After the police left I began inspecting my losses. My computers were stolen, my TV was smashed, my speakers were thrown about the house, my camera was missing, my Xbox was gone, all of my jewelry was nowhere to be found, and I was missing about $1,000.
I found it interesting that the computers were taken but the cords were left behind. Then I noticed my safe was missing.
“Hey, I found your safe.” I heard him say from the garage.
My spider senses tingled. He didn’t know I had a safe. The thought didn’t linger long in my mind though because if there was a safe in the house surely it had to be mine. I walked into the garage to see him standing above my safe. I moved closer so that I could assess its contents. Inside I found my car title, it was torn in half and wet, and I saw one of my gold rings. It was clear that whoever broke into my safe tore it in half and then peed on it.
Some medicine still remained inside, and a few twenties were present. I laughed and commented on how stupid the burglar was.
Pea Weasel became defensive and talked about how they must not have seen it when they cracked the safe.
I collected my stinky title, the money, and my gold ring. I cleaned them off in the bathroom as best as I could, and I walked back into the garage. As I was in the bathroom Pea Weasel started cleaning up the mess in the living room.
“Hey, did you take the medicine that was in here?” I yelled from the garage.
“No, why?” He said walking back into the garage.
“Well because it is missing.” I replied shaking my head.
“Oh shit dude they must have snuck back into the house when we left the garage!” He looked around frantically.
A creepy chill walked up my back and I looked at him like he was an idiot. There is no way someone snuck back into the garage after we left. The garage door was still closed, and if someone opened it we would have heard it. In addition to this the back door was locked with a deadbolt.
“That doesn’t make any sense.” I closed my eyes with a sigh.
“Yeah dude, they must have snuck back in here when we left the room”
“How? The garage door is closed, and the back door is dead-bolted.” I pointed toward the obviously impossible doorways.
“They must have picked it.”
“They? Who?” I was getting emotional, confused, how could this have happened? Clearly I didn’t believe him.
“I don’t know dude but whoever it was must have been watching your house for a long time!”
“Who?! And for what reason?”
“Well you run with a bunch of bad people, maybe some of your criminal friends robbed you?” His voice changed to a condescending tone.
“Criminal friends? I run with hipsters, geeks, and hippies. I don’t have any criminal friends.”
“Maybe it was Lee?” His voice settled.
“Lee would just smash my face in, he wouldn’t rob me, and then come back that same day to steal a handful of pills. He is evil, but he is not an idiot.” I shook my head and walked past him to enter the kitchen.
“Maybe it was Ino?”
“We have already gone over this. Why would Ino want to rob me? It doesn’t make any sense.” I replied.
“Well when you play with fire you get burned!”
“What does that even mean? I don’t play with fire, what are you talking about?” I said to him as he entered the kitchen.
“Well someone thinks you have something here. What do you have that they want?” He continued.
“Who? I don’t have anything anyone wants. I’m just a guy with cancer on disability. I don’t have anything anyone would want.”
I walked away frustrated.
Later that night after the sunset I saw him staring out the back window.
“What are you looking at?” I asked.
“I saw someone out there.” He said in a low eerie voice.
I looked outside but there was nothing to see. Most of my yard was trees and things so I found it doubtful he could see anything either.
“I’m going to check it out.”
“Ok.” I shrugged.
He put his dog on a leash and went outside with a flashlight. I watched him through the window as he walked around my backyard. Then I saw him jump the fence to run around in the park behind my house. I couldn’t see him, but I could see his flashlight dance from place to place, it was cartoonish in a way.
When he came back inside he was in a panic. “I saw someone dude, there were a bunch of them.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know dude, but they were wearing night vision goggles and they were scoping out your house.” I listened to him as he tried to catch his breath.
“Why would they do that? Why would anyone waste their time by watching me?”
“I don’t know dude; they must think you have something. What do you have here that would make them want to watch you?”
“I don’t have anything. Why would a team of people buy a bunch of night vision goggles to scope out my house? Your story doesn’t make any sense.”
“Do you think I am lying to you?”
“Yes.”
“Why do you think I would do such a thing?”
“Because I think you robbed me.”
“I can’t believe you would say such a thing! What have I ever done to you that would suggest I would steal from you?”
“Because you have been stealing my medicine.”
“I can’t believe you would say such a thing. We have been friends for over 20 years. Where is the loyalty?” He challenged me.
“Yeah, where is the loyalty?”
He pressed his hands into his eyes then turned around dramatically. A moment later he faced me with tears streaming down his cheeks.
“I would never do anything to hurt you.” He stepped close to me and my danger awareness shot to the roof. I eyed my environment for a weapon. Then he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for the first time ever. “I love you dude; I would never do anything to hurt you.”
It was the ickiest hug I have ever received, and once he let go he had a look on his face like he had accomplished something.
“Are we good dude?” He said with remorse.
“Yeah… sure…”
