Words are meaningful and magical. They can create and destroy, enchant hearts and minds, and weave the world into what we want it to be. Communication is pure sorcery constructed from the building blocks of words and strung together into spells. They are powerful incantations and the ultimate means of manipulating reality.

With as much as we speak it would lead us to believe that the world is populated with wizards and wordsmiths. Unfortunately the apple falls far from the tree and many of us fail to see how we can communicate to transform the great tapestry.

If we want to become a magician of our own mind we must study and relearn the words we once earned. Our spells should be spoken with confidence, radiate significance, and be saturated with truth.

One of the problems we face when speaking to others is the use incorrect terminology. Words have meaning, so when they are used improperly they impair our listener’s ability to understand us.

Sometimes this is done on purpose. In many instances we do this to explore our imagination or to convey a feeling. Other times our speaker’s intent is far more nefarious or malicious.

We must prepare ourselves for these instances, because eventually someone will incorrectly use words to manipulate or confuse us. If we have a solid understanding of our language and the words inside our spell book we will have the wit to counter spell any harmful incantations cast at us.

When I was talking to Pea Weasel after the robbery, he used various spells (strategies) to confuse and manipulate me. One of the things he did was to insert the word “loyalty” into the conversation. He needed to twist its meaning so that his lies could sidestep out of reality into the field of feelings. Fortunately I had the wit and fortitude to counter spell his enchantment, to see through is manipulations with a healthy dose of “this isn’t going to work.”

I avoided his manipulation by taking the time to creatively explore each word used. What does loyalty mean, and what value does it have in the context of our conversation? For more context read RELATIONSHIP BOUNDARIES)

Let us research the definition of this word and any others that may influence how someone could interpret it.

  • Loyalty is the quality of being loyal, or the strong feeling of support or allegiance.
  • Loyal is the act of giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution.
  • Allegiance is the loyalty or commitment of a subordinate to a superior, or of an individual to a group or cause.
  • Support is to give assistance to enable another to function or act.
  • Commitment is the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, or activity. It is also an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.
  • Obligation is an act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound, and a duty or commitment.
  • Duty is a moral or legal obligation; also known as responsibility.
  • Responsibility is the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.

Now we apply those definitions to the word in his sentence. What was his goals with its usage, and was it applied correctly? What was his intent when using it? In that moment I knew he was trying to use it to control me. He wanted to have influence over me in that moment so I would stop talking about the issue at hand.

Just because Pea Weasel used it to manipulate me maliciously it doesn’t mean that all people use words to alter our reality in a negative way. Many people simply use words incorrectly, this is where we must use our wisdom, humility, empathy, and creativity to effectively navigate our interactions with others.