundaries
Our heart sometimes burns brilliantly. It hits us with a furious fire that eats away all the debris from our day. Each lick of the flame makes our heart shutter with searing pain as we are reminded we can feel fantastic and whole.
These sensations are scary, and they make us weary of the world. How can these feelings be real when the air is so cold?
They make us pull away, as we become afraid of the fear that might visit us on future days.
All things are fleeting and every second slips through our hands like grains of sand. Everything ends, this is inevitable, but it doesn’t mean we need to fear its eventual pain. Life is an adventure, and it needs to be soaked up like a sponge.
So when it presents you with an incredible opportunity we need to take the plunge. We only have so many seconds, shoot for the stars by celebrating them with someone you believe is sensational.
The value of every relationship can be determined by weighing it against the feather of truth. Ancient Egyptians believed that upon death our heart was placed upon a scale. At this moment Anubis watched to witness if it was heavier than a tall ostrich plume. Those who were heavy of heart were taken by Ammit the Devourer to reside with Apep the Terrible. Here they would exist eternally in the Pits of Fire. If the feather fell, and the heart rose, Horus would take the dead man’s hand, give him eternal bread, and lead him before Osiris in the Fields of Peace.
We don’t have to wait till the end of our days to weigh our heart against the feather of truth. Nor must we place our heart into the hands of those unwilling to weigh their own heart against an ostrich plume.
Take a moment to search for the truth of those who live their life with you. Are they in harmony with moral law, do they reach out to touch order and truth?
Have you ever taken the time to determine what they want from you? Those who live with an unbalanced heart invite chaos and hurt, they are wicked and live without loving intent. They can do no wrong, and in their eyes no one can deliver goodness for the sake of giving goodness. These people wallow in bitterness and woe.
The ancient Egyptians looked to the Goddess of Ma’at for guidance, for she was the form that was born when chaos was cast from Earth. Through her principles the pharaohs led, because they knew that if they turned from her will, the world would be filled with chaos and dread. Their divine rule was not born from their blood, but instead the wisdom of Ma’at, and her majestic words.
In this moment consider who in your life lives with the desire to exist within the divine light of life. Test their heart against the weight of a feather and see who serves and who subjugates.
Search for those who live with love and seek to fly with the grace of a dove. Ask yourself, which of your loved ones seek to help others across the sky, even though they live with pain and eternal strife.
As we play on the limbs of the Tree of Life, it is often challenging to see beyond our dancing glee. The sun burns so bright our heart fails to see the shadows on the other side of the tree. Life is fleeting, it moves quickly like grains of sand slipping through our hand, so we must be open and observant to witness every speck of beauty and woe.
Think about the people closest to you. Why are you close to them? Is it because they love you? Do they encourage you to become a better person? Do they make life feel sweet, and wonderful, and delightful in ways that are beyond little treats?
What is love? Love is more than sunshine, and lollipops. It is a power that encourages constant, and consistent metamorphosis. It makes us want to be the best person we can be, pushes us to achieve our dreams, and reach for divinity.
Being in love is a state of pure peace, it helps us feel safe, protected, and invigorated, but it must be earned.
We have to give to receive. If we desire to have anything, we must be willing sacrifice something, because if we are unwilling to risk anything, we will be left with nothing.
The pursuit of love requires vulnerability. We must be willing to accept the deepest criticism to feel the greatest peace. It is a baptism by fire, and it requires a leap of faith. We must be willing to walk on hot coals, push against the greatest winds, and weather every storm.
It is earned with pain, vulnerability, and sacrifice, and it must be maintained. Love, like hope is a delicate flower, it must be fed, nurtured, and protected. When neglected its beautiful pedals wither and fall, until it disintegrates into nothing at all. Once lost it can never be found, so we must cultivate its health to harvest its sweet nectar like a bee to eat its wonderful honey.
Sometimes the people we love do not really love us. How can we know when the golden glow they show is genuine and pure? Real love sets you free. It encourages you to dance with glee, and it guides you gently, by opening your heart to the goodness of things.
Live your life to the weight of the feather of truth. Search for moments of vulnerability, observe the hurt that others are unwilling to heal. Surround yourself with the feather of the bird you want to be, live with integrity, and slice out the disease that is dimming the glow of your soul. Live your life by holding hands with the people who lead you to achieve your destiny.
Our quest for inner harmony and personal boundaries is a challenging journey. We are creatures of community, and our existence requires socialization. Unfortunately we have the tendency to surround ourselves with people who inadvertently encourage our demons to rise to the surface, push us toward behaviors and situations that have negative consequences. The more we indulge our dark parts, the greater our demons will boil and burn us.
Peace and harmony can only be achieved by surrounding ourselves with the feathers of the bird we want to be. We have to periodically reevaluate our relationships to ensure our peers promote the values we want to espouse. When we discover they do not meet or exceed our expectations we must slice them from our life.
We have a role in their lives as well. If we are unable to meet their expectations and needs it is our responsibility to tell them. We must stand strong for them by cutting ourselves out of their lives once we realize we cannot give them what they need, or how they need it.
Relationships are not solely about sunshine and smiles. They are hard work. Anything that has value has been earned. We must make sacrifices for the relationships we want, because if we do not, they will never be worth anything to us in a true, meaningful way.
How do we evaluate our peers, loved ones, and friends?
- We must be honest and open to criticism.
- We must cultivate relationships that are open to honesty and criticism.
- We must surround ourselves with people who encourage us to be the best person we can be.
- We must make sure that we are elevating the people around us.
- We need to surround ourselves with people who are humble, empathetic, and creative.
- We need to be surround by people who celebrate the silences of the second.
- We need to be surrounded by people who know when to push us, even when we don’t want to be pushed.
- We need to surround by people who will be there for us when we need love.
- We need to give love to them when they need it from us.
- Those close to us must show to us that they are willing to work to keep the relationship strong.
- We must work to show our friends that we are willing to keep the relationship strong.
- We need to ask ourselves what value they have in our life.
- We need to ask ourselves what value we have in their life.
- Are they asking more of us than we are willing or able to give?
- Are they giving us more than what we think they should be?
- Are they giving us less than what we think they should be?
- Are we giving them more than what we think we should be?
- Are we giving them less than what we think we should be?
- Do we feel good after we spend time with them?
- Do they connect you with people who espouse the virtues that are important to you?
- Are they moving in a positive direction with their life?
- Can you grow together?
