Sometimes our greatest threats are our best friends
Years ago when I was recovering from chemotherapy my life-long friend Pea weasel was facing the terrible threat of homelessness. I couldn’t allow a friend to suffer when I had the tools to help, so I offered him a place to stay, and exchange he would help me keep my home tidy, but otherwise live in one of my extra rooms for free.
In the short time he lived with me I noticed my things begin to disappear. For the most part I blamed it on my weakened memory due to chemo brain, but once my pain meds started to rapidly deplete I realized it was probably him.
I had no evidence to make those claims, so instead I purchased a safe to tuck my meds away. One day I left to get a massage and while I was away I received a call from him informing me that our house had been robbed.
I rushed home, and when I arrived I found police cars outside of my house, when I went inside everything was smashed. My TV was cracked, my furniture was turned over, my Xbox was missing, my computers were gone, my jewelry was stolen, and all of my valuables were absent. The police were walking around my house dusting for fingerprints and asking questions.
Pea Weasel said that the house was robbed when he walked to the gas station. He said that he was only away for about 15 minutes. The story he painted was that the burglars must have ripped out the screen on the back window, opened it and used that as an access point to enter the house and leave with my possessions.
I thought this was strange because there were several other windows that would have been a better way to enter my home.
When the police asked him if any of his stuff was stolen he said no. When asked why, Pee Weasel said it was because he had his dog in his bedroom, and that must have scared the burglars away.
As the police were walking around my home Pea Weasel asked me if I wanted to check the attic. I was confused by his question because I was unaware that he knew how to access it. The reason is because the attic door is in a place that he typically doesn’t have access to, and most people would never know where to look to find it.
“Why would we need to look there? There is nothing in the attic and why would anyone who robbed me want to mess with it?” I asked standing next to the upstairs closet where the attic door was located. I pointed up towards the ceiling. “For someone to go up there they would need a ladder, and then take apart the closet to get into it.”
“Yeah you are right dude. That wouldn’t make any sense.” Pea Weasel replied.
Naturally I chose to avoid the Attic.
When the police left they said the robbers were most likely someone who knew me intimately and had the opportunity to explore my house at one time or another.
I couldn’t think of anyone who would be willing to actually enter my home to rob me.
“What about Ino or Lee?” Pea Weasel asked.
“Lee hates me, and though he is the most calculating and vindictive person I know, he would never be dumb enough to do something like this.” I replied.
“What about Ino?” He continued.
“There is no way Ino would do this. He has no beef with me, and there is no way he would ever break into my house. The guy has issues, but something like this is not his M.O.” I replied.
“I don’t know dude.” Pea Weasel gave me a look of disbelief. “I know.” I said with certainty.
“I know.” I said with certainty.
