We like to blame everyone else for the hardships that make us feel insane. We cry about all the red flags we should have seen, or how we seem to fall into the same nightmarish dream. “Woe is me!” We scream and whine to anyone willing to listen. “How could I have ignored so many red flags?” We often say out loud, sometimes even to a crowd, and we blame everyone except ourselves. Our phrase of the day becomes blame, and we shame others for our bad decisions and willingness to be manipulated.
The word of the decade is narcissist, and anyone who hurts us will be diagnosed by our expertise in keyboard psychology. Surely the only option for why they did such a terrible deed was because they have a self-absorbed disease.
Unfortunately the reality is we suffer with the delusion of inflated self-deification. Truthfully, why wouldn’t we? We live in a culture that celebrates trauma like Christmas, we see weakness as wonderful, and grant accolades to anyone who wallows in their own misery.
We don’t take responsibility for our own actions and emotions for a multitude of reasons.
1. It requires confidence to take ownership of our behavior. Having confidence requires work, we must endure hardship to shape ourselves into something significant. Many would rather endure the agony of complacent misery than seize their seconds and become someone who radiates power and strength.
2. Our society celebrates and explores the vice of cowardice. As a culture we can only muster courage behind a keyboard. Few have the conviction to make eye contact when face-to-face, let alone the courage to say anything directly or of consequence to someone they are having a conversation with.
3. The weakest souls of our society are numerous enough to shape our world through the disease of cancel culture. No one is free to share ideas without a threat against our prosperity or ability to feed our family.
4. We get stuck inside negative energy loops. The media and other electronic social influences over-inflate our perception of self-worth while dehumanizing our existence at the same time. It tricks us into believing we are owed something we have not earned. Then when we do not have it we feel sad and empty. To push against the ever-encroaching maw of our emotional void we try to fill it with as much instant gratification as we can. This terrible temptation draws us into an infinite negative energy loop.
It’s like wanting big strong muscles while being unwilling to work for them. Instead of putting in the energy to change, we inject our muscles with synthol oil, so our arms look the part, while we remain weak. We may trick ourselves momentarily into believing our new form looks fantastic, but ultimately we are aware that it is a fabrication, and we feel worse than we ever did before. Unfortunately once when have taken this route it is difficult to change course, and our obsession spirals out of control. At the end of the dark road our arms are destroyed, and we can no longer move.
How could we ever expect to take ownership of our actions when everything seems meaningless and random? Once the negative energy wheel begins to move it’s nearly impossible to make it stop.
5. We are tired. Life often seems impossible especially when we live with seemingly unlimited moving parts. We are inundated with so many details our incorporeal union simply lacks the energy to keep up. A rubber band only has so much rubber no matter how far we stretch it.
At the end of the day how do we take a stand when we feel like our rubber band is about to break?
6. There are very few rewards for doing the right thing, and honest apologies mean nothing. We live in a cruel world where keyboard warriors demand others to make public decrees of guilt and remorse, yet when they do the war does not end. As a collective they whine and cry as they gather their pitchforks and torches before burning other people’s lives to the ground. Why would anyone want to rise and take a stand when we know everything will always end bad?
In conclusion.
How do we stop blaming others for the hardships that make us feel insane? We need to change how we see red flags and analyze why they are ignored when we witness them. In life we repeat various incarnations of the same mistakes until we have collected enough wisdom to wade through our woe in a wonderful way. We will know we have reached this goal once we start saying “Well I got what I deserved, I should have paid attention to what my gut wanted me to know.”
We will have shame, but it will no longer be the blame game. Our wisdom will remind us on a regular basis that we allowed ourselves to be influenced and manipulated.
We will refrain from diagnosing everyone who has hurt us as a narcissist. Instead our soul will remind us that we are adults who were never forced to be with them.
To get to this point we will need to explore our creativity, humility, and empathy. It will require many lonely nights of delving deeply into our souls zones to unearth our flaws and faults.
As we become the Sherlock Holmes of our own soul we will discover the clues we need to become someone new. With each shred of truth we will start seeing the proof of our self-absorbed disease. Once we start witnessing the reality of our self-deification we can begin closing the doors of trauma celebration, weakness worship, and our desire to wallow in our own misery.
Using these clues we can unglue our existence from the excuses for why we refuse to take responsibility for our own actions.
