As the quality of each massage drops and the prices continue to rise, the public will begin losing sight of the value we have in their life. Eventually a time will come when their belief in our benefits wane. On this rainy day all will be lost, and our purpose will slip down the drain. To stop this, we must become better than we thought we could ever be. We must raise the spirits of others and work to help them feel free. Together we can create something great by building a culture that fosters empathy, humility, and creativity.
Massage helps spread wonder, peace, and serenity to those who need it. It is more than a luxury; it reconnects us with our humanity. Unfortunately, we often fail to receive the massages we need to remain connected to our passion and humanity. We must remember what it means to be a client, so we can become better providers. With a strong foundation we can rebuild our beloved industry, show the public how majestic massage can be and guide our community toward harmony. We achieve this by educating the public, reteaching ourselves, and remembering how fantastic a massage can feel.
Exploring Quality of Touch as a Client
Have you ever felt someone massage your back like they were trying to rip you in half? Perhaps you requested firm pressure and suffered through the frustration of unmet expectations. Have you felt like the massage had no rhyme or reason? Sometimes a massage feels rote, like the therapist only knows how to perform it one way. Other times they do the same movement so many times it becomes annoying. Pressure is not a one size fits all experience. You should feel wonderful during and afterwards. It does not have to hurt; a massage can be beneficial without feeling like you are being torn apart. A massage is more than random pokes, prods, and squeezes. When you get a massage, it should be the best massage of your life every time. A great massage is unique. It needs to be customized to how you are feeling right now. Your senses should be showered with pleasure, peace, and serenity.
Communication
Experiencing your desired quality of touch requires communication. The time before your massage is an opportune moment to share your wants and needs with your therapist. Inform them about any pertinent medical conditions you may have. If you do not communicate with them, there is no way they will meet your expectations. You are the central component to a great massage. If you have a desired outcome for the session, they need to know it beforehand.
I tell my clients that they know their body infinitely more than I do. My education and experience afford me knowledge of anatomy and physiology, but you have lived in your body since the day you were born. We just met, so give me the knowledge I need to be the tool that helps you feel terrific.
Tell me what you want, how you feel, and your desired outcome and I will help you feel wonderful.
A massage therapist should ask you all sorts of questions before, during and after the massage. They do not have to make conversation, though they can if you want them to. Many people just want to remain silent and fall asleep, others want to chat, share, and learn more about the person massaging them. This is your experience, make it what you want it to be.
However, even if you want perfect silence, it is important that the therapist feels comfortable asking you questions from time to time. This allows them to make sure you are comfortable, or to ensure the pressure is right. This kind of communication is essential so they can make sure they are meeting your pressure expectations.
We look and listen for non-verbal cues like foot movement, breathing variations and unusual sounds you may make. A great massage therapist wants to help you feel safe, secure and at peace. If you don’t like something let us know. As professionals we take your requests in a positive light. You are the center of the universe when on our table. We are here to help you ease away your hurt, talk to us and discover how magnificent massage can be.
You do not have to fight fire with fire
Many old-school massage therapists believe we must fight fire with fire. They believe the only way to eliminate your pain is by making you feel more pain. This philosophy is a dangerous myth that perpetuates your cycle of pain. Modern pain science indicates we need to address how the central nervous system, aka your brain, perceives and interprets touch and movement.
The discomfort you feel isn’t in your neck, back, leg, arm etc., it is in your brain. This is not a mind-over-matter or “you choose to hurt” diatribe. You cannot choose to defeat cancer, regrow lost limbs or regenerate crushed bones. Instead, you can participate in activities that help your body recover from injury, adjust to the loss of a limb, improve your immune system or in the case of massage transform how you interpret touch and movement.
Your brain collects sensory information from your nerves about your body. It uses this information to protect you. If it believes an activity might lead to injury, a pain response could be activated. Participating in behavior that regularly activates this defense might train your brain to think that area always hurts. When painful pressure is applied to this area it reinforces your brain’s perception that it is in danger and needs to be protected. This reinforces your brain’s fear of being injured and encourages the area to hurt. It believes it is protecting you by doing this, unfortunately it results in chronic pain. More often than not, fighting pain with pain leads to more pain.
How do we tell our brain to chill out so we can have a pain-free day? I wish we could flip a switch and turn off all the horrible things in life. We can’t turn it off like a light, but we can ease it away for a time. Most likely it won’t fade away all of your hurt, but it will give you the reprieve you need. As a man living with chronic pain I know how wonderful it feels to escape the shackles of unrelenting agony. It is heavenly, it fills you with so much joy, your heart energizes your spirit with hope. A hope that one day the pain you know today will not be there tomorrow.
There is hope, there is always hope. Many believe hope is thinking everything will be wonderful. Hope is knowing you will always face challenges, that you will make the most of every moment. It is seeing that in every second is a snapshot of infinite beauty.
When we cannot massage away the pain, we can reduce the stress and anxiety that magnifies it. We achieve this by retraining how our brain interprets touch and movement.
Retrain you Brain
Have you ever found yourself using your fingers to dig into your muscles with knife-like pressure? For a moment it feels terrible, suddenly for a few moments it feels amazing, then the pain rushes back with unrelenting force. Stop torturing yourself and start nurturing them as you would coddle a child.
Massaging your body with painful pressure is like yelling at a baby to get it to stop crying. At first you might scare it into silence, but it will cry again. Stop yelling at your muscles, be gentle, precise, and compassionate. Take your time and guide your muscles lovingly to a peaceful, safe place.
The goal of an amazing massage is to provide you with so much pleasure it transforms how your brain perceives touch and movement.
If you experience pain 365 days a year, 24-hours a day, a massage can be a vacation from the world. It can feel like a miracle. It is profound to watch someone react to the peace of walking from a massage without pain. An amazing quality of touch is more than how you press your fingers into your client’s flesh. It is the intent of the pressure and an awareness of how people experience touch. A great quality of touch can only be achieved with empathy, intuition, and a genuine passion to help others feel wonderful.
Many massage therapists fail to reach a great quality of touch because they believe they know your body better than you. You are the expert of your body. We are the vessel that sails you to your perfect place of peace, but you are the expert of the seas. A great massage therapist listens, communicates and is present.
