Chemotherapy
When I began my journey I wasn’t told what to expect. Sure the nurse practitioner sat me down and rattled off a series of symptoms, but no one shared with me its true gravity. Hollywood talks a lot about what it is like, but all fail to showcase the road I walked.
My oncology team was detached and uninvolved. Cancer was bad, surgery was horrible, but the chemotherapy and my oncology team made the experience unimaginable. No one ever asked me what I was willing to experience or lose. No one suggested a care plan that would prepare me for what I was about to live through. I had no advocate, no mentor, no guide.
When I started my journey I was told by my thoracic surgeon to avoid researching my disease. In fact every member of my health care team suggested I turn the computer off, close the books and listen only to them. This led me down a terrible path.
When I first met my oncologist it felt good to meet a health care provider excited about my disease. I took that as a good sign. Instead it turned out he was aroused by the idea of treating someone with a rare cancer.
The first doctor appointment I had with him I asked, are there any specialists for this disease, is there any research and are any trials available. His answer was no, no, no. Later, after chemotherapy I discovered all his answers were false. I could have had a specialist, there was research and trials were available. Eventually I would come to accept that cancer was the greatest gift I have ever received. God granted me a beautiful blessing, an opportunity to see the world with new eyes and explore the wonder of the world. I was a creative soul, but that energy was not enough. The universe showed me how to live with humility and empathy. It gave me the tools needed to discover my dreams, achieve my goals, and live with purpose.
